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Clips from South Park - HUMANCENTiPAD (S15E15)

"including but not limited to"
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"your favorite movies, songs, and books?"
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"Do you agree to care about your membership"
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"and prove that you care by purchasing AppleCare?"
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"Sir, sir, we have a problem!"
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"What do you mean we have to take it apart?"
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"The boy's agreement isn't valid?"
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"Sorry, we have to recall this."
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"What? Hey, that's mine!"
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"I don't care what the geniuses say!"
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"We are all trying to create the future!"
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"I'm part of the future now too."
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"I have sat with the council of geniuses,"
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"Mr. Jobs, you have done so much for the world."
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"Clearly, this is the future."
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"But-but can't we just slow down"
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"and enjoy the present"
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"You know something?"
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"Come on, we'll get you separated, little boy."
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"Guess you won't be eating Japanese food for a while, huh?"
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"Hey!"
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"Why did you do this to me, God?"
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"Next time you're gonna get my hopes up,"
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"could you please take me to a grease monkey?"
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"'Cause I like to get lubed up before I get fucked!"
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"Huh? Some lube would be nice!"
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"next time You decide to fuck me?"
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"Oh, what should I do on my iPad next?"
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"Tom Saltzman says you don't really have an iPad."
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"What?"
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"Tom Saltzman says you just glued a piece of glass"
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"Let me see your iPad, Cartman."
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"Tom Saltzman's dad is a drunk driver!"
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"He's the one who ran over Joey Potts' dog"
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"because Joey Potts doesn't know how to take care of his animals,"
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"which is why he gets beat by his mom."
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"Just let us see your iPad, Cartman."
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"No, because the battery's dead."
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"It just ran out of power."
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"Fine!"
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"I'm gonna go home and charge my iPad and bring it tomorrow,"
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"What happened, Eric?"
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"so the one I rubbed in everyone's faces today"
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"Would you mind loaning me some of your lipstick, Mom?"
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"Because I want to at least look pretty"
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"the next time you decide to fuck me!"
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"You see?"
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"And then I can take all my homework on my iPad"
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"and swipe it over to my iPhone."
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"Uh, yeah, Apple stuff is pretty neat, all right."
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"Aw, that's just a rumor. They don't really track you."
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"Here he is!"
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"Hello, Kyle. We're from Apple."
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"We're all ready for you now."
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"What? Ready for what?"
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"To fulfill the agreement."
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"- 83 pounds, sir. - What agreement?"
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"You agreed we could take all the blood we needed."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"a window on your screen popped up"
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"and asked you if you agreed to our terms and conditions."
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"You clicked "Agree.""
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"The water tank? I'm not going with you!"
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"Hey!"
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"You guys! You got to help me!"
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"for the last update say?"
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"I don't know. I didn't read them."
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"You didn't read them?"
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"- I do. - Me too."
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"you guys download an update for iTunes,"
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"you read the entire terms and conditions?"
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"Of course."
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"if you don't have your stuff on, right?"
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"There he is! Hey, you!"
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"Dad, I need a lawyer!"
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"Well, Kyle, it's always"
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"the agreeing party's responsibility"
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"But it's, like, eight pages long,"
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"- How can they know if I- - Calm down, Kyle."
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"It's okay. You're safe with Daddy."
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"Come on, you!"
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"Hey, what the heck is going on?"
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"Your son has made a binding"
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"and legal agreement with Apple, sir."
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"An agreement to do what?"
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"Apple's inner workings are top secret to all users."
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"You know how it is."
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"You what?"
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"You said we could."
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"Okay, Wi-Fi plus 3G, 64 gig."
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"I can't wait to see the look on Kyle's stupid face"
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"when he sees my iPad has more memory than his."
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"Well, you don't expect me to get the Wi-Fi only"
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"Mom, everyone knows"
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"Here, look at this one."
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"Toshiba Handibook?"
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"Mom, do not screw me over again!"
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"If I take that thing to school,"
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"Eric, stop acting like a spoiled brat."
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"You can either have the Toshiba Handibook,"
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"or you can have nothing at all."
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"Oh, I've got a better idea."
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"if you're gonna fuck me, Mom."
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"Eric!"
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"because I like to have a smoke"
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"after I get good and fucked."
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"You want to fuck me, Mom? Just say so!"
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"Huh? Go ahead, Mom. Fuck me!"
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"You want to fuck your son so bad?"
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"Stop crying, Eric."
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"I told you if you kept acting up,"
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"you weren't getting anything."
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"But I told you I was sorry."
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"You made me look like some sort of child molester"
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"in front of all those people!"
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"and say, "Help, help!"
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"My mom is trying to fuck me"?"
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"Oh, wait. I get it now."
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"The F word is a no-no word,"
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"I'm sorry, Mama."
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