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Clips from The Simpsons - The Secret War of Lisa Simpson (S08E08)

"- Ohh. - [Beeping] - [Phone Ringing]"
The Simpsons
"- Simpson. - Hot diggity!"
The Simpsons
"Oh, Grampa, you're not busy, are you?"
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"Well, you're really asking two questions there."
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"The first one takes me back to 1934."
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"Admiral Byrd had just reached the Pole..."
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"only hours ahead of the Three Stooges."
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"I guess he won the argument, but I walked away with the turnips."
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"The following morning, I resigned my commission in the Coast Guard."
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"The next thing I heard, there was civil war in Spain."
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"And... that's everything that happened in my life..."
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"right up to the time I got this phone call."
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"Uh-huh. So, anything else you wanna talk about?"
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"Oh, I'm afraid I'd just be repeating myself, honey."
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"[Groans] Anyway, other people need to use the phone."
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"- [All] Mm-mmm. - I've already talked to her for 20 damn minutes."
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"[Groans]"
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"Hmm? Oh!"
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"[Laughing, Chattering]"
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"- [Boy] You're all right. - Shh."
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"- What is it? - Bart, I got a cassette from Mom and Dad."
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"I thought we could listen to it together."
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"Oh, gee, Lise, I'd love to, but this really isn't a good time."
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"All right. Lights out!"
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"- [Stubs Foot] - Aah! Damn it."
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"Lights on! Lights on!"
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"Lights out. Lights out."
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"[Marge On Tape] Don't worry, sweetie. It's very common to be homesick..."
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"when you're so far away from the people who love you."
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"Okay, I'm not gonna give up."
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"Solitude never hurt anyone."
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"Emily Dickinson lived alone..."
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"and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known."
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"[Tape Rewinding]"
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"## [Marge On Tape Singing]"
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"I'm sorry I froze you out, Lise. I just didn't want the guys to think..."
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"I'd gone soft on the girl issue."
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"[Groans] I'm tired of being an issue, Bart."
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"Maybe everyone would be better off if I just quit."
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"But if you quit, it'd be like an expert knot-tier..."
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"quitting a knot-tying contest right in the middle of tying a knot."
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"- Why'd you say that? - I don't know. I was just looking at my shoelaces."
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"Look, the point is, you're gonna make it, Lise, and I'm gonna stick by you."
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"Don't do that. Why should we both be outcasts?"
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"Then I'll just stick by you in secret. Like a sock maker working on a top secret sock-"
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"Will you stop looking at your feet?"
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"Well, cadets, it's been a great year."
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"You've all worked very hard, developing academic skills and general killing skills."
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"My killing teacher says I'm a natural."
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"But these skills are nothing without courage and stamina."
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"by pitting you against each other in a two-day battle royale."
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"- [All Gasp] - That was prior to 1957."
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"Thank you very much, state supreme court."
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"Consequently now, no cadet can receive a passing grade for the academic year..."
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"without first conquering this."
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"Meet the Eliminator."
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"That's a 150-foot hand-over-hand crawl..."
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"across a 60-gauge hemp-jute line with a blister factor of 12."
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"The rope is suspended a full 40 feet..."
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"over a solid British acre of old-growth Connecticut Valley thorn bushes."
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"Gentlemen, welcome to flavor country."
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"This wasn't in the brochure."
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"[Boy] Hey, Bart, come on over here. There's plenty of room."
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"P.S. The cadets are planning to throw their meatballs at you.""
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"[Groans]"
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"[Grunting]"
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"That's it, Lise. Now start crawling."
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"[Grunting] It's too hard. My hand is slipping."
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"[Screams]"
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"I can't do this, Bart. I'm not strong enough."
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"I thought you came here looking for a challenge."
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"Duh! A challenge I could do."
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"It was worth sneaking into town."
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"That was some good corn."
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"Uh-oh."
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"Uh, hey, Simpson, what are you doing out here?"
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"- Nothin'. - Nothin'? Doesn't look like nothin'."
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"Oh, yeah? Well, um, what are you doing out here?"
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"Uh... also nothin'."
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"Well, okay."
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"- Okay. - Then carry on."
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"All right, we will."
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"[Sighs] That was close."
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"- Bees. - [Buzzing]"
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"- Bees. - Bees? [Screams]"
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"- [Lisa Screams] - [Thud]"
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"Gentlemen, I regret to inform you..."
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"that the state supreme court has determined..."
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"that forcing cadets to cross the Eliminator..."
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"is a barbaric and malicious practice."
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"- Yes! - Hence..."
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"you will be the last class to be subjected to it."
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"[Bart Straining] Son of a-"
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"[Straining] Geez! [Sighs]"
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"Good job, Simpson. Although that's more cursing..."
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"than I like to hear from a cadet in peacetime."
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"[All Congratulating]"
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"[Jeering]"
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"Well, at least they're talking to me."
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"[Straining]"
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"- Whoa! - [Gasps]"
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"If only I were in Springfield, all my friends would be cheering me on."
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"Oh, God, I'm delirious."
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"- [Screams] - [Jeering]"
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"[Straining]"
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"[Chanting] Drop! Drop! Drop!"
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"You can make it, Lisa. I know you can!"
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"Come on. I know you can do it. Just get your hands back on the rope."
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"It's just a little further. Come on. Just a little bit more. You're doing great."
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"That's it. Come on. Just a little bit more."
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"[Straining]"
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"Yes!"
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"You thought I couldn't, but I could. I did."
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"And I could do it again. Let's do it again!"
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"Lisa, it's over. You made it. You can put your arms down."
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"I can't. They're stuck."
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"We're gonna make your life a living hell for the rest of the semester."
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"But graduation's in three hours."
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"We better go change."
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"Or possibly on top of a very tall mountain."
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