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Clips from Broad City - Friendiversary (S04E04)

"Yes! Thank you!"
Broad City
"(PUPPIES YELPING)"
Broad City
"(CHUCKLING) Hey."
Broad City
"- Hey! Oh, my God, dude. - (LAUGHING)"
Broad City
"That scavenger hunt was insane."
Broad City
"I mean, I've never experienced anything like that."
Broad City
"I mean, I rode a horse."
Broad City
"I have... I didn't know that I could ride a horse."
Broad City
"- I did. - You know me better than I know myself."
Broad City
"Better than you know yourself."
Broad City
"- Oh! - Same..."
Broad City
"BOTH: Page! (LAUGHING)"
Broad City
"- Oh, That is so... - It's so..."
Broad City
"BOTH: Hilarious!"
Broad City
"Yes."
Broad City
"BOTH: Ahh..."
Broad City
"- That's so sweet. - And look, it's our dish."
Broad City
"- It is our dish. - I dream of these chicken fingers."
Broad City
"Funny thing is, we won't have any dreams tonight"
Broad City
"because we'll be shitting"
Broad City
"ourselves so crazy with diarrhea."
Broad City
"(LAUGHING)"
Broad City
"Aren't these incredible?"
Broad City
"So anyway, happy friendiversary."
Broad City
"- Friendiversary... Yeah. - Ew."
Broad City
"Okay, so now, gifts."
Broad City
"Ilana, um, hold on a second, I need to..."
Broad City
"No... No. No, no, you go."
Broad City
"from my great-grandmother,"
Broad City
"Fanny Rose, who came here on a ship during Fiddler on the Roof times."
Broad City
"And they were experiencing violence and raids in their shtetl."
Broad City
"so she swallowed these diamonds, over and over again,"
Broad City
"pooping them out and sifting through the poop"
Broad City
"and swallowing them again to continue the cycle"
Broad City
"and keep them safe until they were in America."
Broad City
"It's offensive if you don't accept it."
Broad City
"I can feel her when I hold that necklace."
Broad City
"And I feel like you're bringing her back to life."
Broad City
"It looks gorgeous."
Broad City
"Even, like, on a T-shirt. You kinda dressed down, which I get."
Broad City
"It's... It's sort of natural on you."
Broad City
"Thank you."
Broad City
"Um..."
Broad City
"(SIGHING) I did research,"
Broad City
"and I got a memento"
Broad City
"that I... I think is the best..."
Broad City
"- Mmm. - And it is a,"
Broad City
"um, intensive hydrating face mask."
Broad City
"- You feel that I'm dry? - No."
Broad City
"And that you're extremely rejuvenating for me."
Broad City
"You regenerate me."
Broad City
"- Great, thank you. - Yeah."
Broad City
"(SIGHING) Not mad, just informed."
Broad City
"I planned"
Broad City
"a big night"
Broad City
"on the top of the Empire State Building!"
Broad City
"And I got the bill as well."
Broad City
"I love that tradition and very much remember."
Broad City
"I think it's actually better up here in the rain."
Broad City
"- What? - Forget it."
Broad City
"- It is kind of romantic. - Romantic."
Broad City
"and, like, on the same page, totally, completely."
Broad City
"Oh, my God, Ilana,"
Broad City
"and I... And I planned an activity for us."
Broad City
"Check out the city. Come on. Here we go."
Broad City
"You're up first. VIPs."
Broad City
"The city really is so magical."
Broad City
"Oh, my God, dude!"
Broad City
"- What? - Hot sex! (GASPS)"
Broad City
"- Look right there. - Let me see, let me see."
Broad City
"(ILANA LAUGHING)"
Broad City
"Oh, my God, Ilana, this is fucking disgusting."
Broad City
"We gotta come up here more often."
Broad City
"Do not be a fucking homophobe."
Broad City
"No, look!"
Broad City
"- (GASPING) - BOTH: Holy shit!"
Broad City
"And then her... Her body bounced. Right over there."
Broad City
"- Oh! - Cool."
Broad City
"Maybe you two were bored. You just need a little excitement."
Broad City
"You know it's a felony to report a false crime?"
Broad City
"Okay, we don't need any excitement."
Broad City
"Okay, all right. Calm down."
Broad City
"(SCOFFING)"
Broad City
"Yeah, I mean, I think so."
Broad City
"Abbi. Dude."
Broad City
"No, the body's in the bag, Ilana!"
Broad City
"Okay, okay."
Broad City
"ABBl: I mean, what are we even gonna say to him when we confront him?"
Broad City
"Are we confronting him?"
Broad City
"Yeah, we're gonna be, like, we saw you kill your girlfriend, bitch!"
Broad City
"God, I mean, this is so crazy. We are being so crazy right now."
Broad City
"What if he has a gun?"
Broad City
"was about to be sexually assaulted, and she twisted the dude's dick."
Broad City
"- Yeah, 12th season, 1998. - Amazing season."
Broad City
"The other girl, who'd also been attacked, pissed on her attacker, and it worked."
Broad City
"- A karaoke bar? - What?"
Broad City
"Do you see him?"
Broad City
"(MUSIC PLAYING)"
Broad City
"(CONTINUES VOCALIZING)"
Broad City
"Why even get engaged if you're just gonna murder her?"
Broad City
"Ugh, milk? What a fucking baby."
Broad City
"Let's go."
Broad City
"Hi, um, excuse me, sir,"
Broad City
"do you know the name of the movie that man just bought tickets to see?"
Broad City
"Jerking off at Daddy's Back after he kills his wife?"
Broad City
"- Whoa! - How long is the movie?"
Broad City
"Plus 45 minutes of previews."
Broad City
"That means we have enough time to sneak into his apartment."
Broad City
"Whoa! No, bitch. You are a cuckoo bitch."
Broad City
"We're not breaking into his apartment."
Broad City
"Ilana, you were the one that just said"
Broad City
"that we're this productive and efficient team. We run this city."
Broad City
"You know, the mother of his children does deserve her justice."
Broad City
"- Ladies, can I help you? - You can indeed."
Broad City
"We are here to surprise our uncle."
Broad City
"He just left a little bit ago, and we wanted to sneak into his apartment"
Broad City
"And we just wanted to set up before everybody else got here."
Broad City
"but we just forgot the exact number."
Broad City
"Oh, that's Mr. Hudson's apartment, 5D."
Broad City
"Yeah, Uncle Hudson, we love him."
Broad City
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