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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events - The Miserable Mill: Part Two (S01E01)

"♪ You might dream that justice And peace win the day ♪"
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"♪ But that's not how the story goes ♪"
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"♪ Some people smile At the end of the day ♪"
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"♪ Some people laugh, I suppose ♪"
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"♪ That's just how the story... ♪"
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"I've called every town, business and bus stop"
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"That's him! Pick it up! No, don't pick it up!"
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"Poe speaking."
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"Poe, this is Tamerlane."
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"I've received orders that I can't let you go."
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"But if you don't find those orphans, I'll make sure you end up"
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"- Am I clear? - Yes, Mr. Tamerlane, yes."
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"Take it off."
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"- No. - Take it off."
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"No, please."
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"No, don't make... No."
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"Call me when you've found those orphans."
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"Leave it to me, Artie."
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"Before I was editor in chief of the Daily Punctilio,"
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"I cut my teeth as an investigative journalist."
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"It's time I got back to my roots."
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"Seeing in black and white"
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"in a manner that is oversimplified and often incorrect."
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"Like many newspapers, the Daily Punctilio is printed in black and white,"
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"was not the work of a cabal of real estate agents."
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"Lemony Snicket is not dead."
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"I am sorry to say that there was not a terrible accident"
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"at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill during the Baudelaires' time there."
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"There were two."
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"But if you prefer to look at the world in black and white,"
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"then you should avert your eyes or pick up a newspaper instead."
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"Because I know the shocking truth behind the accidents"
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"at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill, and I can assure you..."
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"it's better if you can't see."
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"- Thank you. I can see. - Well, of course you can."
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"I'm an excellent optometrist, no matter what the medical board says."
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"Well, hello, little girls. What are your names?"
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"You know our names, and that wig and that lipstick don't fool us."
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"I don't know what you're talking about."
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"I'm Dr. Orwell's receptionist. My name is Shirley."
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"- You mean Shirley Count Olaf? - Actually, my last name is St. Ives."
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"It says so on my name tag, see?"
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"- What have you done to Klaus? - You were right."
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"These children are horribly impolite."
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"call me by the wrong name,"
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"Cookie?"
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"What's all this?"
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"Oh, hello, children."
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"I hope you're having a nice visit with the optometrist."
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"Charles, you have to listen. This woman is a notorious villain."
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"- And she's not a woman. - Nonsense!"
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"Dr. Orwell has provided free eye exams to Lucky Smells employees for years."
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"And there's nothing villainous about free healthcare."
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"Clearly she's a woman. Look at her pantsuit."
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"Women can be doctors just as men can be receptionists."
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"I'm talking about the receptionist."
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"Hi, I'm Cookie. Shirley?"
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"- What proposal? - It doesn't concern you, Charles."
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"Doesn't concern me? I'm your partner."
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"I... I haven't seen you in my chair."
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"- I have excellent vision. - Well, vision changes."
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"Just as I suspected. Cloudy, dull."
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"- What color is this newspaper? - Hmm, black and white?"
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"And color-blind, too. You must come see me right away."
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"Can't have a cloudy, dull-eyed partner. How would you make my omelets?"
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"Handsome and a gentleman."
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"Pleasure."
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"Hur-rah!"
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"Get back to work!"
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"Yes, sir."
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"Klaus?"
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"There's nothing to worry about."
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"He's operating it perfectly."
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"You're doing great, Klaus!"
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"Move as fast as you can and then move faster!"
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"Count Olaf and Dr. Orwell did something to Klaus."
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"He's not himself."
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"What? No. It was Hypnotists in the Forest."
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"Focus, lumber minions!"
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"Look on your right side!"
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"Code red! Code red!"
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"Whoa!"
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"Ah!"
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"They won't stop coming, Dolores."
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"They're like zombies, only different."
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"I'm afraid they've been..."
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"Many people think hypnosis is only in scary movies."
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"Dolores, avert your eyes!"
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"But, Dolores, no!"
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"whenever she'd hear the word omelet, would cluck like a chicken."
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"could suddenly play an instrument he'd never studied."
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"Dolores, put down that violin!"
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"The Encyclopedia Hypnotica does not mention the fatal accident"
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"that happened during the Baudelaires' time at Lucky Smells Lumbermill."
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"Fatal is a word here which means caused the death of one person who..."
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"- You're gonna be all right. - Bear down now, Phil."
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"I'm okay!"
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"Code red! Code red! Code red!"
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"Code red!"
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"It's too heavy! It won't budge!"
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"- Oh! - Oh, boy!"
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"Half-price pedicures for life!"
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"I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get back to work."
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"You need to go to a hospital."
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"We earned those coupons last month. 50% off Ahab Memorial."
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"Uh, two of us will chip in."
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"- We'll get your leg fixed up. - It can't be fixed."
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"Oh! I wouldn't say that."
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"I mean, Phil's leg is going to need some..."
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"eh... help."
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"But, uh, we're fortunate that, uh, the damage wasn't worse."
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"Wasn't worse? The debarker dispenser is destroyed."
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"- Who's responsible? - Klaus Baudelaire caused the accident."
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"He said he knew how to operate heavy machinery."
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"Excuses, excuses. Just like your parents."
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"They burnt down the town,"
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"Perhaps we should reevaluate our safety procedures."
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"One more mistake, Baudelaires, and I'm gonna send you away"
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"to a place where you'll learn the value of discipline and child labor."
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"As it happens, I have just the place in mind."
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