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Clips from The Office (2005) - The Negotiation (S03E03)

"I can offer you a 12-percent raise,"
The Office (2005)
"I just need you to ask for it so I can record that you asked for it."
The Office (2005)
"Ah so."
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"All right, Levinson, here's the rub."
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"I would like a 15-percent raise."
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"No, but we can offer you 12."
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"But you just said 15."
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"MICHAEL: Negotiation is an art."
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"Higher salaries."
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"But, you know, life is about more than just salary."
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"It's about perks."
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"Michael."
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"How many bedrooms? Four."
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"Dwight. Dwight."
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"Really?"
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"Tales of bravery."
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"Good stuff?"
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"I was thinking tonight we could read it together."
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"That sounds"
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"I..."
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"And now we are even."
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"AND Y: I graduated from anger management"
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"the same way I graduated from Cornell."
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"On time."
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"Now I'm back, got a second chance and I'm not going to blow it."
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"So, look out, Dunder Mifflin."
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"I mean "look out" in a fun way."
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"You know, not like, "I'm going to hurt you.""
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"Hey, guys, guess who's back?"
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"Oh, God!"
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"No need to thank me."
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"I'm not a hero."
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"I'm a mere defender of the office."
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"You know who's a real hero?"
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"Also Bono."
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"(GRUNTS)"
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"Thank you."
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"Man, I cannot believe I missed the fight."
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"Where'd you get that?"
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"so you know you are getting the best possible information."
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"I didn't say anything. I was waiting to see what would happen."
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"rendering him utterly and completely disabled."
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"Oh, it was?"
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"You're wearing a woman's suit? No."
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"Would you stop it, please?"
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"No, I don't want to do that because I'm twice your size anyway."
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"I got to send some e-mails."
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"Negotiations are all about controlling things,"
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"I wore women's clothes."
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"And then, bam, Dwight sprays him and knocks him on his butt."
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"Roy just attacked him."
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"Well, those are very good points."
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"It is about perks. It..."
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"I still think he's way overpaid."
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"That's 'cause of you, Mike."
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"Well, what am I supposed to do?"
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"No, Jan."
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"we should do it in person,"
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"Toby is the worst human being I've ever known."
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"Buses, though, will get you home quick."
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"Okay. Bring it home now."
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"That's my new assistant."
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"or maybe he was gay or something."
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"I'm sorry, too."
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"There were a lot of reasons."
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"from the Scranton Police Department"
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"No, just..."
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"And today, both Darryl and I took something."
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"Like having sex with Jan..."
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"(SCREAMING)"
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"Hiro from Heroes."
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"Go ahead, ask me for a raise."
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"I'm sure you guys will find your way back to one another someday."
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"I heard you might need it, so..."
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"Thanks, Kev. I'm good, though."
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"There you go."
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"I'm not sure which one Jim hated more."
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"Oh, you can stay, too. He's got a big place."
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"I remember it was very late at night, like 11:00, 11:30."
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"Discharged it at a distance of a little over a meter"
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"Why can't I just tell you?"
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"I don't know. They're, like, Friday night crowds..."
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"I'm here, Jan."
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"I don't mean to be rude."
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"I was lucky Dwight was there."
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"Don't want it."
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"I got this out of a bin."
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"Come on, be for real, Mike."
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"Okay."
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"I've been a loyal employee for a long time."
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"Where? Where?"
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"(SCREAMING)"
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"Well, who's laughing now?"
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"Yeppers."
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"(KNOCK ON DOOR) Yeah?"
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"Okay. Let's take 15 again."
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"Make it happen, Captain."
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"Okay. Let me just get the folder out."
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"Be nice to get a memo. We are lovers."
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"Six percent? After all we've been through?"
The Office (2005)