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Clips from The Simpsons - Moaning Lisa (S01E01)

"-Do you know where my keys are? -No. I'm talkin' about your breakfast."
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"One, and two, and three, and--"
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"The Iowa farmer whose land has been taken away by unfeeling bureaucrats."
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"That's all fine and good, but none of those unpleasant people..."
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"are going to be at the recital next week."
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"Every day at noon a bell rings, and they herd us in here for feeding time."
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"Food fight!"
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"Get outta the way! How come he's not ducking?"
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"Why don't you climb up on Daddy's knee and tell him all about it."
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"Hey, man. I didn't do anything wrong!"
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"- Enjoy your bath? - No, not really."
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"Come on, Maggie! The choice is obvious."
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"Get over to the-- Aaah!"
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"I was just playing the blues, Dad."
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"Unless my fingers clacking on the keys is too loud for you."
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"You know, Marge, getting old is a terrible thing."
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"Very nice. Very nice. I once ruptured myself doin' that."
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"but I got enough pain in my life as it is."
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"He belongs in the zoo"
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"I'm the saddest kid"
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"In grade number two"
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"Lisa! Get away from that jazzman!"
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"Don't make me say it. I know the answer. You know the answer."
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"Yeah. Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking."
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"When I get a hold of you, I am gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood."
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"Okay, who's next?"
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"- Listen, can you teach me to fight like you do? - I don't think so."
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"you got yourself a deal, Fido."
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"And then you'll fit in, and you'll be invited to parties,"
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"but I guess you're okay."
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"Mmm."
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"Five minutes, people. Now, Miss Simpson, I hope we won't have a repeat..."
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"No, sir."
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"I feel like smiling."
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"I'm gonna knock you out one more time, and that's it. This is getting boring, man."
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"Don't try that. I got you blocked."
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"And this mornin' my own mother"
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"What's the problem? Did you fall in? Lisa!"
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"- Sorry, Dad. Women and children first. - What the--"
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"- Where the hell are my keys?"
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"Who stole my keys? Come on. I'm late for work."
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"Oh, Homer, you'd lose your head if it weren't securely fastened to your neck."
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"- Did you check the den? - The den! Great idea."
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"Warm. No, cold."
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"- Colder. Ice cold. - Huh?"
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"Did you try the rumpus room?"
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"Rumpus room? Great idea."
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"- Oh, Dad. - Huh?"
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"- Doh! - Oh, Homer."
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"- Here. - I'm sorry, everybody,"
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"but I've only got two cupcakes for the three of you."
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"A simple cupcake will bring me no pleasure."
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"All right, class. From the top."
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"La da da da da dee"
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"Lisa Simpson!"
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"Lisa, there's no room for crazy bebop in " My County 'Tis of thee.""
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"- But Mr. Largo, that's what my county's all about. - What?"
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"I'm wailing out for the homeless family living out of itÂ’s car."
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"The West Virginia coal miner, coughing up--"
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"Now, class. From the top."
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"And we sit around like cattle, chewing our cuds, dreading the inevitable--"
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"Come on, Lis! What are you waiting for? Chuck that spaghetti."
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"I choose not to participate."
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"Lisa, we are playing dodge ball here."
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"The object of the game is to avoid the ball by weaving or ducking out of itÂ’s path."
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"In other words, to dodge the ball."
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"Listen, missy, just tell me why you weren't getting out of the way of those balls."
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"I'm too sad."
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"Too sad to play dodge ball?"
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"That's ridiculous. Now, let's see some enthusiasm."
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"Play ball!"
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"Come on, come on. Let's go."
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"the undisputed champ of this house,"
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"Battling Bart Simpson!"
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"Whoopee, whoo!"
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"And in the lavender trunks,"
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"with a record of zero wins and 48 defeats--"
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"Oh, correction. Humiliating defeats,"
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"-all of them by knockout-- - Must you do this every time?"
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"Homer "The Human Punching Bag" Simpson!"
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"Three seconds, folks. A new record."
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"Hey, no. I'm not down. I'm-- Getup, you!"
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"Get off the mat. Okay. Here we go."
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"Wait a minute. I can't get my-- Get out of the way, stupid!"
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"- Homer? - Not now, Marge!"
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"- Get out of the corner! - They sent a note from school."
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"What did you do this time, you little hoodlum? Oops, get outta the way!"
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"I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. There's no way they can prove anything."
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"No, Bart. This note isn't about you."
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"It isn't? There must be some mistake."
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"Hey, you're right. This note's about Lisa."
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"She doesn't look sad. I don't see any tears in her eyes."
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"It's not that kind of sad."
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"I'm sorry, Dad, but you wouldn't understand."
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"Oh, sure, I would, princess. I have feelings too."
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"You know, like, " My stomach hurts.""
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"I'm just wondering what's the point?"
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"Would it make any difference at all if I never existed?"
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"How can we sleep at night when there's so much suffering in the world?"
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"Well, I-- Uh--"
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"Come on, Lisa. Ride the Homer horsey!"
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"Giddyap. Whee!"
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"Lisa, honey, why don't we go upstairs and I'll draw you a nice hot bath."
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"That helps me when I feel sad."
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"- Sorry, Dad. I know you mean well. - Thanks for knowing I mean well."
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"Gee, Homer. Looks like you got yourself a real problem on your hands."
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"Yeah, right. Uh, Bart, vacuum this floor."
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"In times of trouble you've got to go with what you know. Now, hop to it, boy!"
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"I'll show him. He thinks he's so big."
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"Oh, too bad. Well, I certainly had fun vacuuming."
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"So typical of Bart. All he thinks about is himself."
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"Hey, don't say stuff like that about me to Maggie."
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"- Is not. Is not. - Is too. Is too."
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"- Is not. - Is too! Watch. I'll prove it."
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"Maggie. Come to the one you love best."
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"No, Maggie. Come here, girl. Come tome."
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"All right, Maggie, just go to Bart."
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"Aaah! Oh, no, not again."
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"Gee, Dad, you're really bad at this."
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"Lisa, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell."
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