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Clips from Family Guy - 420 (S07E07)

"I don't care if you printed a million copies."
Family Guy
"And I even commissioned an oil painting for your author's photo."
Family Guy
"And what's this?"
Family Guy
"Okay, just the sticker then. So what do you say? Is it a deal?"
Family Guy
"You don't have to sell out like this, Brian!"
Family Guy
"Your novel is good enough to be published on its own merits."
Family Guy
"- You think so? - Yeah, you bet."
Family Guy
"This is your shot, Brian. You can be a superstar author."
Family Guy
"Forget it, Carter!"
Family Guy
"Even Stewie says the book is good enough on its own."
Family Guy
"Right, Stewie?"
Family Guy
"Maybe do a song about why pot is bad."
Family Guy
"thanks to universal panning by literary critics."
Family Guy
"That's pretty cool."
Family Guy
"This is so humiliating. I sold out everything I believed in,"
Family Guy
"and I have nothing to show for it. My book's a bomb."
Family Guy
"My house is made of mediocrity."
Family Guy
"for anyone who can help me find James. No questions asked."
Family Guy
"I killed your cat."
Family Guy
"Peter, I want you and the guys to come over to my house right now."
Family Guy
"Oh, finally! Come on. Come on. Come on inside."
Family Guy
"It's a cat."
Family Guy
"Watch when I scratch his bottom. He sticks his fanny in the air."
Family Guy
"I'll tell you this."
Family Guy
"That leg is mostly pus."
Family Guy
"- I hate Quagmire lately. - Me, too."
Family Guy
"Yeah. Like, when I went over to his house the other day."
Family Guy
"Quagmire's not here."
Family Guy
"Are you selling yarn? 'Cause I love yarn."
Family Guy
"Yeah. And don't just put your name. Write something clever."
Family Guy
"You can get a scratching post down at Walmart for $2,"
Family Guy
"Hey, you know, the cat's alone at Quagmire's right now."
Family Guy
"What do we do?"
Family Guy
""Or is it?" is my response."
Family Guy
"What do we got, partner?"
Family Guy
"Empty alcohol containers."
Family Guy
"He said it!"
Family Guy
"I can't believe they threw me in jail for a quarter ounce of pot."
Family Guy
"Well, Brian, it's your own fault. I mean, pot is illegal for a reason."
Family Guy
"Well, sure, Brian, but I'm thinking about the children."
Family Guy
"You mean right now?"
Family Guy
"Yeah. Joe is doing a drug test,"
Family Guy
"Brian, you know I can't go unless you stare at it."
Family Guy
"No. What's sick is the plot of the movie Baby Mama."
Family Guy
"You've got to have a little more showmanship."
Family Guy
"But all you need is a bag of weed to really get a kick"
Family Guy
"A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed"
Family Guy
"One, two, three, ho! A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed"
Family Guy
"No, you don't need meth and you don't need speed"
Family Guy
"Have a go, Brian."
Family Guy
"As Mr. H. L. Mencken said '"The common man's a fool'""
Family Guy
"Hey!"
Family Guy
"Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed"
Family Guy
"And it's made everything just so great."
Family Guy
"Here's Ollie Williams with a BlaccuWeather forecast."
Family Guy
"Look, Lois, ever since marijuana was legalized, crime has gone down,"
Family Guy
"No! Those are my Diet Rites!"
Family Guy
"Which means I'm losing billions in timber dollars."
Family Guy
"My back is hurting from the chair I'm sitting on"
Family Guy
"If I lay down flat on the floor it usually kind of fixes it"
Family Guy
"Bye."
Family Guy
""Now, let's go to France and steal all their objects de art. '""
Family Guy
"Thank you for your time."
Family Guy
"but I just don't think this is gonna work. It's so artificial."
Family Guy
"I printed two million."
Family Guy
"Is this an Oprah Book Club sticker? I think it is."
Family Guy
"And that's why pot is bad"
Family Guy
"Well, look at it this way. You did accomplish something."
Family Guy
"Marijuana's illegal because of you,"
Family Guy
"Isn't he just the cutest thing you've ever seen?"
Family Guy
"Well, I gotta get going."
Family Guy
"What a queer."
Family Guy
"He's got scratches on his face and arms."
Family Guy
"A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed"
Family Guy
"Hi, I'm Peter."
Family Guy
"All you have to do is publicly come out against pot."
Family Guy
"There's a blood-soaked corpse in the back seat."
Family Guy
"They rent The Rocketeer"
Family Guy
"Because I don't do drugs."
Family Guy
"It seems today that all you see"
Family Guy
"I understand now why the pharaohs worshipped these animals."
Family Guy
"Oh, look, Joe. He's making friends."
Family Guy
"- Glenn, can I just... - No! You can't have it!"
Family Guy
"Well, that all seems fine. Sorry to bother you, sir."
Family Guy
"No, no. Pot is illegal because William Randolph Hearst"
Family Guy
"for the manufacture of paper."
Family Guy
"Enough government profiteering under the guise of morality!"
Family Guy
"Apparently, they own the rights to Hitler's likeness"
Family Guy
"Lucky there's a man who positively can do"
Family Guy
"All right, Carter. I finished cutting together our anti-pot video."
Family Guy
"And a five, and a six and a seven. Oh!"
Family Guy
"There you go. You're all getting it now."
Family Guy
"Thanks. That's great."
Family Guy
"He's a family guy"
Family Guy
"You can try and fight but we're all agreed"
Family Guy
"Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed!"
Family Guy
"Brian Griffin's Faster than the Speed of Love"
Family Guy
"And a one, two, three, four"
Family Guy
"I've heard all I need to make an informed decision."
Family Guy
"In other news, a local Quahog author has set a record"
Family Guy
"All the things that make us"
Family Guy
"God, I hate having to come up with something on the spot."
Family Guy
"You're under arrest, dirtbag!"
Family Guy
"Brian, if you don't mind,"
Family Guy
"Uh, how's that gonna..."
Family Guy
"When I tell you every person needs a way of feeling good"
Family Guy
"Oh, boy! I usually only get this excited"
Family Guy
"Lucky there's a family guy"
Family Guy
"All right, hang on. I gotta go to the bathroom first."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"Well, what is it? What's the big damn deal?"
Family Guy
"It's 97 degrees out here. We're two grown men."
Family Guy
"You want us to sign a card for your cat?"
Family Guy
"Will you guys relax? He's got eight more lives."
Family Guy
"You see? I'm part of it! I'm part of it like everyone else!"
Family Guy
"I need some urine."
Family Guy
"- Stewie, I need your urine! - Really?"
Family Guy
"have the right to use marijuana if we choose to!"
Family Guy
"You're a happy guy when you plant the seed"
Family Guy
"- He humps a guy like me - Right!"
Family Guy
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