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Clips from BoJack Horseman - The Shot (S02E02)

"-We can probably do it without you. -This next one's for Seattle."
BoJack Horseman
"Hey, Seattle! Space Needle, Starbucks."
BoJack Horseman
"It's too bad though because I could really bring a lot to this project."
BoJack Horseman
"The more I think about it, Checkers wouldn't even be in the shot."
BoJack Horseman
"-Twist my arm, why don't you? I'll do it. -Okay."
BoJack Horseman
"Finally, we'll need a criminal mastermind."
BoJack Horseman
"Character actress Margo Martindale, you've been a model prisoner."
BoJack Horseman
"But now I'm ready to move on with my life"
BoJack Horseman
"and get back to doing small roles"
BoJack Horseman
"[prison guard] Watch, purse, lipstick,"
BoJack Horseman
"Emmy Award for Best Guest Actress."
BoJack Horseman
"BoJack, I've been out of prison for two minutes."
BoJack Horseman
"But the problem is, the place is crawling with cops."
BoJack Horseman
"They're on high alert"
BoJack Horseman
"because some idiot stole this model last night."
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah, nice work, Todd."
BoJack Horseman
"Look at your big saucer eyes. I can go swimming in them!"
BoJack Horseman
"-Totally. -Now, we need to lose the cops."
BoJack Horseman
"by breaking into the only other place in Yorba Linda of cultural significance:"
BoJack Horseman
"between the tanning salon and the adult bookstore."
BoJack Horseman
"[mimicking siren wails and engine revving]"
BoJack Horseman
"Now, things could get ugly. One of you is very likely to die."
BoJack Horseman
"Well, you are the guy none of us knows that well."
BoJack Horseman
"Alan, you already know too much. You're a part of this now, like it or not."
BoJack Horseman
"-But-- -Hey, you think you could keep it down?"
BoJack Horseman
"I'm reading a script and I'm having trouble focusing,"
BoJack Horseman
"so now my notes are gonna be confusing and vague."
BoJack Horseman
"I know you're having fun with your police cars,"
BoJack Horseman
"I just wish you would have asked before you invited these people over."
BoJack Horseman
"-I live here, too. -You're right. I'm sorry."
BoJack Horseman
"And can you at least let Alan fix the cable before he dies?"
BoJack Horseman
"I can't die. I'm endangered!"
BoJack Horseman
"[Diane] "And the truffle-infused gnocchi was the star dish"
BoJack Horseman
"and the less discerning Staten Islander.""
BoJack Horseman
"When I grow up, I can be food critic for New Yorker?"
BoJack Horseman
"Not everyone can write for The New Yorker,"
BoJack Horseman
"[Sebastian] Diane,"
BoJack Horseman
"I'm concerned you're spending a lot of time with this sickly child."
BoJack Horseman
"Sure, but isn't this why we're here? To help these people?"
BoJack Horseman
"I'm here to help these people."
BoJack Horseman
"so people back home will give money to my foundation."
BoJack Horseman
"Great."
BoJack Horseman
"We're in. It's too late to turn back now."
BoJack Horseman
"One of us isn't going to come out of this alive."
BoJack Horseman
"Why do you all keep saying that?"
BoJack Horseman
"Can't we just all shut up and do this?"
BoJack Horseman
"Why does everything have to be a big, complicated mess?"
BoJack Horseman
"It's simple."
BoJack Horseman
"And serene. And... pleasant."
BoJack Horseman
"I think that the vest makes me look kind of chunky."
BoJack Horseman
"I don't do CrossFit five days a week to not look sweet in this uniform."
BoJack Horseman
"I swear to God, if you don't shut up about CrossFit--"
BoJack Horseman
"[woman over radio] Break-in at the Discount"
BoJack Horseman
"Fine Art Gallery at the strip mall."
BoJack Horseman
"[police sirens wailing]"
BoJack Horseman
"Remember when my character on Mr. Peanutbutter's House was"
BoJack Horseman
"No, I served half a term, then resigned"
BoJack Horseman
"because when Zachary had a bad time with peer pressure,"
BoJack Horseman
"It's like you didn't even watch my show."
