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Clips from Family Guy - A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Bucks (S02E02)

"It seems today that all you see"
Family Guy
"But where are those good old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
"On which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
"But the kid in me is suicidal over what a fat bastard I'll become."
Family Guy
"Lois, you invited everyone!"
Family Guy
"Frontsies, backsies, backsies, backsies."
Family Guy
"Ooh! How deliciously evil-Iooking. It's like something out of Stephen King."
Family Guy
"Agh!"
Family Guy
"You've caused nothing but trouble."
Family Guy
"Perhaps we should just continue the party at some other type of location."
Family Guy
"Uh... Uh..."
Family Guy
"No, you're not. I am. And you know nothing of my work."
Family Guy
"Let me see that!"
Family Guy
"Or my cousin, Kathy Griffin?"
Family Guy
"I still do stand-up, people laugh and give me money, that's also cool."
Family Guy
"- She's still talking. - I don't get it. I poured it in her drink."
Family Guy
"It's lovely, Chris. Go ahead, Peter, make a wish."
Family Guy
"Ooh, sorry, chief. Seems he already sold his soul in 1976 for Bee Gees tickets."
Family Guy
"Don't forget this. Maybe you could hang it in your office."
Family Guy
"$1,000 for a bumper sticker?"
Family Guy
"But I painted that just for you."
Family Guy
"cos Mr Monatti thinks you could be a famous artist."
Family Guy
"and I'm gonna do everything I can to nurture that talent and help him succeed."
Family Guy
"because that's good parenting, right, Bing Crosby?"
Family Guy
"you can beat 'em with a sack of sweet Valencia oranges."
Family Guy
"They won't leave a bruise, and they'll let 'em know who's boss. There's no doubt about it."
Family Guy
"I'll take this belt off and put the smack-down on you. Is that what you want? Huh?"
Family Guy
"- Like that, huh? - Get away from me, you dead crooner."
Family Guy
"Oh, come on! Those were really popular. They ran all the time."
Family Guy
"- Look! Central Park! - There's the Empire State Building!"
Family Guy
"New York has some of the best restaurants in the world. They even have Indian food here."
Family Guy
"It's at the Museum of Modern Art. Oh, God. I hope that's not some kind of museum."
Family Guy
"- Mapplethorpe? Not just photography? - Oh, no. Early on he did caricatures."
Family Guy
"Art school? We don't have that kind of time. Chris, give me your ear."
Family Guy
"- Peter! - Mr Griffin, please."
Family Guy
"- Da Vinci? - Who?"
Family Guy
"Ah, the United Nations! Oh, I wish Chris could see this."
Family Guy
"Isn't it inspiring how so many different cultures can come together?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, and use up all the towels in the men's room."
Family Guy
"- Peter! - Sorry."
Family Guy
"Trust me, painting is the least important thing about being a successful artist."
Family Guy
"I feel we've been walkin' in circles."
Family Guy
"Ha, ha, ha! I love when you use topical humour."
Family Guy
"Murphy. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Tipper Gore."
Family Guy
"Shouldn't my mom and dad be here by now?"
Family Guy
"- Oh, there's Kate Moss. - Where? I don't see her."
Family Guy
"Not any more. Christobel will look better in Interview magazine."
Family Guy
"Nice to meet you. I love artists."
Family Guy
"- Lois. Gimme a penny, - You're not gonna throw it over the edge?"
Family Guy
"I've just scheduled your first exhibit!"
Family Guy
"Yeah. Of course he will. Dad's very..."
Family Guy
"Your father is, uh... How can I say this without upsetting you?"
Family Guy
"So, you see, it's up to you, son. If you don't wanna disappoint your father, keep him away."
Family Guy
"There's my boy! Hey, come on, Chris. Let's go to Barneys and fart in the suits."
Family Guy
"- I mean, uh... I can't see you any more. - What are you talkin' about? You're my son."
Family Guy
"Oh, and, um, don't say anything bad about her, cos she might be here right now."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute! You can't... you can't just push me aside."
Family Guy
""Dump"? Oh, so now you're too good for us, too?"
Family Guy
"This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for Chris, not you."
