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Clips from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005) - Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens (S05E05)

"Hello. Charlie Kelly here,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"local business owner and cat enthusiast."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You're so stupid! There is."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Kitten Mittens."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Is your cat one-legged? Is your cat fat, skinny or an in-between?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"So come on down to Paddy's Pub."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We're the home of the original Kitten Mittens."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"So, lately at night, I've been forced to fall asleep to the deafening sound..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You know what I mean? Thus, Kitten Mittens."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"What do moronic Kitten Mittens have to do with our bar?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Okay. One, they're not moronic. They're awesome. Mmm."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and I start making some money off this place. What?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"What are you talking about? You're not gonna make any money of this place."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"The contract you had me sign when I first started working here."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, you don't remember? Did it slip your mind?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I keep it in this drawer so that you two jerks don't try..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"That doesn't nullify it, you know?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I... don't."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- He just did eat it. - All right. I'm talking to a lawyer about this."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"This is making me think maybe I should slap a patent..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, all right. Then you put it on your dashboard of your car."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Get the hell out of here, all right? Let us concentrate on doing the merchandising idea."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"So we're probably gonna have to turn the charm up a little bit in the beginning."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Know what I mean? I got a plan on how we can do that too."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I think you're better than that. I think you can do better than that."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Any respect that you're feeling that's coming from me is a mistake on your part."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- I'm not- - Now, mind you, the heretofore document..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I'm also gonna need a patent for the Kitten Mittens."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"That's them. I'm sorry, sir."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Let me show you mine, then you can go first. Then I'd be going second."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Yeah. Now what says that more than this?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Paddy's thong, dude! Paddy's thong!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You're wearing women's underwear? Yeah, bro!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"No. Women will not buy their underwear in a bar,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"but men will buy the underwear for their women in a bar..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I'm wearing them because I want to turn you on. You know what I'm saying?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"what do people love more than anything else in the world?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"They love comedy! They do love comedy."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Everybody loves comedy, right? So- And I'm funny. I can do funny."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You get out of the shower in the college dorm."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"They got the butt, right? People are laughing. Okay."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Now that's funny. That's funny. That is funny."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Ding-ding-ding!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, it's a baby dick."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We are gonna sell a million of those, dude. We'll do black ones..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Dicktowel.com."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I don't get it? Huh? Open your mouth, bitch. What?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"So this is your plan? You're gonna go into the convention..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You give this to people. They put it on their desk."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"No, and I don't know why you think we're gonna catch him having an affair."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"She's an attractive lady, you know? She's not attractive."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We were staking you out last night- kinda spying on you. Mm-hmm."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Okay. I hate to disappoint you, but I am not having an affair."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"All right, listen. If you must know,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Mmm. Sad."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"It all comes together- That makes a lot of sense though."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You must be all ripped up about that."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Okay, consumer, are you ready to get blasted in the mouth by Paddy's Shotgun?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and eagles flying through the air and picking up trout out of rivers and shit."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Then we'll let the brainiacs in China figure out the technology."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- What is that? - Paddy's Shotgun, bro!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"change the name of it and then sell it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Yeah. Take a look at Hard Rock Cafe. Got tweaked by Planet Hollywood."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Our job is to step aside and let the consumer decide."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Kiss it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Knock, knock. - Hey, friend!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"so we're kinda hoping that this is sort of a compensation of sorts."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Sandy does that. Sandy."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- She's the payment. - Lawyer, check out this freakish whore we found."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We paid her. So we're gonna have them have..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, yeah. No, it's terrible. He's all broken up about it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I'm gonna toss a frame bang your way."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and I ease into her real nice."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Yes, you are. We're tweaking your idea."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"For free? No problem."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I was talking about making love to her sweetly while she sleeps."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"if they agree to sign a contract that grants you..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"50% of the merchandising rights for Paddy's Pub?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Fifty percent? I'll take it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Deal. Yes!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"What the hell you doing, dude? I'll just eat the contract later."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and this very large-breasted woman who's gonna be shooting the gun into your face."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Okay. I like that idea. Yeah!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"So sorry, sir. They duct-taped me to the bathroom sink."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"How in the hell did she get out of that? I don't know."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Yeah, that's good."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Go, Frank, now. Go."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Paddy's Pub,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Do shots as they were intended..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Dick towel! Dot-com."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Nudie pen!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"# All the gangbangers forgot about the drive-by #"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Egg. - So come on, dude!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Get blasted!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You know, and we just didn't have time. God, that was terrible."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I told you! People love stupid shit!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh. The contract that you all blindly signed..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And Kitten Mittens- I own that."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Dude! I had to get paid by you people somehow."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I happen to have that right here."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I knew it!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You can probably stop eating that now."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Is your cat making too much noise all the time?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Is your cat constantly stomping around, driving you crazy?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Finally, there's an elegant, comfortable mitten for cats."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I couldn't hear anything."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"That doesn't matter, 'cause one size fits all."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"of, like, a hundred alley cats tapping on my windows, trying to get in."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Right? I'm making a quieter cat."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And then I made the sales tape when I heard about the merchandising convention."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Thank you. Uh, what merchandising convention?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And two, uh, nothing."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I think it's a good idea. We could do T-shirts."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We could do beach towels, those nudie pens."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Okay. It's about time, you know, we get some merchandise in here,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You don't own a piece of the bar. No, but I own..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"a hundred percent of the merchandising."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"It's in my contract. What contract?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Okay? We're never gonna merchandise anything in the bar."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"But now we are."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
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