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Clips from King of the Hill - My Own Private Rodeo (S06E06)

"If I can forgive him for tongue-stabbing me on my holy day, why can't you?"
King of the Hill
"I can't tell you how many nights he locked me in that rabbit hutch."
King of the Hill
"My dad doesn't care about me."
King of the Hill
"But the cake part, now, that is an excellent idea."
King of the Hill
"Imagine this. A re-wedding cake."
King of the Hill
"I have a favor to ask."
King of the Hill
"Would you bring this invite to Dale's dad?"
King of the Hill
"-Nancy-- -Hank, it's been 20 years."
King of the Hill
"Maybe Bug has changed. I've changed."
King of the Hill
"If he has, invite him so he can give Dale away again."
King of the Hill
"If he hasn't, tell him I look great and to go to hell."
King of the Hill
"I don't know. Bug's a cowboy. How do you find a cowboy?"
King of the Hill
"In his last postcard, he said his rodeo..."
King of the Hill
"was gonna be in Coburn, through the end of the month."
King of the Hill
"-Pretty please. -Well, I guess I am the best man."
King of the Hill
"And with the joy of responsibility comes the burden of obligation."
King of the Hill
"I wonder why so many cowboys have mustaches."
King of the Hill
"Oh, my God, look."
King of the Hill
"The beer tent."
King of the Hill
"I kind of like this song."
King of the Hill
"Rainbows."
King of the Hill
"Where are all the ladies?"
King of the Hill
"Well, they're probably crowding around Dale's dad's trailer."
King of the Hill
"ANNOUNCER: [On loudspeaker] Aid iext up ii the drag race it's Buttercup McGee,,,"
King of the Hill
"Yeah, he must have lost some kind of crazy cowboy bet."
King of the Hill
"Boy, does he feel silly."
King of the Hill
"But doi 't go aiywhere, rodeo fais, Up iext, Bug Gribble,,,"
King of the Hill
"takes oi the meaiest goat ii Texas,"
King of the Hill
"Aid the fui is just begiiiiig here,,,"
King of the Hill
"at the gay rodeo!"
King of the Hill
"Shut up, Bill. Don't laugh. They can hear you."
King of the Hill
"-Gay rodeo. -Yeah, dang old blazing saddles, man."
King of the Hill
"Come on, guys. Keep it together. You're acting like a bunch of 12-year-olds."
King of the Hill
"That's where they parked poor Fran Tarkenton."
King of the Hill
"I don't get it. Why would Bug be in a gay rodeo?"
King of the Hill
"Maybe he couldn't make it on the regular circuit."
King of the Hill
"It's like those guys who have to play European basketball..."
King of the Hill
"or Canadian football."
King of the Hill
"Aid iow, please direct your eyes,,,"
King of the Hill
"to the maii areia for the eveit of the day,,,"
King of the Hill
"Bug Gribble aid Madeleiie the goat,"
King of the Hill
"Iadies' undergarments on that animal?"
King of the Hill
"Oh, my God."
King of the Hill
"Boomhauer, you wanna go get some cotton candy?"
King of the Hill
"That would make me happy, or should I say gay?"
King of the Hill
"Good one, man."
King of the Hill
"All right, they're gay. Ha-ha-ha."
King of the Hill
"Now, here's trailer number seven. We gotta go talk to Bug."
King of the Hill
"Boomhauer and I are gonna go out in the parking lot and make out."
King of the Hill
"Dauterive, man. You're on a roll, man."
King of the Hill
"Jerks."
King of the Hill
"No autographs! Unless I'm signing your chest."
King of the Hill
"Come in, come in, come in. Eitrez-vous,"
King of the Hill
"FYl, it's a mess."
King of the Hill
"So, what are you doing here?"
King of the Hill
"Are you gay?"
King of the Hill
"Oh, my Lord!"
King of the Hill
"Something has happened to Dale, hasn't it?"
King of the Hill
"He didn't return-to-sender my last postcard."
King of the Hill
"No, no. Everything's fine."
King of the Hill
"as kind of a surprise for Dale."
King of the Hill
"Oh. Oh, God. The wedding."
King of the Hill
"That was not this cowpoke's finest hour."
King of the Hill
"Yeah, you know, my friends are waiting for me...."
King of the Hill
"It was 20 years ago."
King of the Hill
"to the most beautiful Filipiio caterer,,,"
King of the Hill
"he leaied ii close,"
King of the Hill
"I paiicked,,,"
King of the Hill
"Dad?"
King of the Hill
"Every day I think about the mess I've made of things and I'm tortured, Hank."
King of the Hill
"Yeah."
King of the Hill
"The invitation didn't say anything about formal attire..."
King of the Hill
"but I'm guessing you might want to..."
King of the Hill
"-you know, tone it down a bit. -Don't worry."
King of the Hill
"I'm not gonna wear the spangles and rhinestones when I see Dale."
King of the Hill
"Those are my stage clothes."
King of the Hill
"So, I'll see you later. Have fun at your camp."
King of the Hill
"Who wants paella?"
King of the Hill
"Gary and Mike made it, and it's decadent."
King of the Hill
"Oh, company."
King of the Hill
"He's a friend of a friend."
King of the Hill
"-I'm a friend of his son. -You have a son?"
King of the Hill
"Bug, how can you have a son?"
King of the Hill
"I asked you a question. How can you have a son?"
King of the Hill
"Well, you see, when a man and a woman care for each other..."
King of the Hill
"-what happens-- -I was married!"
King of the Hill
"Married? You lying snake."
King of the Hill
"I was confused, and it was a very painful time for me."
King of the Hill
"I'm sorry."
King of the Hill
"Juan Pedro, please."
King of the Hill
"Please, Juan Pedro."
King of the Hill
"By the way, pumpkin..."
King of the Hill
"so some of the champagne bottles contain gasoline and rags."
King of the Hill
"Or was it the wine bottles?"
King of the Hill
"Howdy, Dale."
King of the Hill
"Prepare to be destroyed by the deadliest of all martial arts..."
King of the Hill
"monkey style."
King of the Hill
"[Making monkey noises]"
King of the Hill
"Pressure point, gouge the eyes, grab the tongue, Achilles tendon."
King of the Hill
"-I hate myself for what I did to you. -I hate you more."
King of the Hill
"Planting one on Nancy was the worst, most disgusting thing I've ever done."
King of the Hill
"And I'm here to say I want my boy back."
King of the Hill
"[Sobbing]"
King of the Hill
"And to think I once called you..."
King of the Hill
"Daddy!"
King of the Hill
"-Let it out, child. -I am. I'm crying."
King of the Hill
"pasting my father's head back onto family photos..."
King of the Hill
"I'd have called you nuts. But here we are."
King of the Hill
"I'm glad you're glad he's back, sug'..."
King of the Hill
"but have you noticed anything different about your dad?"
King of the Hill
"Yep, as long as he keeps his hands off your hot body..."
King of the Hill
"Pssst!"
King of the Hill
"Guys, do you want to see the most heartwarming sight you've ever seen?"
King of the Hill
"Look, my dad's teaching Joseph an old cowboy trick."
King of the Hill
"and don't let the panties slip over your elbows."
King of the Hill
"Don't worry, Grandpa. That goat's getting pantied."
King of the Hill
"[Goat braying]"
King of the Hill
"-Yep. -Yep."
King of the Hill
"Yep."
King of the Hill
"Bug Gribble's taxi service."
King of the Hill
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