Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from American Dad! - Cops & Roger (S05E05)

"Roger, I've been watching your progress the past few months."
American Dad!
"Well, you should see me in the shower."
American Dad!
"[Laughing] No, I'm just- Thank you though."
American Dad!
"I overheard you talking to your buddy about a mugger in custody."
American Dad!
"Yeah. He says we have to respect the law and let the legal system run its course."
American Dad!
"Yeah, that's what most people have to do."
American Dad!
"God, I wish I knew what you meant when you said that."
American Dad!
"- Oh, well. See ya. - No, wait! I'll tell you."
American Dad!
"Oh, great. I'm coming back."
American Dad!
"[Horn Blowing]"
American Dad!
"Looks like showtime."
American Dad!
"Roger! What are you doing? You're too green!"
American Dad!
"Get out of there! You're gonna blow this!"
American Dad!
"What do we have here, gentlemen?"
American Dad!
"I'm taking a cut of everything that comes through here."
American Dad!
"- Who are you? - [Car Door Closes]"
American Dad!
"I guess when it comes to hitting people in the head with a baseball bat..."
American Dad!
"I'm..."the natural.""
American Dad!
"Roger's a dirty cop!"
American Dad!
"He's been on the force for three hours!"
American Dad!
"Thanks for ordering me a drink."
American Dad!
"- That's the cream. - That explains why it went down creamy."
American Dad!
"I saw you shake down those guys down at the docks."
American Dad!
"I know you're a dirty cop."
American Dad!
"I don't know what you're talking about."
American Dad!
"Roger, this isn't what I taught you."
American Dad!
"I taught you to be strong and honorable and brave."
American Dad!
"Strong! You don't know what strong is."
American Dad!
"But Chaz and I were."
American Dad!
"Remember me?"
American Dad!
"Let me tell you a little about myself."
American Dad!
"I grew up in a pretty unusual house."
American Dad!
"We were poor, so I had to make fruit juice from a mule."
American Dad!
"That was my first taste of real power, and it felt great."
American Dad!
"Plus, I'm a sociopath, so, you know, all this fits me like a slipper."
American Dad!
"Damn it, Roger, listen to me!"
American Dad!
"No! For the first time in my life, people aren't messing with me!"
American Dad!
"You! Put that tub of mayonnaise in my car."
American Dad!
"I'm gonna make it my girlfriend."
American Dad!
"You're a disgrace!"
American Dad!
"You don't deserve to wear that mustache!"
American Dad!
"I was done with it anyway."
American Dad!
"- [Beeping] - Text from Chaz. I gotta roll."
American Dad!
"- Hey! - [Gasps]"
American Dad!
"# Running hard but I'm still coming to getcha ##"
American Dad!
"- Quiet, whole milk! - [Groans]"
American Dad!
"Well, then, you're gonna have to do something for me."
American Dad!
"Why don't you go ahead and scoot back on your banana seat?"
American Dad!
"That's good. Now spit on the tip of the seat."
American Dad!
"[Whimpering]"
American Dad!
"# If you're happy and you know it clap your hands #"
American Dad!
"# If you're happy and you know it clap your hands ##"
American Dad!
"Not you, Hanukkah!"
American Dad!
"I'm taking a cut of everything that comes through here."
American Dad!
"- [Beeps] - Deputy Director Bullock."
American Dad!
"I have something you'll want to see right away."
American Dad!
"No, it's not- Look, no- I'm-I'm not asking you to guess wh..."
American Dad!
"No, I didn't buy you a belt. You'll see in a minute."
American Dad!
"- You can wait. Sir, stop it. - [Beeps]"
American Dad!
"[Knocks]"
American Dad!
"- More laundry? - No, no."
American Dad!
"So how's Rhonda? I haven't seen you since our double date."
American Dad!
"Actually, me and her broke up."
American Dad!
"Oh, I'm- I'm sorry to hear that."
American Dad!
"You know, me and lan broke up too."
American Dad!
"Damn it, Elvis! Leave us alone!"
American Dad!
"You know what we need to do? Race some go-carts."
American Dad!
"- That sounds like fun. - It's a date then."
American Dad!
"- [Beeps] - Hello, lan?"
American Dad!
"Listen, I want to break up."
American Dad!
"Good work, baby. [Kisses]"
American Dad!
"[Phone Rings]"
American Dad!
""The Chaz singer." What's going on?"
American Dad!
"- We're screwed, Roger! - [Horn Honking]"
American Dad!
"- Which means he's got tape on us! - What?"
American Dad!
"[Sniffing] He's been settin' us up!"
American Dad!
"- [Thudding] - [Dog Whimpers]"
American Dad!
"You stop him before he turns those tapes in. Yahtzee!"
American Dad!
"Before we do anything crazy, let's make sure he has the tape."
American Dad!
"Roger, I have the tape."
American Dad!
"So I'm gonna give you a call back."
American Dad!
"Love you! Oh, he already hung up. He knows though."
American Dad!
"I was standing in Bullock's office holding that tape."
American Dad!
"And at the last minute, I decided not to give it to him."
American Dad!
"Because of this."
American Dad!
"You were a good man..."
American Dad!
"Sometimes real strength is having power..."
American Dad!
"and choosing not to use it."
American Dad!
"I should have just had sex with that mayonnaise."
American Dad!
"Stan!"
American Dad!
"Since you know him, I figure you could do the honors."
American Dad!
"But he already gave me the tape. He didn't turn us in!"
American Dad!
"Then bam- we're going to prison."
American Dad!
"You know what happens to you in prison?"
American Dad!
"I know Kiefer Sutherland quit smoking."
American Dad!
"Do it."
American Dad!
"I guess we all knew it would end up like this."
American Dad!
"- Oh, boy. - I knew you were weak, just like your friend here."
American Dad!
"He's the strongest man I know!"
American Dad!
"- [Grunting] - Where are you goin', princess?"
American Dad!
"Is that your little escape route?"
American Dad!
"[Grunting Continues]"
American Dad!
"Yaah!"
American Dad!
"That was unexpected."
American Dad!
"Good job, Smith. One less dirty cop on the docks."
American Dad!
"- Does that mean more money? - No. Yes. Maybe."
American Dad!
"I don't know. I probably won't follow through."
American Dad!
"You really turned out to be one tough S.O.B."
American Dad!
"So have you heard anything? Is Chaz gonna be okay?"
American Dad!
"Bye! Have a beautiful time."
American Dad!
"Okay, the Langley Falls Shopping Mall Memorial Day sale begins in two hours."
American Dad!
"- Hey! No! Thief! - [Grunting]"
American Dad!
"No, no! No! Oh!"
American Dad!
"Fill it with M&M'S, put a rose up in there."
American Dad!
"Charming. This side of you is charming."
American Dad!
"Stop splashing me!"
American Dad!
"Oh, that's excellent. I probably got an "A" though."
American Dad!
"That's 'cause all you eaten all day is a B.L.T., silly girl."
American Dad!
"Shut up! [Groans]"
American Dad!
"I just prayed they would come from my son, and not an alien in a sports bra."
American Dad!
Show more clips