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Clips from American Dad! - A Jones for a Smith (S05E05)

"We should hang out sometime after school."
American Dad!
"Listen. I'll say this for your own good 'cause you're new here."
American Dad!
"I'm a nerd."
American Dad!
"I know. Nerds are kind of my thing."
American Dad!
"If you think that was nerdy, check this."
American Dad!
"[Rapping] # When the pimp's in the crib, ma #"
American Dad!
"# Hop it like it's hot ##"
American Dad!
"Snoop Froggy-Frog. [Laughs]"
American Dad!
"You sure you won't have one more?"
American Dad!
"Thanks, but I'm a bit tipsy as it is."
American Dad!
"It's bad enough I peed in your shower."
American Dad!
"- Bye. - Oh."
American Dad!
"What did she just say?"
American Dad!
"Hiya, Francine!"
American Dad!
"You should move your car."
American Dad!
"It's street cleaning today."
American Dad!
"Oh. Thank you, Al."
American Dad!
"[Engine Starts]"
American Dad!
"[Siren Blares]"
American Dad!
"I'm afraid that was an illegal u-turn, ma'am."
American Dad!
"Oh, come on. I live right there."
American Dad!
"Can't you just give me a break, Pig-fucker?"
American Dad!
"That is not my name, ma'am."
American Dad!
"[Gasps] Oh!"
American Dad!
"Oh, forgive me, Officer Figpucker."
American Dad!
"I-I think I'm drunk is all."
American Dad!
"- Francine. - Oh, Stan. Thank God."
American Dad!
"- Did you pay my bail yet? - Oh, no. [Sneezes]"
American Dad!
"I just came to visit. You know I don't believe in bailing people out."
American Dad!
"- What? - Like at summer camp."
American Dad!
"- You think girls trade bras at summer camp? - I would."
American Dad!
"I'd get rid of my ratty old beige bras, and trade up for something lacy."
American Dad!
"Stan, listen."
American Dad!
"It's okay for people to ask for help."
American Dad!
"Like when they're in a drunk tank..."
American Dad!
"with a guy who calls himself Mr. Businessman."
American Dad!
"I'm wearing a suit, you see."
American Dad!
"Francine, I'm sorry, but you need to get yourself out of this mess."
American Dad!
"and nurse this cold with some soup."
American Dad!
"# Chunky beef #"
American Dad!
"Want me to be your husband?"
American Dad!
"- [Scoffs] - You're right to make me earn it."
American Dad!
"[Slurping]"
American Dad!
"There's our little jailbird now."
American Dad!
"See? She got out all by herself..."
American Dad!
"They branded me with a shamrock, Stan."
American Dad!
"So, Mom, how did you get out of jail?"
American Dad!
"I went before the judge..."
American Dad!
"and she sentenced me to community service..."
American Dad!
"so I'm working at a soup kitchen starting today."
American Dad!
"Soup kitchen? No, no, no."
American Dad!
"It's wrong to feed starving people."
American Dad!
"It takes away their motivation."
American Dad!
"The system works."
American Dad!
"I need to be over there."
American Dad!
"I'm gonna keep swinging my baby lasso..."
American Dad!
"till I catch me a man."
American Dad!
"- Out of my way, bums. - Stan?"
American Dad!
"This is the soup my wife is serving for dinner."
American Dad!
"That makes it my dinner."
American Dad!
"You'll have to find something else to spill..."
American Dad!
"on the outermost of your five coats."
American Dad!
"Looks like a whole lot of soup."
American Dad!
"Who are you? The damn soup police?"
American Dad!
"- I deserve that. - No, I'm sorry. I'm..."
American Dad!
"I'm just trying to nurse this cold."
American Dad!
"You know, I'm in the pharmaceutical business."
American Dad!
"This'll clear you right up."
American Dad!
"I see. It's some sort of heated inhalant."
American Dad!
"Wow! You're right. I feel great!"
American Dad!
"Whoo! Any chance I could get some of that cold medicine to go?"
American Dad!
"Sure thing."
American Dad!
"No need, pal. First time's free."
American Dad!
"Whoo! I feel strong enough..."
American Dad!
"to drag a mattress into an abandoned building."
American Dad!
"how about you throw a little ding-a-dong-ding-ding ol' crackhead Boo Boo's way?"
American Dad!
"No, it's not crazy."
American Dad!
"Okay, everyone. It's time for the C. I.A. obstacle course."
American Dad!
"- Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah, sweet!"
American Dad!
"Once outside, you'll navigate every obstacle..."
American Dad!
"you'll encounter in the field in Afghanistan."
American Dad!
"[Sneezes] Hmm."
American Dad!
"Don't want this cold getting in the way of my performance."
American Dad!
"On your mark. Get set."
American Dad!
"Whoo! Yeah."
American Dad!
"[Shouting]"
American Dad!
"[Grunting]"
American Dad!
"The typical Afghani market bazaar has hidden dangers everywhere."
American Dad!
"The stitching is fantastic."
American Dad!
"This would really look great- [Groans]"
American Dad!
"- [Bones Crack] - [Gasps]"
American Dad!
"Yeah!"
American Dad!
"[Ticking]"
American Dad!
"Good work, Smith. Whatever you're doing, keep it up."
American Dad!
"Her name was Hot Sauce, and I loved her."
American Dad!
"I hope someone breaks your neck one day, you murderer."
American Dad!
"- Geez. - I know, right?"
American Dad!
"Let's see. I couldn't use the "F," so I subtract three points."
American Dad!
"- I know something you can use the "F" for. - Oh, my."
American Dad!
"- You kids having a good time? - [Screams] Hello, sir."
American Dad!
"Will you excuse us, Janine?"
American Dad!
"[Gulps] Mr. Winthrop, I wasn't trying anything."
American Dad!
"- I swear. - That's a pity. Janine likes you."
American Dad!
"- Uh, what? - Steve, I understand young love."
American Dad!
"My daughter wants to be with you intimately..."
American Dad!
"Oh, God. I'm gonna pass out."
American Dad!
"If you and my daughter get physical..."
American Dad!
"I only ask that you do it safely under my roof."
American Dad!
"Okay. Janine? Janine?"
American Dad!
"[Chuckling] Of course, I'll have to meet your parents first."
American Dad!
"I'll organize a dinner for our families in a few days."
American Dad!
"And, son..."
American Dad!
"safety first."
American Dad!
"And don't worry about the sheets."
American Dad!
"She's ridden horses her whole life."
American Dad!
"Whoo! Clears my sinuses right up."
American Dad!
"Crack? This is cold medicine."
American Dad!
"- No, sir. It's crack. - It's not crack."
American Dad!
"I bought it on a park bench outside a soup kitchen..."
American Dad!
"from a guy in a lime-green suit..."
American Dad!
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