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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - Home Sweet Home-School (S01E01)

"I would lead with the card. I'm rooting for you."
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"- You ready? - Yeah."
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"- Yes! - Yes!"
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"Mom! We got report cards!"
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"Oh. Okay."
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"What is this?"
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"Our school doesn't give out grades."
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"It fosters unhealthy competition."
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"Clouds are rain. What are you, a farmer?"
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"_"
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"The one good thing about moving here"
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"is I have no friends and no distractions."
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"Grandma, what does Fonzie say?"
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""A"!"
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"School is too easy."
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"this trick done changed the rules."
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"Eddie, don't call your mother a trick."
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"You need to make school more challenging,"
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"or else my son will fall behind."
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"I'm sorry. There's not much I can do"
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"Well, is there extra school?"
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"Where is the closest CLC?"
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"Oh, no."
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"What's CLC?"
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"I couldn't hear them through the reinforced glass,"
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"but I imagined it was the sound of childhood."
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"I'm sorry. We don't have a Chinese learning center here."
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"But we do have an after-school program"
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"where we bring in farm animals"
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"for the children to play with."
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"Please put your lap chicken away."
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"It's like success is not important to them."
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"Unh-unh!"
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"Nancy, no wasting napkins."
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"She ordered a salad."
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"She does not need an extra napkin."
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"My hands are tied."
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"Jessica, we talked about this."
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"It's a slippery slope."
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"First, an employee pops a crouton."
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"Next thing you know, they are wheeling ovens out of the kitchen."
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"Same with the customer."
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"Next thing you know, they run out on the bill."
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"Same with the boys."
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"First, they have baby chickens in their lap."
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"Next thing you know, they are homeless!"
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"You know, just because they don't offer CLC here"
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"Well, I'm not a teacher."
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"No, but you are very smart."
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"Some of them were not impressive."
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"Mnh-mnh."
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"Oh, never mind."
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"You can't teach the Boy CLC."
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"You are so valuable here."
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"- I really am. - Yeah."
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"Our boys did get straight A's."
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"Look what my mom got me for my straight c's."
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"You want to play?"
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"Does the yellow man like dumplings?"
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"Let me go get my breakaway pants"
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"so I can rip them off."
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"We're doing CLC."
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"There is now... homeschool CLC."
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"Eddie, focus!"
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"Okay, I need to start making dinner."
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"Evan, you make sure that everyone does their CLC."
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"Okay, teacher mommy."
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"You're loving this."
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"I'm writing you up."
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""Student... Eddie Huang."
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""Student... Eddie Huang.""
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"This sucks, right, Emery?"
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"You play the cards you're dealt."
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"Choose life, you know?"
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"Aw, man, a trampoline?"
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"And he's using it inappropriately?"
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"Oh, uh, I'm sorry. I was..."
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"Is this a trick?"
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"Is she here? Is she watching us?"
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"- Are you tricking me? - No, no. It's not a trick."
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"- Stop, stop. - Where is she?"
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"you're being hugged by a matronly woman with chubby arms."
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"See, I believe"
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"that happy employees are good employees"
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"and good employees are good for business."
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"So how about this?"
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"R-really?"
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"So I'm gonna take one, and you're gonna take one."
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"- Ding! - Cheers."
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"They're pretty good."
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"I know that you aren't a matronly woman, but..."
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"Bring it."
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"- Okay, we're good. - Okay."
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"- Okay. You're a really good man. - Thank you."
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"Okay. Oh, that was fun."
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"Whoo! Rough day at the ranch."
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"Is Nancy messing up the iced teas again?"
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"I told her it is 4 cups of water to 1 tea bag."
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"It is so hard to not have you there."
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"But this is best for the boys."
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"Our sacrifice will be worth it."
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"Mom, Eddie's refusing to use the bathroom pass."
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"Dinner's almost ready. You finish your CLC?"
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"You know I didn't."
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"Dinner after CLC."
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"Uh, well, you know, it's, uh, tough for all of us."
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"I'm dying without her at the restaurant."
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"Nobody's having a good time. Love you!"
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"Love you? My dad never said that."
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"My family loved each other. We just didn't say it."
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"We showed our love through criticism and micromanagement,"
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"so if you said "love you,""
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"you were probably hiding something."
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"- Here you are. - Oh, I'm okay."
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"I beg to differ."
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"Boop!"
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"Hey, we have a jukebox?"
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"Hey, Mitch, go ahead and plug her in."
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"Happy employees equal happy customers."
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"Ah."
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