Family Guy
"I had a dream"
Family Guy
"It's all about you"
Family Guy
"Never fear, Daddy's here"
Family Guy
"Wait and see"
Family Guy
"But it's really for meee..."
Family Guy
"...eeee!"
Family Guy
"You'll love being famous, Meg, and this is the town to do it in."
Family Guy
"I don't know, Dad. What am I gonna do?"
Family Guy
"Oh. No, those are just my bird calls."
Family Guy
"Oh, no, no. I wasn't calling you."
Family Guy
"Oh, oh, this is funny to you? Yeah?"
Family Guy
"You know what a pain in the ass it is to get across town, this time of day? Huh?"
Family Guy
"Mr Monatti, I don't feel like painting. I wanna see my dad."
Family Guy
"Listen, Christobel. I've sunk $5,000 turning you into a New York bohemian."
Family Guy
"I don't know. You're the flavour of the month. Oops! Window open."
Family Guy
"- I'm goin' over there. I'm gonna... - No, no."
Family Guy
"This is humiliating!"
Family Guy
"It's show business, baby. You gotta start somewhere."
Family Guy
"Now, wait just a minute, young lady. Don't you walk away from me."
Family Guy
"Don't... don't you go to LaGuardia!"
Family Guy
"Don't shell out five bucks for headphones for Magnolia. OK. Now, I'm pissed."
Family Guy
"- I've never been to the Empire State Building. - Boy, we're a pair."
Family Guy
"- Aren't we? - Unbelievable. Let's go."
Family Guy
"- Chris! - Hey! You guys made it!"
Family Guy
"- Is Dad mad at me? - Oh, he just doesn't understand."
Family Guy
"Ladies and gentlemen, I apologise for these eyesores."
Family Guy
"Well, Bob Funland may have his name on the sign, but only a Griffin has this."
Family Guy
"Mm, baby! I'm gonna sex you up, baby."
Family Guy
"Where's Brian? Breakfast is getting cold."
Family Guy
"In tonight's episode, the part of Brian the dog will be played by Carter Banks."
Family Guy
"- Sorry, I overslept. - Yes, well, do you want breakfast?"
Family Guy
"Well, I'm... I'm sure you have something to say to that, hm?"
Family Guy
"Oh. Oh, God, sorry. Can you give me the line again? Not the whole line, just the end of it."
Family Guy
"God, as soon as my movie deal kicks in, I am such a ghost!"
Family Guy
"Peter, take off your blindfold. We're almost there."
Family Guy
"Not yet. I don't wanna ruin my birthday surprise."
Family Guy
"Then at least let me drive!"
Family Guy
"You know it's illegal for women to drive."
Family Guy
"A woman driving! That's adorable."
Family Guy
"Peter, I don't think... Peter, please, I'm begging you, stop the car!"
Family Guy
"Oh, we're here. Thank God."
Family Guy
"Bob's Funland and Putt Putt Golf! The grown-up in me likes the prospect of fun."
Family Guy
"- Who are you? - The guy whose car you just slammed into!"
Family Guy
"Excuse me, excuse me. My friend is differently-abled. May he go ahead of you?"
Family Guy
"Well, hello! You must be this beautiful to ride the Quagmire."
Family Guy
"Your father! Sometimes I don't think he'll be happy until he's completely paralysed."
Family Guy
"OK, for my 307th book,"
Family Guy
"uh, this couple is attacked by a... a..."
Family Guy
"You're not even trying any more, are you?"
Family Guy
"When can I have it?"
Family Guy
"A lot."
Family Guy
"A 10-gauge. I've never handled one of these before."
Family Guy
"Oh, dang. Now I hate windmills even more."
Family Guy
"Let me give you a tip, pally. The shortest distance between two points"
Family Guy
"is the full-body-English high-arcing rainbow shot."
Family Guy
"No, no, no, wait. I know this guy. We went to high school together."
Family Guy
"- We did? - Yeah."
Family Guy
"He was a loser then, and he's a loser now."
Family Guy
"Oh, we used to kid this guy all the time."
Family Guy
"That's me. I'm Bob Funland."
Family Guy
"I'm Neptune, god of the sea! I sink ships and conjure up storms!"
Family Guy
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