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Clips from Broad City - Friendiversary (S04E04)

"(GASPS AND SIGHS)"
Broad City
""We've pissed our pants so many a time,"
Broad City
"Oh, my God, yes."
Broad City
"Scavenger hunt!"
Broad City
""The next clue is held tight by a long-haired purveyor"
Broad City
""in the place you got a hickey and I was a player.""
Broad City
"You know, you're a sexy little bitch."
Broad City
"Where does she find these fucking people?"
Broad City
"- I don't wanna see another dick today! - It's a clue."
Broad City
"This is nuts."
Broad City
"- (LAUGHS) - The Intrepid? Beautiful."
Broad City
"(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)"
Broad City
"Dude, that... Scavenger hunt"
Broad City
"was genius for the friendiversary."
Broad City
"You can go first."
Broad City
"Thank you, 'cause I am so freaking excited."
Broad City
"- Yeah. - Okay, so this is a family heirloom"
Broad City
"I don't know what to say."
Broad City
"No words necessary. Just put it on."
Broad City
"Uh, Ilana, I... I can't accept this."
Broad City
"Not just to me, but to Grandma Fanny Rose,"
Broad City
"- It's your turn. - Yeah, my turn... Okay."
Broad City
"- What? - Well, okay."
Broad City
"- Thank you so much. Great. - Are you mad?"
Broad City
"because"
Broad City
"You are so prude. It's weird."
Broad City
"No, I'm not."
Broad City
"Two ladies? Oh, my God! You gotta see this!"
Broad City
"(THUNDER RUMBLING)"
Broad City
"OFFICER: Okay, love bugs,"
Broad City
"I'm sorry, sweethearts, there's no evidence here."
Broad City
"I mean, we saw that, right?"
Broad City
"Holy shit!"
Broad City
"He probably does. Everybody has fucking guns."
Broad City
"Oh, my God. I saw this Oprah once where this girl"
Broad City
"ABBl: Yep. Genius. ILANA: Genius."
Broad City
"ILANA: An hour and 50 minutes."
Broad City
"Yeah, we just need to make sure we do this the smart way."
Broad City
"(GIGGLING) Hi!"
Broad City
"- See, we got a cake and everything. - Ugh, yum."
Broad City
"and we know he's on a corner apartment,"
Broad City
"Jesus, white girls can get away with anything"
Broad City
"Healthy-Iooking hookers."
Broad City
"Whoa."
Broad City
"Yeah."
Broad City
"Oh, my God."
Broad City
"Holy shit!"
Broad City
"'cause she'll read too much."
Broad City
"Sick."
Broad City
"Cleaning supplies."
Broad City
"She thinks that she's gonna use them to clean the toilet."
Broad City
"- Mmm. - God."
Broad City
"Oh, my God."
Broad City
"WOMAN: 9- 1-1, what's your emergency?"
Broad City
"Oh, my God. The cake!"
Broad City
"This is it, this is it."
Broad City
"- Okay. - This morning..."
Broad City
"I was the horse."
Broad City
"Sorry. I'm so sorry."
Broad City
"No, Abbi, no!"
Broad City
"- What the fuck is that smell? - Chicken fingers from..."
Broad City
"The fuck are you doing here?"
Broad City
"We were making love."
Broad City
"Like an American Girl doll hospital."
Broad City
"Then what were you doing jerking off at Daddy's Back?"
Broad City
"- What? - Sorry, sorry!"
Broad City
"So as you can see, this has just been a stupid misunderstanding."
Broad City
"Not that a true companion,"
Broad City
"- you know, wasn't injured tonight. - ILANA: No."
Broad City
"(BOTH LAUGHING)"
Broad City
"- Hey. Enough. - Okay."
Broad City
"Terry's just one man trying to find a little bit of comfort"
Broad City
"And what's the difference between Fran and your guns"
Broad City
"making you feel like men?"
Broad City
"It's an interesting feeling that I wouldn't mind experiencing."
Broad City
"Ew, Ilana. That was you?"
Broad City
"Happy friendiversary."
Broad City
"So what are we doing?"
Broad City
"It was a misunderstanding."
Broad City
"You, sir, do you wanna..."
Broad City
"- Okay. - (CLEARS THROAT)"
Broad City
"Oof. No shoes. Yeah."
Broad City
"I feel like he gets pedicures and keeps them nice, right?"
Broad City
"Okay, Kim Kardash."
Broad City
"(LAUGHING) I know, um..."
Broad City
"- Hmm, okay. - Yikes."
Broad City
"That was nuts."
Broad City
"I'm sorry, I... I'm really sorry."
Broad City
"- that she kept up her butt or whatever. - (CHUCKLES)"
Broad City
"I should probably take that back."
Broad City
"like, I know it's a small thing, but those are very hydrating."
Broad City
"Isn't it nuts when you think about"
Broad City
"that that dude had murdered his wife tonight."
Broad City
"(THUNDER BOOMING)"
Broad City
"ABBl: Holy shit, what the... This is insane."
Broad City
"ABBl: You tell me, 'cause I don't know."
Broad City
"ILANA: You can't tell me. You don't know!"
Broad City
"I have to tell you something."
Broad City
"Who did this?"
Broad City
""but this place was first and thus sublime."
Broad City
""the cleanest can on the block, right next to the hose."
Broad City
"(CACKLING)"
Broad City
"Forgot my phone. Okay."
Broad City
"(GASPS AND EXHALES)"
Broad City
"MAN: (SINGING) Four and three and two and one, one"
Broad City
"(CHUCKLING) Ew..."
Broad City
"Cha-ching!"
Broad City
"This is the whole clue? It's a blank piece of paper."
Broad City
"Put it over the fire, you dumb whore."
Broad City
"Ew!"
Broad City
""The next clue's in a place we went and weeped."
Broad City
""A man holds the key, he's prolly asleep.""
Broad City
"- (SCOFFS) - (LAUGHING)"
Broad City
"Thank you for the information."
Broad City
"- Put it on my tab, Barney. - You got it."
Broad City
"Ha-ha! Got her!"
Broad City
"(GASPING) Oh, my God."
Broad City
"Hi! Oh..."
Broad City
"No, please, don't show me your dick!"
Broad City
"Oh, my God!"
Broad City
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