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Clips from Family Guy - A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Bucks (S02E02)

"Look at this, Lois. See, right here. I was voted Most Likely to Succeed."
Family Guy
"Peter, that's not you. That's not even a yearbook, it's a People Magazine."
Family Guy
"Can't we just enjoy the rest of your birthday?"
Family Guy
"Did you forge my name?! Oh, is that backward "S" supposed to be cute?"
Family Guy
"I'm going to crap double for you tonight!"
Family Guy
"Face it, Lois, I'm a nobody. Why can't I be famous like Bob?"
Family Guy
"Then I got on Suddenly Susan, and that was, like, really cool."
Family Guy
"Isn't this great, catching up? Anyway..."
Family Guy
"Don't be depressed, Dad. Here, I made you a present."
Family Guy
"My God! It's... good. Really good."
Family Guy
"It's partly an expression of my teenage angst, but mostly it's a moo-cow."
Family Guy
"I'd sell my soul to be famous!"
Family Guy
"Aw, heck! Where's a lawyer when I need one?"
Family Guy
"Son, I'll put it someplace where everyone can see it."
Family Guy
"Excuse me. I'll give you $1,000 for what you have in the back there."
Family Guy
"No, no, no. I mean that painting. I must have it for my gallery in SoHo."
Family Guy
"I love you, you freakin' son of mine! I got 5,000 bucks for that painting you made me!"
Family Guy
"Don't feel bad, Chris. I didn't even want it. Now we all get a free trip to New York"
Family Guy
"- Monatti? Antonio Monatti? - You've heard of this man?"
Family Guy
"Oh, oh, oh! He's only the biggest art dealer in New York!"
Family Guy
"Lois, our son has been blessed with a great gift,"
Family Guy
"Then I'll use him to live out all my frustrated hopes and dreams,"
Family Guy
"- But that doesn't sound right. - Are you givin' me lip, boy?"
Family Guy
"Hi, this is David Leisure. You probably remember me as the neighbour"
Family Guy
"from TV's "Empty Nest"."
Family Guy
"All right, look. Just buckle up. Can I get my cheque now?"
Family Guy
"Oh, kids, look at that man over there, grabbin' his own crotch. Oh! So alive, this city!"
Family Guy
"- There's a hot-dog cart! - Chris, don't spoil your appetite."
Family Guy
"Not the "ub-ub" kind, the "mm-mm" kind."
Family Guy
"- Welcome to the Big Apple, fella. - Just make sure"
Family Guy
"there's a Wall Street Journal by the changing table."
Family Guy
"Hey, waiter. The name's Peter Griffin."
Family Guy
"And all I gotta do is paint!"
Family Guy
"Hey, you guys have any bellhops that are rats, like the Muppets?"
Family Guy
"Mom, can we go see a Broadway play tonight?"
Family Guy
"Count me out. I'm never going to the theatre with Peter again."
Family Guy
"Remember when you were younger,"
Family Guy
"Uncle Vanya used to spend whole nights translating books for you."
Family Guy
"Uncle Vanya and I worked without rest, afraid to spend a kopeck on ourselves."
Family Guy
"What the hell is this? For cryin' out loud, somebody throw a pie!"
Family Guy
"Screw the theatre. Mr Monatti invited us to a cocktail party so Chris can meet some artists."
Family Guy
"Uh, OK, Tim. Who's your favourite sports star?"
Family Guy
"- Uh, Reggie Jackson. - OK."
Family Guy
"I'll draw him pooping on your chest. What number is he?"
Family Guy
"Welcome. Chris, there are a number of artists here I'd like you to meet."
Family Guy
"Hey, hey, hey. Let's talk turkey, Monatti."
Family Guy
"We've been here all day, and Chris isn't a famous artist yet."
Family Guy
"Creating art takes a lot of training and technique."
Family Guy
"- All the great artists I knew took classes. - Even Walt Disney?"
Family Guy
"Do I... do I have to?"
Family Guy
"You want to be a star, don't you? Then take it off!"
Family Guy
"Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's nice."
Family Guy
"Please, I invited you so that Chris could make an impression on the art community."
Family Guy
"Why not do some sightseeing? If you leave Chris in my hands, the name Griffin"
Family Guy
"- Will be as well-known as Kandinsky. - Who?"
