You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Archer - Danger Island: A Warrior in Costume (S09E09)

"Oh, do not listen to them, their pockets are stuffed with back pay."
Archer
"And they have not seen a woman in months. Oof."
Archer
"Ahem."
Archer
"Here, take this down to the shop and tell Mister Wong"
Archer
"you want the biggest jar of coconut butter he's got."
Archer
"- Why? - Trust me."
Archer
"[Pam] Base a Rojo Tres. [military music]"
Archer
"Rojo Tres, responde. [static]"
Archer
"Rojo Tres... Rojo Tres."
Archer
"God... Archer!"
Archer
"- [Archer on radio] What? - [Pam on radio] You're Rojo Tres!"
Archer
"I thought I was Red Thr... Oh."
Archer
"- [Crackers, low] Jesus Christ. - Shut up, bird."
Archer
"[Pam] No, you shut up, and keep an eye peeled for"
Archer
"- that son of a bitch Ziegler. - [Ziegler on radio] Ja?"
Archer
"- Wha...?! - He could be anywhere."
Archer
"[Ziegler laughs, guns firing] Goddamn it, Ziegler, you..."
Archer
"[Ziegler chuckling] Adiós, desayuno."
Archer
"Ziegleeeer!"
Archer
"[gasps]"
Archer
"[heavy breathing]"
Archer
"[angry sigh] Oh, Ziegler."
Archer
"[Fuchs laughs] It means the brickmaker!"
Archer
"Ziegler, this is a family name in German for someone who makes bricks."
Archer
"- [Lanaluakalani] Mm-hmm... - [Fuchs] But in this case,"
Archer
"it has also another meaning"
Archer
"because he turns the enemy warplanes into bricks!"
Archer
"[laughs] Yeah, other languages have puns too."
Archer
"But not as powerful as German puns!"
Archer
"- Shhh! - And so, with Ziegler"
Archer
"and the other pilots providing close air support to the new soldiers,"
Archer
"nothing, not cannibals, not zose verdammt lizards,"
Archer
"can stop us from finding the idol!"
Archer
"[stage whisper] Keep your voice down!"
Archer
"If my father hears you, he'll cut your balls off!"
Archer
"[chuckling] Ja, right, like your bodyguards, eh?"
Archer
"- No! - Oh."
Archer
"But until then, get back in here and bring me some more... wienerschnitzel."
Archer
"[Fuchs] I, uh, still need a bit more time..."
Archer
"Still? Ugh. What is taking so long?"
Archer
"I must, uh, replenish my lebenskraft."
Archer
"[Lanaluakalani] Still, though..."
Archer
"Wait a minute, you're not seeing someone else, are you?"
Archer
"Don't be foolish. Besides, what other women even live"
Archer
"on this gottverlassen island?"
Archer
"[delighted laughter]"
Archer
"♪ Oh, it's a long way to Tipperary ♪"
Archer
"♪ It's a long way to go ♪"
Archer
"What zis the meaning of this?!"
Archer
"The best I can tell, it's about an Irishman"
Archer
"- learning about cunnilingus. - Quoi?"
Archer
"- Oh, sorry, that's when... - I know what it means!"
Archer
"- Really? - I mean these German soldiers!"
Archer
"They have invaded French territoire!"
Archer
"- And my heart, if I'm being honest. - What?!"
Archer
"If these big lugs gamble and screw as much as they drink, I can retire!"
Archer
"Well, you may be for sale, madame,"
Archer
"but the honor of France is not. I shall place them all under arrest!"
Archer
"[gulps]"
Archer
"- Viens, Doudou! - Well, bonne chance with that..."
Archer
"[Charlotte delighted laughter] ♪ Farewell Angleterre... ♪"
Archer
"[grunts in pain]"
Archer
"Silence! Who is in charge here?!"
Archer
"I think I am. Hauptmann Ziegler."
Archer
"Zis island is French territory!"
Archer
"You and your men are here illegally!"
Archer
"Oh. But we are just here as tourists!"
Archer
"[chuckles and laughter]"
Archer
"Well, then I hope you enjoy the tour of my jail."
Archer
"Because you are all under arrest!"
Archer
"[all protesting in German]"
Archer
"Come on, we are just some cool guys on leave,"
Archer
"and since France is so far away, and you are so outnumbered,"
Archer
"can't you also just be a cool guy?"
Archer
"- Non. - Fair enough."
Archer
"Et tu n'as rien fait... Rien!"
Archer
"[soldiers, distant] ♪ Oh it's a long way to Tipperary... ♪"
Archer
"Tipperary. Pfft. It's a long way to the goddamn ground,"
Archer
"in a tired-ass Russian biplane, when you lousy krauts are"
Archer
"ripping around in your brand-new goddamn Messerschmitts..."
Archer
"[Pam over radio] Okay, Archer, keep an eye on your six this time."
Archer
"Don't worry about me, Pam."
Archer
"Today's the day, I can feel it, I'm gonna..."
Archer
"[Archer] Ziegler!"
Archer
"[Ziegler laughing]"
Archer
"Oh, so now we're just camping?!"
Archer
"Higher top speed, higher ceiling, tighter turn,"
Archer
"better rate of climb, so big whoop, you got a couple of kills."
Archer
"[gulping]"
Archer
"It's easy when you sneak up on people."
Archer
"[Pam over radio] So, again, and I really can't stress this enough..."
Archer
"Don't worry about my six, Pam."
Archer
"Nobody's gonna sneak up on me now."
Archer
"[plane approaching] Ohh... wait, hang on..."
Archer
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no. [machine gun firing]"
Archer
"Oh! Ziegleeer!"
Archer
"So drink up, Ziegler, you ratdick,"
Archer
"because your nightcap is gonna be..."
Archer
"[hiccups] ...bullets."
Archer
"First thing, I'm gonna shoot your eye out."
Archer
"And then your dick off. And then..."
Archer
"[Reynaud groaning]"
Archer
"What the...?"
Archer
"- What're you doing? - What does it look like?!"
Archer
"- Uh... a hermit crab? - Idiot! Get me out of here!"
Archer
"- I'm busy. - Wha...?!"
Archer
"What the...?"
Archer
"- Oh, shoot. - Aww, maaan..."
Archer
"- What the hell're you doing?! - Well, we know you're sad,"
Archer
"so we were gonna surprise you with a Kringle."
Archer
"- A what? - Kringle."
Archer
"Kringle. State pastry of Wisconsin?"
Archer
"Wisconsin has a state pastry?"
Archer
"Kringles."
Archer
"- Stop saying Kringle! - Okay, jeez!"
Archer
"But what're you doing with your gun, there?"
Archer
"I'm gonna go in there... Actually, no, wait..."
Archer
"You're gonna go in there, and lure Ziegler in here,"
Archer
"that's better, and I'm gonna hide in the pantry,"
Archer
"and then I'm gonna bust out and shoot his eye out."
Archer
Show more clips