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Clips from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - Pilot (S01E01)

"...slap you in the face with old banana skins..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"God, you are so proportional."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Every day for ten years."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Even when you were pregnant? - Mm."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"There you are. Are you hungry? I made curry,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I'm sure it's fine. Did we have children?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Did you hear we're coming downtown"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"to see you tomorrow night?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"We haven't been below 14th in months."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I'm going to wear a beret."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Ah, the curry's terrible. We'll have the takeout."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Bob Newhart: You've seen one, you've seen them all."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Right. Uh, listen, Abe,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Y-You're thinking of shaving it off?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"don't you see that's part of the image?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Joel?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Joel."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You're not gonna believe this."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Bob Newhart is doing your act."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"He must have come to the club one night"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well, different because he does it faster,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"but that's besides the point."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I'm mad. Aren't you mad?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Midge, relax."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You're not mad."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Not even mildly bemused?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It's his act."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"What?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Are you gonna put the rest of this on a platter?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I've got his record."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"So you stole Bob Newhart's act."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It's fine. Everybody does it."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"No. Not steals."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"June Freedman used my meatloaf recipe,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I almost stabbed her in the eye with a fork."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Everybody in comedy steals..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Borrows everybody else's jokes,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"when he started."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I thought you'd written it..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I feel a little silly now."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well, I did put my spin on it."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And my inflection is different."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Guess I'd better go apologize to June Freedman now."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Hello. - How's the brisket?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Is it okay? - Do you know something I don't?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Yes. It's fine. What's the matter?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Archie and Imogene are coming, remember?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"They're coming tonight,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You know what? Cancel them. Tell them I'm sick."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I should have changed that lunch, damn it."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Joel, come on. I promise you'll get on."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I'll bring the brisket. I'll do my thing."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Okay. - Hey."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Remember this whole comedy thing,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"my show sweater. I left it at home."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Okay. I should go."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Huh."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Now let's measure that forehead."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Oh, geez."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Where the hell have you been?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- It's 8:30. - I know. I'm sorry."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Go. Go, go."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Do you have my sweater? - Yes."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You didn't have to stand out there."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I would have come up."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You get here at 8, you come up."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Are you kidding me?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Holes everywhere. - What?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I can't believe you didn't look at it"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I was in a hurry to meet you. You can hardly see them."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Hardly see? Look, look."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"A hole here, a hole here, two holes here."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It was probably a moth."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- A moth? - Yes."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"What moth?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Ted. Ted the Moth."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Dime-sized holes, that's his signature."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Going on stage with holes in my shirt like a bum."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It's downtown. If you have underwear on, you're overdressed."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Hey, why don't you talk about it?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- About what? - About your sweater."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"have a cup of coffee, calm down?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Yeah, fine. Hurry."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Mm-hmm."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Nope."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Excuse me."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Okay. He couldn't get away from work"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"to come down here earlier for a time to perform."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Anyhow, it was a crazy day at work,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- the Clearys, and... - Wait a minute."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Over there."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"to give my husband a better time..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Why isn't he over here?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Why isn't he asking for the time?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well, I have the brisket."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"So..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"So thanks."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Everyone here looks like Allen Ginsberg."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Hey, there, kitten. - Hi."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"This place is perfectly filthy."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Don't go in the bathroom."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well, now I'm definitely going in the bathroom."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Your sweater tells another story."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"So? What did he say?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Uh, he wasn't there,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Man: Now who here likes hillbilly polka?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"All right, next up, a lady"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"fresh off some boat from somewhere."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"When the hell am I going on?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Janet Shaw."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Spokane."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Spokane."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Spokane."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Rumble of lumber trucks."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"The one who looks like she lives under a bridge."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Oh. Susie. She went out."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"God, no. Who would ask?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Any minute now. - Spokane."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Oh, it was a blast, though."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Oh, no, wait... wait just a few minutes."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
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