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Clips from Married with Children - The Camping Show (S03E03)

"Hey, Kel."
Married with Children
"Hm, you're carrying that extra chin very nicely."
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"[HIGH-PITCHED] You're next, Dad."
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"Not me, son. I did what Custer should have:"
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"used scouts."
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"You know why they're doing this to us, don't you, Steve?"
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"It's because we were gonna have fun."
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"That's why they invented this period thing."
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"You know who was a good woman?"
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"Veronica. You know, from Archie'scomics?"
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"Veronica never had a period."
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"but she still had an attitude problem."
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"You're right, there are no good ones."
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"It's cold in here!"
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"It's hot and cold in here."
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"The kid's right, Al, I'm scared."
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"Be thankful yours just kills,"
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"it's quick, it's clean."
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"wants to mate before she kills."
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"let them kill each other."
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"[LAUGHING]"
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"God. I feel foul."
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"Oh, I'm so bloated, even my teeth are swollen."
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"If I retain any more water in my body,"
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"they could build a pier across my butt."
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"I need a foot rub."
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"I need someone to yell at."
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"Where are the men?"
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"I bet they went fishing."
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"Isn't that just like men?"
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"When we need them most, they're never around."
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"Men are the lowest."
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"[WHISPERS] Men, we're surrounded."
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"Men?"
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"Well, what happened?"
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"We were walking through the woods"
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"and something came crashing through a bush."
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"I thought it was you, Peg,"
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"but it didn't want my wallet."
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"There he is!"
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"The bear's over there spraying your tires."
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"Stop that!"
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"Bad! Bad bear!"
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"They don't want us, Bud."
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"See, Al, wild animals can sense when women are, uh..."
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"Killing their husbands?"
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"We've gotta get outta here."
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"Well, somebody has to go for help."
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"I'd love to, honey, but I can't."
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"There's a moose filling my gas tank."
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"Look at them. Our protectors."
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"The great white hunters."
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"those men would have gone out there, fought the bear,"
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"come back with supper and a nice rug."
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"Now you send them for milk,"
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"a runny nose and a bad back."
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"You know, it's amazing."
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"The one thing they're good for they're not good at."
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"I hate the way they won't ask directions"
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"when they're lost."
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"And the way they leave the toilet seat up."
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"And the way they ask you to chip in for the motel room."
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"Well, the cast of Bambi is out there now."
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"Puffy, Crabby and Horny."
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"[GROANING]"
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"Al, it is 7:30 in the morning."
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"Well, Peg, we're out in the woods now."
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"You get up early, you go to bed early. Good night."
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"Mwah, mwah."
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"[GROANS]"
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"It's Thursday."
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"Did I miss anything?"
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"Yeah. Wednesday."
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"Daddy, we're starving to death."
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"And some of us are aging badly."
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"Zip it, pimple farm."
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"Daddy, do something."
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"I'm going to, pumpkin."
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"I'm gonna take a nap in a few minutes."
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"Oh, Steve! How's the car?"
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"Well, I can, uh, still just about tell it's a Mercedes."
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"Of course, the tires are flat,"
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"but that's probably because of the porcupine quills."
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"So I guess the laugh's on him."
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"$30,000..."
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"Al..."
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"Come on, honey, let's do it."
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"Let's go into the bathroom."
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"Come on. No one has to know..."
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"not even you."
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"Maybe I can reason with them."
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"Now, someone has to take charge here,"
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"and it's gonna be me."
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"What do we have?"
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"why you need the suit of many hooks."
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"Like the wily porcupine,"
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"I now have my armor of quills."
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"If anything gets close,"
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"and proceed in an aggressive manner."
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"And I have my secret weapon."
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"If anything goes wrong,"
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"I zap them in the face with bug spray."
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"Why not just use your socks on a stick?"
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"Or would that be too cruel?"
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"[HISSES]"
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"[WOLF HOWLS]"
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"Oh, son, you're the man of the family now."
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"If for some reason I don't come back,"
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"the shoe store opens at 10."
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"He'll never make it, you know."
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"Well, it won't be the first time."
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"Well, he's-- He's made it through the mosquitoes."
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"He's hurdling a beaver."
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"Go, Al, go!"
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"Oops."
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"A wolf. [SNARLING]"
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"Oh, no, you really should see this, Marce."
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"[SNARLS]"
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"He is now stuck to the tree by his mighty quills."
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"Whoa-ho!"
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