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Clips from South Park - The Passion of the Jew (S08E08)

"The Passion of the Jew"
South Park
"Approaching planet Omega Nine."
South Park
"What kind of atmosphere are you reading on the planet surface, Jew?"
South Park
"Okay, fine, I guess we'll look for- Oh no!!"
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"No it doesn't."
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"He does not!"
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"How do you know?! I've seen The Passion thirty-four times now, Kyle!"
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"One please."
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"I'll let you in to see it."
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"How? How could the Jews do that to Jesus?"
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"I didn't know, I... I didn't know."
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"Mmm, one more time, Kyle."
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"Everyone in the country's gonna see that movie."
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"That's bullcrap dude, let's go get our money back."
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"Hey, we want our money back."
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"We go to church to learn that stuff! We go to movies to be entertained!"
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"Oh, we will! This is America!"
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"And in America, if something sucks, you're supposed to be able to get your money back!"
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"Kill Jesus! Yesss!"
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"your source for everything Mel. Pictures, philosophy, upcoming projects."
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"Mel Gibson's The Passion Fan Club."
South Park
"Uh huh, and so you want to join the fan club now. Our first meeting is at 5:30 p. m."
South Park
"Hey, don't take that tone with me, kid! I'll kick your ass!"
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"Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready to do thy bidding, Mel Gibson."
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"Ah hello everyone. Achtung."
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"Thank you, thank you very much."
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"Oh, what a great idea! We each make it our responsibility to convert one more person!"
South Park
"Goddamn, Mel Gibson must be loaded."
South Park
"Look, dude, we came a long way. We're not leaving until you give us our money."
South Park
"Oh yeah? Well you're gonna have to find it first. But I won't tell you where I keep my money."
South Park
"I get it, but you don't have a choice, is that it?!"
South Park
"Dude, can we please just have the eighteen dollars back from you?"
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"And this friend belongs to a certain, Chosen People of Israel."
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"I I can't sleep at night. I mean, my... friend can't sleep at night."
South Park
"Wait. That's it. Atonement. Of course. I know what I have to do now. Thank you, Father."
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"Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker"
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"Jesus is Lord!!!"
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"Fellow fans of Mel Gibson, our numbers have grown and now, together, we have the power to change the world!"
South Park
"Now I believe we should take to the streets and march in unwavering support of this important movie!"
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"Thank you, rabbi."
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"And now, I believe, in 2004, the Jewish community needs to apologize for the death of Jesus."
South Park
"Oh my God!"
South Park
"This proves the anti-Semitic effect that movie is having!"
South Park
"Well it looks like with these bus tickets we spend about eighty... seven dollars getting our money back from Mel Gibson."
South Park
"Huh?"
South Park
"Haha, very funny, kid. Sit down and stop playing games."
South Park
"I'm not playing games. Mel Gibson is right behind you and he's gonna-"
South Park
"You didn't like The Passion? But it shows how Christ suffered for you."
South Park
"Mel Gibson is a very spiritual man."
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"This movie is causing anti-Semitism! You must remove it from your theater!"
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"- We demand you stop showing it! - Yeah! Yeah!"
South Park
"So! You boys have led me here to your secret base, huh?"
South Park
"He's kookoo, dude. He's absolutely out of his mind."
South Park
"South Park 804576x432 Xvid 140MB"
South Park
"Captain Cartman reporting from Shuttlecraft Spontaneity."
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"Warp drive disengaged. Landing sequence initiated."
South Park
"I'm a Vulcan!"
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"All right, what kind of atmosphere are you reading, Vulcan Jew?"
South Park
"The atmosphere is oxygen-based, should support our breathing."
South Park
"Okay, First Officer Stan and Engineer Kenny, you come with me on the away team."
South Park
"Vulcan Jew Kyle will wait here."
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"- No! I'm on the away team too! - It's my Mom's new minivan, so I'm the captain, Kyle!"
South Park
"I don't care! You're not making me wait in the van again!"
South Park
"Fine, Kyle! But if something goes wrong out there on the planet surface, don't hold me responsible."
South Park
"Set phasers on stun."
South Park
"- Things seem pretty quiet. - Yes. A little too quiet."
South Park
"I am picking up carbon-based life forms in Sector C."
South Park
"I believe we will find a village of peaceful aliens over that ridge."
South Park
"Look out!! It's a giant four-headed lava frog!!"
South Park
"Shoot it!!"
South Park
"Oh no, it got Kyle!!"
South Park
"Aw, it got Kyle and it's tearing his head off!! Aw you guys, it looks like Kyle is done for."
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"No I'm not! Goddamnit Cartman, you're not gonna kill me off again!"
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"Agh! You see guys, this is why you don't bring Jews along on the away team: they don't play along!"
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"Shut up about Jews, fatass! You don't know anything!"
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"Oh God, here we go again."
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"Oh yeah?! I saw Mel Gibson's movie, The Passion, and Mel Gibson says, in the movie, Jews are the Devil!"
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"You haven't seen it once!"
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"There's even one part where the Jews have a chance to save Jesus, and you know what they do?"
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"They let Barabbas, a serial killer, go free instead and laugh about it."
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"- Naw uh! - Go see the movie, Kyle!!"
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"That does it! I'm sick of you guys arguing about The Passion! I'm out of here."
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"I'm not arguing about The Passion! He's being an asshole!"
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"You don't want that movie to show you just how bad the Jews are,"
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"- and why everyone hates you. - People don't hate the Jews!"
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"Really? Three hundred million domestic box-office, Kyle. The top-grossing film of all time, Kyle."
South Park
"Those numbers don't lie."
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"If you're not scared of The Passion then go see it. Go see it and tell me I'm wrong."
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"Mel Gibson, Kyle. Mel Gibson."
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"...You're a stupid asshole!"
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"Sweeet, now I can just play with myself."
South Park
"Get back in the shuttlecraft!"
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"This is an R-rated movie."
South Park
"Yeah, I know, but I have to-"
South Park
"But, because this is such an important film that actually depicts the selfless act of Jesus Christ,"
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"...Thanks."
South Park
"Pretty brutal, isn't it?"
South Park
"Kinda wanna make you change your life, huh?"
South Park
""And now, back to Terrance and Phillip" Hey Terrance, I think I have a-"
South Park
"Mom! Doorbell!"
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"Mom! Answer the door!"
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"Goddamnit, lazy-ass whore."
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"You were right... You were right all along..."
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"It's okay, Kyle. It's okay."
South Park
"Just... say that first part again?"
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"You were right?"
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"You were right."
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"I want to thank you for all the blessings you have brought me."
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"You have shown me the way so many times in the past and... now you are making all my dreams come true."
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"You give me strength when there is doubt, and I praise you for all you have done."
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"Only you, Mel Gibson, have had the wisdom and the courage to show the world the truth."
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"From this day forward I will dedicate my life to making sure your film is seen by everyone."
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"I will organize the masses so that we may do thy bidding."
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"Hail Mel Gibson. Amen."
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"Look at that, dude. The Passion has made almost 400 milliion dollars at the box office now."
South Park
"I guess... we have to ge see it too."
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"Dude. That movie sucked."
South Park
"How can they even call that a movie?"
South Park
"Wow, I didn't realize how horrible Christ's death was."
South Park
"Me neither. Oh honey, let's be good Christians from now on!"
South Park
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