BoJack Horseman
"And then you are going to be over here."
BoJack Horseman
"-Playing dead. -Breaking and entering?"
BoJack Horseman
"That is against everything Nixon stood for."
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah? What, another leftist screed about how corrupt he was?"
BoJack Horseman
"-Uh... -Or is it about how he had"
BoJack Horseman
"an illegitimate son,"
BoJack Horseman
"and the son never knew who his dad was, but always had a hunch it was Nixon,"
BoJack Horseman
"The second one?"
BoJack Horseman
"Well, if that's true, how come you don't have an actor here to play Nixon?"
BoJack Horseman
"Because..."
BoJack Horseman
"we couldn't find anyone who could appropriately capture his magic."
BoJack Horseman
"You know, I do a pretty good Nixon."
BoJack Horseman
"You? No way."
BoJack Horseman
"[as Nixon] Hello, I'm Nixon."
BoJack Horseman
"I can't be at your soccer game, but I am your father and I love you very much."
BoJack Horseman
"Uh. Did we get the shot?"
BoJack Horseman
"It's so peaceful."
BoJack Horseman
"Party's over. That's something we say at CrossFit."
BoJack Horseman
"Ugh. Wait a sec-- I know you!"
BoJack Horseman
"You were in Justified. You were amazing."
BoJack Horseman
"Okay, you caught me."
BoJack Horseman
"I am kind of a well-known character actress."
BoJack Horseman
"I am such a huge fan, Miss, uh--"
BoJack Horseman
"What--? What's your name?"
BoJack Horseman
"Sure, of course."
BoJack Horseman
"Everyone loves my work, but apparently not enough"
BoJack Horseman
"to watch the credits and find out what my name is."
BoJack Horseman
"-Aah! -Return fire!"
BoJack Horseman
"Watch out!"
BoJack Horseman
"No, I'm fine. The bullet hit my cell phone."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, no! Alan's cell phone is dead!"
BoJack Horseman
"Nope, phone's fine, too. Oh, hey, I got a text from my wife."
BoJack Horseman
"She's going into labor. Guys, I'm gonna be a dad!"
BoJack Horseman
"-[police sirens wailing] -[guns cocking]"
BoJack Horseman
"[cop] Shoot!"
BoJack Horseman
"Vanessa Gekko. How did you get in this painting?"
BoJack Horseman
"In your infinite generosity, you gave me this job"
BoJack Horseman
"when it became clear that I don't have what it takes"
BoJack Horseman
"to be a "Hollywoo" power-agent."
BoJack Horseman
"Also, my husband left me."
BoJack Horseman
"And my children married each other in an unholy incestuous union."
BoJack Horseman
"[Diane] The second thing you notice about Sebastian St. Clair"
BoJack Horseman
"And on that wall is a painting of me posing for the statue."
BoJack Horseman
"-Put a chapter in your book about that. -Uh-huh."
BoJack Horseman
"[Diane] The only respite from his constant bombast is sleep,"
BoJack Horseman
"-[Diane gasps] -[people scream nearby]"
BoJack Horseman
"Jesus, you don't care about any of these people."
BoJack Horseman
"You're just using them as props for your big-shot superhero act."
BoJack Horseman
"Diane, the dead will not benefit from our grief,"
BoJack Horseman
"This is too much."
BoJack Horseman
"-But if you can't, you can go home. -I..."
BoJack Horseman
"I can handle it."
BoJack Horseman
"Hey, um, how come Nixon gets a line and I don't get a line?"
BoJack Horseman
"We only need the one-shot of me."
BoJack Horseman
"I just think if he gets a line, I should get a line."
BoJack Horseman
"-Ugh. Actors. -Okay, positions everyone. And... action."
BoJack Horseman
"[as Nixon] I'm Nixon."
BoJack Horseman
"The way you're feeling about your dead brother is how I feel"
BoJack Horseman
"you've been told that your brother, Jeffretariat,"
BoJack Horseman
"And the tears start to flow."
BoJack Horseman
"Well, you need to. This is the emotional climax of the movie."
BoJack Horseman
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