Family Guy
"- Bazooka Joe? - There you go."
Family Guy
"- These things never get 'em completely dry. - Where's Stewie?"
Family Guy
"Hm! Hidden missile silos behind the Great Wall."
Family Guy
"Ancient Chinese secret, huh?"
Family Guy
"You need an image! Let's take this Rhode Island lump of clay"
Family Guy
"- And turn it into the toast of New York! - Ha, ha, ha! I love toast!"
Family Guy
"- Cut it and tint it green, the colour of money. - And boogers!"
Family Guy
"I don't know how you can find anything in this city. It's so confusing."
Family Guy
"Well, I bet if Hillary Clinton becomes senator, she'll straighten it out."
Family Guy
"Even though she couldn't straighten out Bill."
Family Guy
"Hey, Murphy. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, John Sununu."
Family Guy
"They'd rather wander through SoHo, looking for an address that doesn't exist."
Family Guy
"Ha, ha, ha! That's my dad! Well, maybe tomorrow, we could all..."
Family Guy
"- Kate, this is my new discovery, Christobel. - My name's Chris."
Family Guy
"Whoops! A crack in the floor."
Family Guy
"Wow! I can't wait to tell my dad."
Family Guy
"Yes. I know how important your success is to your father."
Family Guy
"That's why he'll understand that you can never see him again."
Family Guy
"Whaaaat?"
Family Guy
"All right, Dad! I... Oh."
Family Guy
"And apparently, I'm dating Kate Moss."
Family Guy
"I made you! And I can destroy you!"
Family Guy
"Damn, they musta put it in the wrong baby."
Family Guy
"I can't believe Chris. If I hadn't used his painting to patch that window,"
Family Guy
"- He'd still be in that dump in Quahog. - That "dump" is our home."
Family Guy
"- Are you so selfish you can't see that? - Yes, I am."
Family Guy
"Peter, your son is using his talents to pursue his dream."
Family Guy
"I have no son. Except for Stewie."
Family Guy
"- And Meg! - Aah!"
Family Guy
"Meg Griffin"
Family Guy
"Not much you can do"
Family Guy
"Meg Griffin"
Family Guy
"You can't dance, you can't sing"
Family Guy
"No, you pretty much can't do a thing"
Family Guy
"Honey, you're gonna make our name famous"
Family Guy
"I'll be proud you fell out of my wife"
Family Guy
"Like that princess who died"
Family Guy
"Honey, I'm gonna do this for you"
Family Guy
"Fine. If Chris doesn't need me, I don't need him."
Family Guy
"Everybody's good at somethin'. It's just a matter of findin' the special hidden talent."
Family Guy
"- That's amazing! - Oh, thanks."
Family Guy
"I roomed with Scott Hamilton at prep school."
Family Guy
"Yeah? Well, what d'you want?"
Family Guy
"I don't fly, you know. I take the subway like everybody else."
Family Guy
"Oh, and people don't stare. You make me puke. Bitch."
Family Guy
"All you have to do is paint. Now get busy!"
Family Guy
"Oh, jeez. Kate, what should I do?"
Family Guy
"No, I don't. I quit."
Family Guy
"Hey! Hey! Don't you start runnin'!"
Family Guy
"Wait! Meg! Meg, get off that bus."
Family Guy
"- Well, thank God that's over. - Yeah."
Family Guy
"Of course! We wouldn't miss your big day."
Family Guy
"Wait a second. I don't see any strippers passing out free tacos. Lois, you lied to me!"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! Are you Kate Moss?"
Family Guy
"Oh, for someone with no breasts, you've done very well for yourself. Good for you!"
Family Guy
"But in the new millennium, there is only Christobel!"
Family Guy
"He's the whole reason I'm here."
Family Guy
"I guess I was wrong about you. You're no artist. You're just a no-talent punk."
Family Guy
"Now hold on a second. You can talk to my daughter that way, but not my son."
Family Guy
"All right. Well, here's a little something in return."
Family Guy
"And I'm sorry I have no talent."
Family Guy
"Ah, that's OK, kids. So I don't have my name on an amusement park,"
Family Guy
"and maybe I'll never be famous."
Family Guy
"That's right. I guess when it comes right down to it, you're a pretty lucky..."
Family Guy
"Oh, my sentiments exactly."
Family Guy
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