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Clips from South Park - Erection Day (S09E09)

"Colfax Point..."
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"Pimps and hos and tricks in rows"
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"Women walk the street with corns on their feets"
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"Broken dreams and no ice creams"
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"You lookin' for a date?"
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"I need to put my ...p-penis in a woman's vagina. Any takers?"
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"They call me Nut Gobbler."
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"You a cop?"
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"No. Actually, I'm a stand-up comic."
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"You got money?"
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"Sure do."
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"All right, you got a place to go?"
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"Sure. I know the p-perfect place."
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"My name is Roma, and Oh, it's so nice to see you again, Mr. Valmer."
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"Hey, can it, jackass! I just don't want them to know I was here with a different girl."
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"Oh right, pardone, segnore."
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"I'll come back with some garlic bread mediterraneane."
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"What are we doin' anyway?"
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"This is authentic Italian food straight from S-Sicily."
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"You should try the Lotsa Mozzarella Pizza Roll."
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"I can't eat too much, I'lve got an infected urinary tract."
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"I've been pissin' blood for a week."
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"Oh, uh, wow, that is very interesting. Please tell me more."
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"Well, that's it, I just pissed blood!"
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"If you're pissing blood, you can shuve a tampon up your peehole."
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"You are very insightful. Please tell me more."
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"Look, kid, what are you doin'?! You wanna get laid or not?"
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"Well of couse I wanna get laid."
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"That's why I'm taking you to this ...fancy place and pretending to be interested in what you have to say.."
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"Kid, I'm a hooker."
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"You don't have to take me to dinner OR be nice to me."
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"You paid me, so you get to do me. It's that simple."
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"The talent show is happening right now! Let's get to r-r-rammin'!"
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"What are you doin', ho?! Havin' dinner?!"
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"You're supposed to be workin' for me!"
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"Trick?! I ain't stupid! Ain't no trick gonna take you out to dinner!"
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"This PIMP is tryin' to steal you away from me!"
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"This is MY ho!"
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"I beg to differ with you, sir."
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"Yes, I do have a problem, as a matter of fact!"
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"and she's now my only shot at getting laid,"
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"and the talent show is only a couple of hours from being over."
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"You're comin' home right now!"
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"I'm gonna kick your ass, ho!"
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"Sir, sir!"
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"Taxi!"
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"Follow that pimp and ho!"
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"Where are you taking me?!"
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"I'm gonna kill you, ho!"
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"No! Please! Q Money! I'm sorry!"
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"Nut Gobbler, grab onto my crutch!"
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"Get your ass back in here, ho!"
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"I got you, Nut Gobbler!"
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"I'll never be in your faggy talent show."
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"Yeah, I hope we win."
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"Look out!"
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"Stay on him! I'm not giving up!"
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"Okay, very nice, Clark and Laura. Very nice."
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"Our next act is Butters, who will be singing a song"
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"There's our boy."
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"Lu lu lu, I'vw got some..."
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"some... uh,"
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"Oh no!"
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"No no noho noo!"
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"Okay, thank you Butters, very nice, short and sweet."
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"Goddamn, this pimp just won't give up!"
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"How much do I owe you?"
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"6 dollars and 24 cents."
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"C-can I just get 2 back, please?"
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"Oh, thank you very much."
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"You're gonna pay for this, bitch!"
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"No! Heelllp!!"
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"Don't worry, Nut Gobbler! I'm coming!"
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"Oh Jesus, not now."
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"who will be doing select readings from the movie, Scarface."
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"D'you know what you are?"
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"You're all a bunch of fucking cock roaches!"
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"You need people like me!"
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"and say "That's the bad guy!""
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"Well say goodnight to the bad guy!!"
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"That's my little boy."
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"Please, Q Money! Don't do this!"
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"I told you never to turn on me, ho!"
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"Hey, j-j-jackass!"
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"but I'm very upset!"
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"And what are you gonna do, huh?! I've got four feet on you AND a gun!"
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"What do you have?!"
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"What do I have?"
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"The weapon of comedy."
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"So apparently the Chinese and the Japanese aren't getting along lately."
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"Have you seen this? Have you heard about this?"
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"What?!"
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"I'll tell you one thing: their food hasn't been getting along with my stomach for years."
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"That's pretty good."
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"Martha Stewart is out of jail. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this?"
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"Oh yeah. That's right, she is."
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"She's apparently gotten real good with baking cakes with keys in them."
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"Serves you right, you son of a bitch!"
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"Nice teamwork, Nut Gobbler."
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"I can't believe you chased me all this way."
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"You, you really care about me."
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"Not really. You're just a hooker, and I need to get laid."
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"The talent show could be over any minute."
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"That's good enough for me."
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"Take me to bed."
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"Okay, very nice, Ike, thank you."
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"Mr. Mackey, it's over."
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"Oh oh oh, right."
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"Now we will tally up the judges' scores and find out which act they hated the least."
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"Hold everything!"
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"Mrs. Garrison, if you don't mind, I'll be taking that microphone.."
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"Wow, what a terrific audience."
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"So apparently it's been exactly two years since the fall of Baghdad."
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"Have you seen this? Have you heard about this?"
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"Just as B-Bush predicted, Baghdad fell, Iraq fell, Saddam fell."
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"The only thing that didn't fall was ...the price of gas."
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"I just read in the paper that China's protesting Japan."
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"Have you seen this? Have you heard about this?"
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"Yeah, I guess in China you don't get to-"
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"You've gotta be kidding me."
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