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Clips from American Dad! - Cops & Roger (S05E05)

"No, he was right. I am weak."
American Dad!
"I'm not even fit to wear man clothes!"
American Dad!
"Good-bye, Vince Monaco, legendary firehouse prankster."
American Dad!
"Your days of putting condoms in lasagna are over."
American Dad!
"- Sweetie, I don't blame you for what happened. - Well, you should."
American Dad!
"I'm just a silly little hen, and everybody knows it."
American Dad!
"You were complicated, did not respond well to the word "no.""
American Dad!
"[Knocking]"
American Dad!
"Reginald, hey! I thought the C. I.A. Sent you on a mission to Afghanistan."
American Dad!
"Nah. Not enough people signed up, so they canceled it."
American Dad!
"If it's okay, I'm gonna do a couple loads."
American Dad!
"Dryer in my building is too rough on my delicates."
American Dad!
"Hey, you know, that sounds like a song."
American Dad!
"# Don't be rough on my delicates #"
American Dad!
"[Chuckling] Anyway."
American Dad!
"Listen, Reginald, I never had a chance to say I'm sorry..."
American Dad!
"for trying to kiss you the other night."
American Dad!
"Girl, don't even sweat it. That was the liquor talkin'."
American Dad!
"[Chuckles] So, how are things with Rhonda?"
American Dad!
"Oh, she's good. Yeah. She just leased a Ford Focus. She's good."
American Dad!
"Hey, well, I'm still seeing lan."
American Dad!
"The four of us should go on a double date sometime."
American Dad!
"Oh, we should go to Houlihan's."
American Dad!
"They got good drinks there- daiquiris, margaritas."
American Dad!
"And you can take the glass home and do whatever you want with it!"
American Dad!
"They don't care! It's your glass!"
American Dad!
"Okay."
American Dad!
"Francine got mugged, and I just sat there."
American Dad!
"I was useless and pathetic and weak."
American Dad!
"How do you live with yourself when you feel that way?"
American Dad!
"- I guess most people just- - No, I'm talking about you specifically."
American Dad!
"Now I have to take a long Rollerblade and sweat out your poison."
American Dad!
"No way! Hoosiers!"
American Dad!
"Oh, damn. It's on TNT. Commercials."
American Dad!
"If that's the price I gotta pay to watch a basketball movie without any blacks in it."
American Dad!
"Join a tradition of strength, honor and bravery."
American Dad!
"We're looking for you."
American Dad!
"I know, I should have put my blades on outside."
American Dad!
"You love this, don't you? You're loving this."
American Dad!
"You are a stone-cold bastard."
American Dad!
"Ta-da! I joined the police academy."
American Dad!
"They're gonna teach me how to be strong and tough like a real man!"
American Dad!
"Put your hands on your fanny! You have the right to remain horny!"
American Dad!
"[Laughs]"
American Dad!
"That was a joke, an excellent joke. But I'm serious about this."
American Dad!
"- You look ridiculous. - Oh, do I?"
American Dad!
"Once upon a time, there was a little alien who went to the police academy."
American Dad!
"## [Roger Humming Theme From Charlie's Angels]"
American Dad!
"- [Frannie Screams] - [Roger] Had to blow up the kitchen, Frannie."
American Dad!
"It goes real well with this thing I'm imagining."
American Dad!
"You joined the police academy, Roger?"
American Dad!
"- Sounds pretty bad-ass. - Steve, language!"
American Dad!
"Shut the fuck up, Frannie. The boy's expressing himself."
American Dad!
"Steve, it's extremely bad-ass."
American Dad!
"I am never gonna get pushed around again!"
American Dad!
"Ha! You'll never make it, Roger."
American Dad!
"Hey, you know how many Police Academy movies I watched to prepare for this?"
American Dad!
"None! 'Cause I knew I'd pick up some bad habits."
American Dad!
"My piece!"
American Dad!
"[Sighs] What a day, huh?"
American Dad!
"What about you? How are you holding up?"
American Dad!
"Lucas, how'd you do?"
American Dad!
"Maybe order in a pizza and a two-liter?"
American Dad!
"What do you like, Sprite? I sure do."
American Dad!
"What? No way!"
American Dad!
"Are these questions not about Sex and the City?"
American Dad!
"I'm so glad lan and I could finally get together with you guys and do this."
American Dad!
"I am starving."
American Dad!
"Hope you don't order finger foods."
American Dad!
"[Chuckling]"
American Dad!
"- I'm gonna try the meatballs. - Huh?"
American Dad!
"Did you bring your Zantac?"
American Dad!
"What? They can't know? It's acid reflux."
American Dad!
"I mean, you don't take that pill, they're gonna find out soon enough."
American Dad!
"- [Clattering, Thumping] - What the hell?"
American Dad!
"[Grunting]"
American Dad!
"[Groaning]"
American Dad!
"Not everyone's cut out to be a cop."
American Dad!
"- You need to give up. - No!"
American Dad!
"[Farting, Crying]"
American Dad!
"[Farts] There's another one."
American Dad!
"Why are you doing this to yourself?"
American Dad!
"- Because I want to be like you! - What?"
American Dad!
"You're the strongest, bravest, most honorable guy I know."
American Dad!
"If you had been in that parking lot, you would have kicked that mugger's ass!"
American Dad!
"He humiliated me. I'm tired of being weak!"
American Dad!
"I've been waiting to hear those words for a long time."
American Dad!
"It's a support tank. It's too small."
American Dad!
"Really? Oh, Stan, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
American Dad!
"[Kissing]"
American Dad!
"Hello!"
American Dad!
"- ##[Movie: Piano] - I'm gonna go get some candy."
American Dad!
"I have to pee."
American Dad!
"- Sorry. - Sorry."
American Dad!
"[Movie: Woman] I know. But we both have someone else."
American Dad!
"- [Man] They never have to know. - [Woman] But we'll know."
American Dad!
"[Man] Oh, I'm so glad we're doing this!"
American Dad!
"[Groans]"
American Dad!
"Oh."
American Dad!
"Okay, Roger, if you want to make it through the academy..."
American Dad!
"I'd say that's already quite an achievement. [Laughing]"
American Dad!
"# Break the rules Take the heat #"
American Dad!
"# You're at your best when the going gets rough #"
American Dad!
"# You got the power #"
American Dad!
"Cadets of the Langley Falls Police Academy..."
American Dad!
"Wow! You know, when I joined the academy..."
American Dad!
"- Isn't that right, Tito? - What?"
American Dad!
"Where are you, Tito? Where do you go?"
American Dad!
"Anyway, luckily there was one man who believed in me."
American Dad!
"He is my rock. He is my everything."
American Dad!
"[Crowd Cheering, Whistling]"
American Dad!
"[Grunts]"
American Dad!
"- I couldn't have done it without you. - No, kiddo. You earned it."
American Dad!
"I'm so proud of you. Hey, I have a graduation surprise for you."
American Dad!
"- They caught your mugger. - Let's go. I'm gonna knock his teeth out!"
American Dad!
"But he humiliated me! And now I'm strong and brave enough to strike back!"
American Dad!
"Roger, just because you have the tools doesn't mean you can just do whatever you want."
American Dad!
"- You have to respect the law. - Sorry to interrupt."
American Dad!
"Oh, looks like I'm the best-Iooking one in the group."
American Dad!
"Oh. Nope. This guy. Why don't you find another group, handsome?"
American Dad!
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