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Clips from Modern Family - Undeck the Halls (S01E01)

"You know what? I'd rather be itchy than chokey."
Modern Family
"[Lmitates Static] Come in, Florida. Over. Mom? Dad?"
Modern Family
"Was one of you smoking a cigarette? What?"
Modern Family
"Anyway, merry Christmas!"
Modern Family
"♪ Hey, hey Hey, hey ♪"
Modern Family
"It's just because he says he's Santa Claus."
Modern Family
"And all we see there is Salazar and El Oso Save Christmas."
Modern Family
"What the hell is that? [Both Laughing]"
Modern Family
"You know what? Somebody needs to get in the holiday- ♪ God rest ye merry gentlemen ♪"
Modern Family
"- ♪ Remember Christ our savior ♪ - Maybe it's not them."
Modern Family
"♪ To save us all ♪ It's them."
Modern Family
"We would perform at charity events, hospitals-"
Modern Family
"Uh, last year, one of my carolers-"
Modern Family
"Is there a slap mark on my face?"
Modern Family
"And... we're gonna wait for the fat Santa."
Modern Family
"That's fine, 'cause you know what happens next?"
Modern Family
"Don't put the rest of us through this. Luke? No?"
Modern Family
"Haley, I guess you're not getting that car."
Modern Family
"I mean, what's with them tossing out candy canes after every carol?"
Modern Family
"There you go. Always a way to make room."
Modern Family
"for your troubles. No, that's okay. No, no, really-"
Modern Family
"Yeah. It's not so bad. It's pretty roomy since the wife moved out."
Modern Family
"Okay. Tonight, 9:00 sharp, we open one present each."
Modern Family
"I'm sure that they do, but as you'll notice from the absence of goats in the street,"
Modern Family
"Manny, next year we'll talk about some of your little Colombian traditions."
Modern Family
"You're the one who always says I shouldn't be such a pushover with the kids."
Modern Family
"[Sighs]"
Modern Family
"[Panting] Nobody did it again?"
Modern Family
"Guess what? Christmas is still canceled."
Modern Family
"Oh. Kinda like the Hulk."
Modern Family
"'cause of my bad temper."
Modern Family
"Um, Scott, I-I have a confession to make. Yeah?"
Modern Family
"I didn't clean the lint tray,"
Modern Family
"- It's the least we could do. - What do you mean?"
Modern Family
"Oh, my- Okay. That-"
Modern Family
"That seems a little high, doesn't it?"
Modern Family
"Picture on the stairs, hot chocolate, opening the presents."
Modern Family
"That was supposed to be the good thing about having a kid in the house again."
Modern Family
"I can have Christmas the way we used to. I hear you, Jay."
Modern Family
"to create new memories with my new family..."
Modern Family
"Ay, papi, what's wrong?"
Modern Family
"And he just wants to recreate them with you."
Modern Family
"Okay. But if this so-called Santa Claus..."
Modern Family
"that we're making a supreme sacrifice..."
Modern Family
"[Groans] Okay, forget that. Go back one."
Modern Family
"I found a cigarette at school,"
Modern Family
"and when no one was home, I- I tried it."
Modern Family
"Fine."
Modern Family
"Doesn't matter. Stockings, lights, ornaments, wreath!"
Modern Family
"Go, go, go! Okay."
Modern Family
"Mmm. Not as much as you'd think."
Modern Family
"Don't forget your laundry."
Modern Family
"Oh! Thanks. Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks."
Modern Family
"♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪ And happy- Son of a bitch."
Modern Family
"You know what the best thing I did all day was?"
Modern Family
"Uh, I know it's no accident that you're here on my street tonight."
Modern Family
"Not cool, buddy."
Modern Family
"Well, I should, uh, probably scoot."
Modern Family
"What's this? Buñuelos."
Modern Family
"It's a Colombian traditional Christmas food."
Modern Family
"[Laughter]"
Modern Family
"I've never heard that. Actually, honey, you did kinda shoot your mouth off."
Modern Family
"You called us all liars. And- Yeah, and then-"
Modern Family
"And they make up for those mistakes-"
Modern Family
"[Jay] We talk a lot about tradition this time of year."
Modern Family
"Inocente!"
Modern Family
"We remember the year Santa punched out the caroler."
Modern Family
"♪ All is calm ♪"
Modern Family
"♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪♪"
Modern Family
"Um, I didn't, uh-"
Modern Family
"so, um, your clothes might be a little pilly."
Modern Family
"Oh, no problem. That's the least of my worries."
Modern Family
"Thanks for everything. You guys made my day."
Modern Family
"- I don't know... what I was saying. - [Chuckles]"
Modern Family
"[Slaps Leg]"
Modern Family
"We give him some money, a hot meal, laundry. I think we're square."
Modern Family
"Agreed. Okay, how does this thing work?"
Modern Family
"Yeah, I think you just press that button right there in the middle. Yeah."
Modern Family
"Yes. I'm not putting Lily in that. It's like something astronauts train in."
Modern Family
"[Jay, Knocking] Ho, ho, ho! It's me! Ho, ho, ho! It's me!"
Modern Family
"It's your dad. Yeah."
Modern Family
"Hey, Dad. Hi. Hey, guys. Hey!"
Modern Family
"I brought your presents. Aren't we seeing you tomorrow, Jay?"
Modern Family
"These are your Christmas Eve gifts. You know the drill. Oh, yeah."
Modern Family
"You open those up before bedtime. They're pajamas."
Modern Family
"Still keeping traditions alive, huh? Well, someone has to."
Modern Family
"I got two Colombians at home trying to turn Christmas into Cinco de Mayo."
Modern Family
"Christmas should be Christmas."
Modern Family
"If I was home right now, I'd be mixin' up a bathtub full of eggnog..."
Modern Family
"and trying to squeeze a greased hog into a Santa hat."
Modern Family
"You don't think I miss that?"
Modern Family
"The point is that those are memories that I'll always have,"
Modern Family
"but now I have the perfect opportunity..."
Modern Family
"that are gonna be just as special someday."
Modern Family
"Aw. No. Cam's right, you know."
Modern Family
"We create new traditions every year."
Modern Family
"So, who's ready to try the swing?"
Modern Family
"[Gloria] Okay, now remind me. We put this in the oven..."
Modern Family
"first thing tomorrow 'cause Jay wants to eat at 3:00."
Modern Family
"Ay, Manny! Did you put this spider in the fridge?"
Modern Family
"Oh, yeah. Inocente."
Modern Family
"I want to have Christmas like they do in Colombia. Jay is messing everything up."
Modern Family
"Manny, try to understand. Jay has great memories with his kids when they were young."
Modern Family
"So, maybe the best gift I could give Jay would be..."
Modern Family
"Christmas like he used to have it?"
Modern Family
"Ay, you're such a beautiful boy!"
Modern Family
"One day you're gonna grow up, and I'm gonna miss..."
Modern Family
"all the things that you used to do as a little boy."
Modern Family
"doesn't bring me a burgundy dinner jacket, we're going to have a big problem."
Modern Family
"[Toy Spider Clinks In Glass]"
Modern Family
"Honey? Hmm?"
Modern Family
"Would it really be so bad to back down?"
Modern Family
"And have the kids never take any of our threats seriously again?"
Modern Family
"Yeah. Mmm."
Modern Family
"Or... the kids could realize..."
Modern Family
"by giving up our power to save their Christmas."
Modern Family
"Which would, in a way, be the greatest gift that we could ever give them."
Modern Family
"And which would paradoxically make them respect us even more."
Modern Family
"Hey, guys."
Modern Family
"[Sighs] It- It was me."
Modern Family
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