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Clips from Friends - The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath (S08E08)

"Fine, I did, but I didn't see anything."
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"Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!"
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"- But I didn't... - Don't tell me! I don't wanna know!"
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"I couldn't, because I don't know!"
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"I swear I didn't see anything! It was just a momentary lapse."
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""Momentary lapse." Don't you have any self-control?"
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"Okay. A couple months late on the lecture, Ross."
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"Hello?"
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"CHANDLER: Can you come in here? There's something wrong."
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"CHANDLER: I'm in the bathtub. - Oh."
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"- What's wrong? - I drew a bath, but I did it wrong."
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"The water's tepid, the salt didn't dissolve and is now lodged places."
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"And the scents I used don't compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomile? Oh!"
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"- What? - Bath salts."
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"It's different. It's interesting."
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"Let's talk about something else."
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"Yeah. Sure. So, what was going on with you today?"
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"I actually had the weirdest conversation with Joey."
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"- I had the same conversation. - What was he talking about?"
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"He hasn't had this much trouble getting out words since he was in Macbeth."
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"- That was a long night. - What exactly did he say to you?"
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"He was talking about rules and looking at people differently."
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"- Not to me. - What'd he tell you?"
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"He asked about you, me and London."
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"And the glue that holds this all together, the rules."
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"Okay. So you, me and London."
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"Looking at people differently."
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"Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London."
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"But what'd he mean by "rules"?"
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"Wait. He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in."
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"- He's looking at her differently. - Phoebe is his friend."
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"That'd be breaking the rules."
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"My God, he wants to do it with Phoebe in London!"
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"PHOEBE: You guys? - Um, just a minute!"
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"- That's Mrs. Tribbiani. - You don't say anything."
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"Why would I? That two of our friends could start a great love affair?"
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"They'd have me to thank. Then we could all start having babies!"
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"- I won't let you say anything. - Stay here."
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"Oh, God!"
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"Oh. I brought back your iron."
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"You had that? I thought I lost it. I got a new one a month ago."
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"Oh, just as well. I broke this one."
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"- What? - Nothing."
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"Okay."
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"I really shouldn't say. I'm really not supposed to."
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"Fine."
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"- It's a humdinger. - Too bad you can't tell me."
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"Somebody likes you!"
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"- Ugh. Is it Chandler? - No!"
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"- Then tell him to stop staring. - It's Joey."
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"Really? Joey? You don't say."
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"- Would you be interested? - I don't know, I don't know."
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"You know, I mean, on the one hand, "Mother, may I?""
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"But, you know, on the other hand..."
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"No. No, I can't. We're friends."
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"Oh, no. I don't wanna risk what we have."
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"I guess that makes sense. You think you're gonna talk to him?"
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"Sure. I mean, it's Joey. I don't want him to get hurt."
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"Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey."
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"You know what? I'm coming around on the name Ruth."
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"I'd consider naming our child that."
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"Rach, I can't tell you how much that means to me. Oh..."
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"Wait a minute. Wait a minute."
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"You hated the name Ruth. Why would you change your mind?"
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"Unless you know we're never gonna have to use it."
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"You did see. You know it's a boy!"
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"I didn't see anything. I changed my mind."
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"I don't think so. You're giving me Ruth..."
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"...so you get to name him when it's a boy."
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"That's when you'll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia."
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"I would... Sequoia!"
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"- Veto. - Fine."
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"Unless you anticipated that I would figure all this out..."
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"...and you know that it actually is a girl."
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"Well, I'm not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!"
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"- But, Ross, you want the name Ruth. - Not like this!"
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"- Hey. - Hey. What's up?"
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"- I know. - What?"
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"- I know about your feelings. - Oh, my God, you do?"
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"I'm sorry. Things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but that's rare."
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"I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for them."
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"I mean, it's Rachel, for God's sakes."
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"For God's sakes, it's Rachel!"
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"I know! She's not only my friend, she's my pregnant friend."
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"She's my pregnant friend who's Ross' ex!"
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"Yeah, that's Rachel. Beat me over the head with it."
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"What am I gonna do? I keep trying to get rid of these feelings."
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"I made a list of everything I don't like about her."
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"- You wanna hear it? - Yeah."
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"You know what? Tastes the same and my pants fit better."
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"Joey, you're getting upset for nothing."
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"- This is probably just a crush. - You think?"
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"Absolutely. You get this rush of feelings, but it goes away."
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"Yeah, just a crush. That's all this is. It's a crush!"
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"I'm Joey. I don't get deep feelings."
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"I've had them for all you guys. Except for Ross and Chandler."
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"- And I'm sure you've had them for us. - Not really."
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"Throw me a bone here."
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"- Now we both know the sex of the baby. - What?"
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"That's right. The student has become the master."
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"- Ross, I swear. I don't know. - Oh, come on, you know it's a girl."
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"- A what? - You really didn't know?"
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"- We're having a girl? - No."
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"- That's what you said. - No."
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"Sometimes I can't believe it's with you, but still, we're having a girl!"
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"Yes, we'll have ourselves a little baby Ruth."
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"- Hey. - Do I smell essential oils?"
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"I'm gonna take a bath. I was gonna get a magazine."
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"Okay."
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"What do you think you're doing?"
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"Leaving my troubles behind?"
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"You're new at this, but this is unacceptable bath decorum."
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"It's so hard to care when you're this relaxed."
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"You can have the bath, but I am taking your boat."
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"Now you're just a girl in a tub."
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"- Hey! - Hi, bubbles. Manly."
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"- You told her? - She pulled it out of me!"
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"She's like a conversational wizard! How did it go?"
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"- You were wrong. He doesn't like me. - What?"
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"How would you like it if I told you that Lee Majors liked you..."
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