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Clips from Haters Back Off! - Uploding my Fist Video (S01E01)

"Oh, no. Viral? Sweetie, I'm sorry. Why would you say that to her?"
Haters Back Off!
"No, it is a good thing."
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"Oh, it's a good thing. You're gonna be fine."
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"Going viral is Internet slang for famous. This is great."
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"Now that you have a fan base, you need to build on this success."
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"You need to nurture them, make the fans think that you care."
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"You don't stop until you've transmitted that virus"
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"- Sounds fun. - [softly] It is fun."
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"So, are we going to your house this weekend?"
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"I can't. My parents wanna sit down and have dinner"
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"Wow. How do you survive in that family?"
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"You look like you wanna meet me."
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"There might be some confusion about when it is. It's now."
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"- [girl 1] Who is that? - You guys can come say hi."
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"- Welcome. Did you want a picture? - [girl 2] What?"
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"I'm gonna go get it and then I will catch up with you guys later."
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"Okay, single file line, everybody. Just right here. One picture each."
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"- Miranda, what are you doing? - I'm meeting my fans."
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"I have a YouTube video now. It's online. Hello?"
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"- Here you go. - YouTube?"
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"Ooh, you'll like that one. Put it above your bed. [chuckles]"
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"Great. That's really great for you. I just... You know, Miranda,"
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"I just don't think that the kids at my school are really, you know,"
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"ready for someone like you."
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"Everyone at my school saw it and loved it."
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"- Two for one. - Miranda, stop!"
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"You are making a scene!"
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"That's right, Miranda. I'm the one making the scene."
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"- Get away, freak. - Okay, make sure to tag me in that."
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"Okay, you have to go home and take down that video, right now."
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"- [school bell ringing] - [Miranda] Oh."
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"I'll be back tomorrow for another meet and greet."
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"Oh, just so you know, your sign says "great.""
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"Thank you."
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"'Cause my fibro..."
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"[sighs] It's such a burden."
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"Can you please get the big ones?"
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"You know what? I'm gonna actually need you to scan 'em for me."
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"Thank you so much. You're such a good helper."
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"- You squished the... - [Emily] Excuse me."
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"- I'm sorry. Mom. - Yes, what? What are you doing here?"
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"Miranda showed up at my school today."
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"Oh, dear."
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"I got her to leave, but she said she's coming back,"
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"so I think we just need to deal with this whole YouTube thing"
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"before it gets way out of hand."
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"Okay, well, I'm on it. I'm making her a YouTube award. Right?"
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"Then she'll think she won YouTube"
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"No. No, that's just gonna encourage her, Mom."
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"Someone needs to be honest with her and tell her that she's got no talent."
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"You're right."
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"When are you gonna tell her?"
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"You have to tell her."
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"You're the mom."
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"Well, I can't tell her. She won't like it."
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"- Did you see it? - Yeah."
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"I know. "Keep trying," right? Everything is going exactly as planned."
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"Probably got more, I just haven't checked yet."
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"Ooh, scooch, scooch!"
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"- Oh, no. - What?"
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"but I think he thinks that you should stop making videos, and that you suck."
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"Yeah, okay. "Or what?""
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"[scoffs] "Are you threatening me?""
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"He could be out there right now watching me, waiting to attack!"
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"A death threat is just a subset of phase one."
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"I can't believe this is happening to me. I'm gonna die!"
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"You need to build me a panic room."
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"- No one is getting in! - Okay..."
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"No, I'm not okay! I just got a death threat."
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"- Mom, what do you want? - What? I made snacks."
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"Snacks? How can you cook wieners at a time like this?"
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"- There's a killer on the loose. - What?"
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"Yes, I just got a death threat. Look!"
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"Miranda, "You suck..." [gasps]"
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"Oh, honey, that's so vile. I can't say it out loud."
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"What, are you saying I'm wrong? You're taking their side, Mom? Really?"
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"No! No, I mean, it's a... it's a very scary death threat, okay?"
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"Here, have a wiener."
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"No, I can't eat that! What if someone poisoned it?"
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"- Safe. - Oh, thank God."
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"Hey, what are you doing?"
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"You only have to eat enough to see if it kills you."
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"God, I'm so stressed."
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"We'll just lay low on the Internet and move on to phase two."
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"Phase two? I can't go on television right now."
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"There's a killer on the loose."
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"But we need to strike while the iron is hot."
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"Easy. We'll get her a commercial."
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"Miranda should be the spokesperson for an up-and-coming local business,"
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"and it just so happens that I have a great deal of influence"
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"at our neighborhood fish store."
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"Don't worry about it. It's gonna be great."
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"Well, did you feed the guppies?"
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"And what about the filters I told you to change?"
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"- You get to those? - Nope, I did not."
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"Have you done your job, like, at all today, dude?"
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"You see that camera? These lights? They didn't set themselves up."
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"I've been busy."
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"- [door chimes] - Is it safe for me to come in?"
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"- Okay. - Maybe we should've just stayed home."
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"No, Mom, you need to put up these posters that I made, okay?"
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"I want everyone on the lookout for the hater."
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"Oh, honey, I don't think he actually looks like this."
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"God, you obviously know nothing about the Internet."
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"Unless you'd rather do nothing and watch me get killed."
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"No, I don't wanna watch you get killed."
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"Then why won't you just put them up like a good girl?"
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"- [stutters] I will! - Thank you."
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"Okay, can we hurry this up, please?"
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"having said that, we just have to wait till 3:00,"
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"when my other actor gets here, which should be just a minute."
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"Okay, why can't I play both parts?"
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"Well, his part doesn't have any lines. You don't wanna do that."
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"Ew."
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"[Patrick grunting]"
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"[Phil] I'm a delivery man."
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"Pretty tight security out there today, huh?"
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"Mmm-hmm."
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"I think one sword is probably enough, huh?"
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"[Jim] Uh, I don't know about that."
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