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Clips from The Simpsons - The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase (S08E08)

"That's the Louisiana Governor's Mansion. It's been missing for eight months."
The Simpsons
"Welcome to ma maison, Chief. I've been expecting you."
The Simpsons
"Is that so, Big Daddy? Well, expect this! The arrest of you by me."
The Simpsons
"Mes chers, New Orleans is my town."
The Simpsons
"Won't nobody gonna mess with me. I got interests."
The Simpsons
"And I ain't talking about stamp collecting."
The Simpsons
"Though, I do find that extremely interesting."
The Simpsons
"Oh, yeah? Well, that makes two of us."
The Simpsons
"You know, boys..."
The Simpsons
"He's gradually getting away, Chief."
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"Ah, let him go. I have a feeling we'll meet again each and every week..."
The Simpsons
"always in more sexy and exciting ways."
The Simpsons
"Daddy, when I grow up, I want to be just like you."
The Simpsons
"- Start eating? - [All Laughing]"
The Simpsons
"I didn't mean it that way."
The Simpsons
"Oh, hi. Welcome back to our Spin-Off Showcase."
The Simpsons
"Could The Simpsons ever have maintained its popularity without Moe the bartender?"
The Simpsons
"Let's hope so, because Moe's leaving to do his own sitcom."
The Simpsons
"But don't panic. He's taking a familiar sidekick with him."
The Simpsons
"And his best friend Homer might just pop in to wish him luck. Let's take a peek."
The Simpsons
"Well-Ahh- I better go."
The Simpsons
"I got a date with that lady in front of the drug store who's always yelling things."
The Simpsons
"I did! It's me, Abe Simpson!"
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"But you're d-d-d-dead."
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"I was. But I've come back as your love testing machine."
The Simpsons
"- I'm The Love-Matic Grampa! - [Screams]"
The Simpsons
"## [Continues]"
The Simpsons
"## [Ends]"
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"Don't be afraid, Moe. I'm here to help you with your romantic problems."
The Simpsons
"I'll have you know I wrote the book on love."
The Simpsons
"Yeah, All Quiet on the Western Front."
The Simpsons
"[Audience Oohs]"
The Simpsons
"- Ah, kiss my dishrag. - [Audience Laughing]"
The Simpsons
"See? That's your problem. You're a crab. Ladies like sweet-talkers."
The Simpsons
"Hey, I'm sweet. I'm sweeter than Jewish wine."
The Simpsons
"Then prove it! I want you to charm..."
The Simpsons
"the next pretty young thing that walks through that door."
The Simpsons
"Mmm, greetings!"
The Simpsons
"[Audience Laughing, Cheering, Applauding]"
The Simpsons
"Son, it's me. I floated up toward heaven but got lost along the way."
The Simpsons
"[Gasps] Dad, is that really you?"
The Simpsons
"Darn tootin', you lousy fink!"
The Simpsons
"You buried me naked and sold my suit to buy a ping-pong table!"
The Simpsons
"- What kind of a son- - [Electricity Crackles]"
The Simpsons
"- Call me when you get a karaoke machine. - [Audience Laughing]"
The Simpsons
"- [Whirs] - That's the second time he pulled the plug on me."
The Simpsons
"- [Footsteps Approaching] - I was just in a car accident. Can I use your phone?"
The Simpsons
"- Uh, using the phone's a four-drink minimum. - Uh-uh!"
The Simpsons
"What's the matter? I'm making as nice as I can."
The Simpsons
"Test lady. Test lady."
The Simpsons
"Go ahead, give it a try. It goes by how clammy your hands are."
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"Well, I suppose I could use a laugh after that accident."
The Simpsons
"[Dinging]"
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"Lovelorn. You need man."
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"Moe near now. Go near Moe."
The Simpsons
"- What? - "Go near Moe." I'd say that's a pretty strong endorsement."
The Simpsons
"So how about you and me go out sometime? You know, out back?"
The Simpsons
"- [Imitates Buzzer] - I mean, uh, out to dinner at a fancy French restaurant?"
The Simpsons
"- Bing! - Sounds great."
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"And if this Love Tester is as accurate as it looks..."
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"maybe we'll be having breakfast too."
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"- [Audience Cheering] - You did it, Grampa! You really are a love expert!"
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"Dang right. Fact is, I invented kissing."
The Simpsons
"It was during World War I, and they were looking for a new way to spread germs."
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"[Chattering]"
The Simpsons
"[Audience Laughing]"
The Simpsons
"so Betty won't get wise to us."
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"- [Whirs] - This is not the evening I envisioned."
The Simpsons
"Whoa! She just got here. Give me some advice, quick."
The Simpsons
"Uh, you know, just be sweet. Pour on the honey, you know."
The Simpsons
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, romantic. Uh, ain't sunshine pretty? Ain't flowers stupid?"
The Simpsons
"I gotcha."
The Simpsons
"You're not all hung up on looking attractive and desirable."
The Simpsons
"l-It's just so rare and refreshing."
The Simpsons
"So, Moe, tell me a little about yourself."
The Simpsons
"Myself. Uh, geez."
The Simpsons
"- Huh? - I got the runs."
The Simpsons
"Hey, get away from that! Leave him alone!"
The Simpsons
"- You all right, Grampa? - ## [Singing Slowly]"
The Simpsons
"## [Ends]"
The Simpsons
"Will you quit your clowning? I need help here."
The Simpsons
"- [Clanking] - Ohh!"
The Simpsons
"- and twice as fragrant! - Okay."
The Simpsons
"- You are absolutely, positively the dumbest... - [Audience Laughing]"
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"[Gasps] What is going on in here?"
The Simpsons
"Um, uh, oh, uh, I might as well come clean with ya."
The Simpsons
"so I brought along the Love Tester to help me."
The Simpsons
"Why, you conniving, devious..."
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"monstrous, despicable, sweet little angel."
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"But, Betty, it you'd just give me a chance-What?"
The Simpsons
"I can't believe you went to all that trouble for me."
The Simpsons
"Ding, ding, ding, ding!"
The Simpsons
"- [Both Laughing] - [Together] Thanks, Grampa."
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"Yeah, yeah. Now how's about introducing me to that cute little pay phone out front?"
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"- [Both Laughing] - [Audience Laughing, Applauding]"
The Simpsons
"He's horny."
The Simpsons
"## [Singing]"
The Simpsons
"## [Ends]"
The Simpsons
"Welcome back."
The Simpsons
"I'm talking with the curator of the museum ofTV and Television, Mr. John Winslow."
The Simpsons
"the Simpson family finally gets the chance to show off the full range of their talents."
The Simpsons
"Unfortunately, one family member didn't want that chance and refused to participate."
The Simpsons
"But thanks to some creative casting, you won't even notice."
The Simpsons
"Show us what you got, TV."
The Simpsons
"Live from Radio City Music Room in downtown Springfield..."
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"Featuring the Waylon Smithers Dancers..."
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"and the Springfield Baggy Pants Players."
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"And now, a family that doesn't know the meaning of the word "canceled'..."
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"- the Simpsons! - [Cheering, Applauding]"
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"Roll call!"
The Simpsons
"[Sucking]"
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"I'm Lisa, peppy, blonde and stunning."
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"Wait a minute! Whoa, whoa! ## [Whistles]"
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"Hmm."
The Simpsons
"- Here he is! - I'm hiding from th-th-the ghost!"
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"- Ghost? What ghost? - B-B-Before the show..."
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"you said we were having a special "ghost" tonight."
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"[Applauding]"
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"[Audience Laughing]"
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"- ## [Ends] - [Applauding]"
The Simpsons
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