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Clips from Frasier - Space Quest (S01E01)

"Oh, here it is."
Frasier
"Let me get out of your way."
Frasier
"Doc, I heard what you said to that kid who fantasises about killing his parents."
Frasier
"You know what I'd have told him?"
Frasier
"Sports. You go out there, break some heads."
Frasier
"That'll turn him around."
Frasier
"If only Jeffrey Dahmer had picked up a squash racket."
Frasier
"Where's my Lasorda tape? This is total..!"
Frasier
"Got it."
Frasier
"Hold on, I have to ask you something."
Frasier
"Gary? I broke up with him three weeks ago."
Frasier
"- Maybe... - No. He wasn't bad in bed."
Frasier
"- You talk to your mother like that? - We talk about everything."
Frasier
"- Isn't that healthy! - You don't talk to your dad like that?"
Frasier
"- Hardly. We hardly speak at all. - Really?"
Frasier
"In fact, my brother and l are a lot more like my mother."
Frasier
"- Sweetcakes, you seen my engineer? - Someone's talking to you, Frasier."
Frasier
"- Come on! - He called. He'll be right here."
Frasier
"Go someplace where my father,"
Frasier
"Mary Poppins and the hound from hell can't find me."
Frasier
"Hello."
Frasier
"Hello?"
Frasier
"Dad?"
Frasier
"♪ Toreador, don't spit on the floor"
Frasier
"Ah, Dr Crane, you're home."
Frasier
"We're back from your father's physical therapy."
Frasier
"Not that I'm not delighted to see you,"
Frasier
"and brew you a nice pot of tea?"
Frasier
"- No, I've just poured a glass of wine. - I see."
Frasier
"- What are you reading? - You wouldn't find it interesting."
Frasier
"I haven't formed an opinion yet."
Frasier
"Oddly enough, I'm having trouble getting into it."
Frasier
"Thick."
Frasier
"Dad... Listen. I don't want to offend."
Frasier
"But if you wouldn't mind, could you just let me read my book?"
Frasier
"- What are you doing? - Leaving you alone."
Frasier
"Forgive me."
Frasier
"- Perhaps only evenings. - I heard that!"
Frasier
"You're never out of earshot!"
Frasier
"Oh, what fresh hell is this?"
Frasier
"That's a nice way to greet your brother. Cafelatte, per piacere."
Frasier
"I'm sorry, Niles, I'm trying to read."
Frasier
""The Holotropic Mind" by Stanislav Grof."
Frasier
"induces alternate states of consciousness."
Frasier
"How's Father?"
Frasier
"You mean the man who's driving me crazy."
Frasier
"Niles, I don't know what I'm going to do. Dad and I had another fight."
Frasier
"I'm afraid if we stay under the same roof"
Frasier
"What are the alternatives?"
Frasier
"It hasn't been that long. Give it a chance."
Frasier
"I still do, but he makes it impossible."
Frasier
"So you want to be closer to Dad, but you don't actually want him around."
Frasier
"Ask yourself, have you tried to sit down talk to him? I mean really talk to him?"
Frasier
"I guess I owe that to the old man, don't l?"
Frasier
"and a credit to the psychiatric profession."
Frasier
"My leather chair, my Tisami lamp."
Frasier
"Thanks, but I'm not."
Frasier
"Dad..."
Frasier
"I'm sorry about the blow-up earlier."
Frasier
"There's been a lot of tension between us."
Frasier
"We never have a chance to sit and talk."
Frasier
"I thought we might have a conversation."
Frasier
"Right now?"
Frasier
"It shouldn't be a long conversation. I'm talking three minutes of your life."
Frasier
"If it will make you any happier I'll get the egg timer and I'll set it for three minutes."
Frasier
"- Go. - This is stupid."
Frasier
"One second? That's our personal best?"
Frasier
"Let us see if we can beat it."
Frasier
"Go."
Frasier
"Ready?"
Frasier
"Go."
Frasier
"All right. I'll tell you something about myself that you don't know."
Frasier
"Six months ago, when Lilith and l were really on the rocks..."
Frasier
"...there was a time of depression I went through that was so terrible..."
Frasier
"...that I actually climbed out on a ledge and wondered if life was worth living."
Frasier
"Good, Dad."
Frasier
"we don't know about each other, something vulnerable."
Frasier
"Your turn."
Frasier
"About two months ago"
Frasier
"I was going through old pictures of your mother and me."
Frasier
"All of a sudden, something flew up in my eye."
Frasier
"When I was trying to get it out,"
Frasier
"- That's it? You call that vulnerable? - It hurt!"
Frasier
"I'm not talking about that kind of pain."
Frasier
"I'm talking about your emotions, your soul."
Frasier
"A painful, gut-wrenching experience."
Frasier
"- Other than this one? - Always a flip answer."
Frasier
"- This whole thing's stupid. - Not to me."
Frasier
"stubborn, cold man I've ever known."
Frasier
"- You said "cold" twice, Mr Egghead. - Egghead! Egghead!"
Frasier
"Know what you are?"
Frasier
"I'll tell you later."
Frasier
"We're not getting along and it's not getting any better."
Frasier
"I know. You want what's best for both of us. You want to get me out of here."
Frasier
"We'll each have our own space and can put an end to all this bickering."
Frasier
"- Except for one thing. I'm not going. - What?"
Frasier
"You want us to forge some great father-son relationship,"
Frasier
"That takes a couple of years, doesn't it? You're the shrink."
Frasier
"- A couple of years? - It'll go by before you know it."
Frasier
"Either that, or it'll seem like eternity."
Frasier
"Wow! In all these years you've never asked me that."
Frasier
"♪ Hey baby, I hear the blues a-calling Tossed salads and scrambled eggs"
Frasier
"♪ Mercy!"
Frasier
"I see why you'd want him to live here."
Frasier
"Now my coffee."
Frasier
"- Good morning to you too. - Morning was two hours ago."
Frasier
"Now, sit down. Breakfast is ready."
Frasier
"I can almost hear my left ventricle slamming shut as I speak."
Frasier
"or anything else one picks out of the garbage."
Frasier
"so do the many listeners that rely on my advice to help them in their lives."
Frasier
"but I've grown comfortable with this part of myself."
Frasier
"Well, you do make quite a picture in the morning."
Frasier
"I'm talking to the dog."
Frasier
"Our topic today is intrusion,"
Frasier
"Now let's return to our calls."
Frasier
"'lf I went to the mall I'd break out in a cold sweat and have to run home.'"
Frasier
"It sounds like you may have a serious condition known as agoraphobia."
Frasier
"(Blows whistle)"
Frasier
"Someone stole my tape! This is total BS!"
Frasier
"I'd swear Dad was left in a basket on our doorstep."
Frasier
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