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Clips from Night Court - Santa Goes Downtown (S01E01)

"They might believe in something. That'd be a start."
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"And it'd make a sick, old man happy."
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"Come on, judge. Just to see the look on their faces would be worth it."
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"Oh, come on, Harry. It'll be so cute."
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"Cute? Gee willikers, I'm all for it."
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"Here you go, Your Honor."
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"I told you I was just kidding about that."
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"We thought we'd give you kids another chance..."
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"...to give us your full names and tell us where you live."
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"No way."
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"Like we said, our parents couldn't care less where we are."
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"That's not true..."
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"- How did you know my name? - A lot of things I know about you."
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"...Art and Celeste..."
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"...miss you very much and want you back home."
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"- You told him. - I did not."
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"She didn't say a word, Eddie Simms."
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"- You know who I am? - 3rd and 84th, apartment 6C."
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"That Eddie Simms."
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"Yeah. Well, if you know that, then you know the people who live there..."
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"...and call themselves my parents don't give a damn if I come home or not."
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"Eddie, I know it appears that way right now, but believe me..."
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"...it's not true."
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"How did I know your address?"
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"How do I know the names and addresses of every man, woman and child..."
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"...in the whole world?"
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"...to be held..."
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"...to be cared for?"
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"It's true, Eddie."
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"You know it."
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"You told me."
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"- Judge Harold T. Stone? - I'm Judge Stone."
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"Dr. Peter Green, Winwood Psychiatric Center."
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"- The police told me I'd find John here. - John?"
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"John Stevens, the man in the red flannel suit."
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"Oh, that John Stevens."
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"- You don't? - No, every year..."
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"...he disappears just before Christmas."
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"Usually manages to elude us till about the first of February."
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"I'm sorry. Alleged fruitcake?"
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"Another adult who lies about things."
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"- My, my, Santa, am I ever surprised. - Eddie, don't. He's sick."
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"- You wanna hear something crazy? - It's my job."
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"I actually started listening to this old coot."
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"Me, Eddie Simms, actually believed in Santa Claus."
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"- Eddie... - You're a phony, old man."
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"Other people just tell lies. You live them."
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"- What? - I said, apologize to him!"
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"- For what?! - Are you that stupid?"
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"She's here."
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"...to risk ridicule just to show you that."
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"- Yeah, well, nobody asked him. - Feels good, don't it?"
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"What do you want? You want me to say thank you?"
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"Okay, fine. Thank you, Santa. Thank you. Thanks for caring."
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"- Sorry, it didn't work out. Maybe next year. - What's the point?"
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"Remember..."
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"Remember when you were 5..."
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"...and you were sick, and your mom had to hold you down..."
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"...to get the medicine in?"
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"He cares for you. Mary cares for you. I care for you."
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"You are in the middle of a room full of people that care for you."
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"- Bull. - Yeah?"
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"You know, I am sick of hearing how everybody cares for me."
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"It is just talk! That's all it is! It's just talk."
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"- Let me go! - Stop squirming."
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"- What are you doing? - I'm hugging you, dummy."
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"- Let go of me. Stop. Please, stop it. - Shut up."
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"- Shut up. - Please."
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"Shut up."
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"I don't understand what happened."
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"- Transference. - What?"
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"The object of the patient's anger is transferred to the analyst..."
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"...which creates a cathartic condition as well as fertile ground..."
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"I'm sorry for crinkling your robe."
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"And better. Please, no more rough stuff."
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"Come on, John. Let's go. I've got a car waiting."
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"This'll show my right to guardianship..."
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"...in case of any question about the charges."
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"I'll remand him into your custody now, doctor."
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"I'm sure the charges will be dropped under the circumstances."
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"- Goodbye, Harry. - Goodbye."
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"You really believe you're Santa Claus, don't you?"
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"Oh, I believe this is yours, isn't it?"
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"- Lana. - A pleasure."
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"Thank you, Elizabeth."
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"Hey..."
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"...about what I said before. - Oh, don't worry."
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"I didn't believe you either."
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"Wait a minute."
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"We got a report from the police missing persons department."
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"It arrived before you got here."
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"See."
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""Missing since Friday, Ben Kurasawa, age 13..."
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"...and Nancy Tanaka, age 12.""
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"Harry, about my proposition..."
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"Think it over."
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"More banana brandy, anyone?"
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"It came in that Christmas basket with the stuff you've been munching on."
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"The candied oysters were good."
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"- Strange day, huh? - Yeah."
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"I'm sure there must be an explanation for everything."
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"Like what?"
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"Yeah."
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"...disguised his voice, took down the information..."
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"...replaced the receiver without us noticing, and we were none the wiser."
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"You will always be..."
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"...none the wiser."
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"It's open. Come on in."
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"I said, come in. It's open."
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"Hey, guys. Come here. Look at this! Look at this!"
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"There!"
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"- It's Selma. - That'd be my guess."
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"If you think I'm cleaning that up, you're crazy."
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"Always takes me a couple of weeks to wind down after Christmas."
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"Don't make me bring it up."
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"...if you would just give us your real name."
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"You look a little young to be a judge."
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"- Touché, you little... - Your Honor."
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"If I'd like?"
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"This nut thinks he's Santa Claus."
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