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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"so I can prove I've still got it."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, my God! It's a giant bomb!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- What's goin' on? - Someone brought fudge?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, you tell Gavin to pay attention."
American Dad! (2005)
"and they outnumber us four to one."
American Dad! (2005)
"The red dragon awakens."
American Dad! (2005)
"Mom, Dad, you better come in here!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Lindsay Lohan's eyes!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Okay, what have we got here?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Ah, beloved grandpa. Of course!"
American Dad! (2005)
"God forbid I get to spice up my daywith a murdered stripper."
American Dad! (2005)
"Gosh, Dad, you're not even gonna say anything about your own father?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hello, Stan. Long time no partially see."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, my God! - Stan, who is this?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Just the most awesome super spy that ever lived!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Saywhat?"
American Dad! (2005)
"This is your real father? You hid this from me for 20 years?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Sorry, gang, but for the last four decades..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Wait a minute. Ifthat's our grandfather, who did we just bury?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, let's just say he's a beloved family friend..."
American Dad! (2005)
"So forget this guy."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, chief, I broughtyou a Taliban snow globe."
American Dad! (2005)
"Shake it. That's real heroin."
American Dad! (2005)
"I can't believeyou lied to me all theseyears!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Francine, taste these eggs."
American Dad! (2005)
"So, you're a despicable C.I.A. fascist like my father."
American Dad! (2005)
"No, doll face. I work for the Scarlet Alliance."
American Dad! (2005)
"I wish I was doing whatyou're doing:"
American Dad! (2005)
"then coming back in a blaze of glory and eggs."
American Dad! (2005)
"Sorry, Dad. I should've told you we have an alien."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh. Well, in that case, we're square."
American Dad! (2005)
"God, not even a please! Treat me like a doormat, why don'tya?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Your grandfather and I used to play bridge together."
American Dad! (2005)
"Would you like on ofhis sugar packets as a keepsake?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, he took these from I HOP!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm gonna miss him."
American Dad! (2005)
"And he has ajet pack anda helicopter, and I bet he could beat up a cowboy."
American Dad! (2005)
"This isn't working for me, Stan."
American Dad! (2005)
"What's the problem? I was gyrati ng with the sensible rhythm of the Dave Clark Five..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- But he said not to tell. - But I'm yourwife!"
American Dad! (2005)
"And he's my dad! That's nature's wife."
American Dad! (2005)
"Don'tyou get it, Francine? The whole reason l joined the C.I.A. was to be like him."
American Dad! (2005)
"Only the manliest man in theworld."
American Dad! (2005)
"Honestly, you should be having sex with him right now. He'd doyou right."
American Dad! (2005)
"Jack is so wonderful."
American Dad! (2005)
"How many push-ups doyou think he can do?"
American Dad! (2005)
"'Cause I think he can do a hundred."
American Dad! (2005)
"Roger, doyou have a boy crush on my grandfather?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Well done, kiddo. Fine "killingsmanship.""
American Dad! (2005)
"The fact is I'm retiring."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad, no! You can't! So many people will be left unkilled."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ah, that's whereyou come in. I wantyou to take my place."
American Dad! (2005)
"No? Join the Scarlet Alliance? Really?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I have one last mission..."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ah, who will finish my masterpiece now?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I have a chance to join the Scarlet Alliance!"
American Dad! (2005)
"A chance? You don't even have the jobyet?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- What aboutyour family? - Francine, this is my dream."
American Dad! (2005)
"My life will finally be rich with adventure."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hello, MasterCard? Doyou accept payment in the form ofadventure?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Finally, all-out war against artists! I've longed for this day."
American Dad! (2005)
"Al-Qaeda? Please! Al-Qaeda wishes they could cater these guys' parties."
American Dad! (2005)
"We have to break into the museum and get the uranium before they do."
American Dad! (2005)
"No! It's too dangerous! You and I could be so happy together."
American Dad! (2005)
"We're on the trail of a jewel thief who may be in this area."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Yes. - Salty demeanor. Wears a turtleneck."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, thank heavens!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Keep your pretty mouth shut, and everything'll be Punky Brewster."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Dad, you're not looking! - Look, eitheryou tell Stan the truth, or I will!"
American Dad! (2005)
"All right, Francine."
American Dad! (2005)
"First I'm gonna need a shot of Dutch courage."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad, you missed it!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- She's an olderwoman. - Yeah? How old?"
American Dad! (2005)
"So do raisins. But those taste pretty sweet."
American Dad! (2005)
"Now, ifyou need me later on, check the Retirement Villa, Apartment 2C."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, Stan, I'm so sorry. The truth hurts, but-"
American Dad! (2005)
"- You're out ofbourbon."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Dad told meyou'd say that. - He's using you."
American Dad! (2005)
"- He's really a jewel thief. - Dad told meyou'd say that too."
American Dad! (2005)
"But no more, succubus!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Ready, Son? - Sure, Pop."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad's taking me on a mission."
American Dad! (2005)
"But first we're stopping for cheeseburgers and milk shakes. Jealous?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Gretchen? Ready to party?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I brought us a sixer of Ensure."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh- Oh, just a minute."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Hey, baby. - You're early."
American Dad! (2005)
"That's funny. My friend Snot has a cut-off Wrangler jean vest just like that."
American Dad! (2005)
"How- How could you?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Handsome, you've got to understand."
American Dad! (2005)
"I don't have long for this world."
American Dad! (2005)
"Monogamy's for girls in their 60s."
American Dad! (2005)
"Don't try to apologize! From now on, there's a sign on our love..."
American Dad! (2005)
"and that sign reads: "Do Not Resuscitate.""
American Dad! (2005)
"- Please! Somebody!"
American Dad! (2005)
"What the hell is this? Hang on. I'll getyou out ofthere."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, Roger, thank God you're here."
American Dad! (2005)
"Jack convinced Stan I was a spy, so he locked me up."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yes! The man's a jewel thief, and he-"
American Dad! (2005)
"You're a natural, boy, and you look fantastic in that turtleneck."
American Dad! (2005)
"Like a beardless Paul Mitchell."
American Dad! (2005)
"Now, Daddy, let's go get that uranium you told me about."
American Dad! (2005)
"Point a flashlight at my dad, you terrorist-helping traitor!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad, you're 76.. Just retire."
American Dad! (2005)
"Mark and I would love foryou to live with us."
American Dad! (2005)
"But these areyour goldenyears, Pop."
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan, that's enough. Let's get to the vault, Son."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Sheila, I'm ready."
American Dad! (2005)
"Son, breaking into a vault is like making love to a woman."
American Dad! (2005)
"- All right, Dad! We're in!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad, how much time do we have to-"
American Dad! (2005)
"on a small island where I can swim and paint."
American Dad! (2005)
"Francine was right! You're-You're a thief!."
American Dad! (2005)
"Which is perfect. Because now you can use those C.I.A. skills..."
American Dad! (2005)
"I can't believeyou chose a life of crime..."
American Dad! (2005)
"over the most precious jewel ofall: a son's love."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yes, yes, we all know the bit."
American Dad! (2005)
"But I'm not a criminal, and I'm not going with you."
American Dad! (2005)
"So I guess this is it. There's a security phone behind you."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Sorry, Stan. I can't go to jail."
American Dad! (2005)
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