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Clips from The Simpsons - How I Spent My Strummer Vacation (S14E14)

"But you did have violent diarrhea."
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"Remember how you got home last night, Dad?"
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"Of course."
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"There's no light rail in Springfield."
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"Oh, won't anyone pretend to believe me?"
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"All right, time for my favorite show."
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"...so we may present this cheaper show."
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"Taxicab Conversations."
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"Hey, I read about this show in Teen Modern Maturity."
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"They film passengers with cameras and catch them at their most uninhibited."
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"Looks like somebody got down tonight."
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"Because when the beat is hot, the..."
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"- Hey, can you keep a secret? - What is it, hon?"
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"I hate disco."
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"It's just getting harder, you know."
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"I had no idea Disco Stu was so complex."
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"I don't remember anybody telling me I was gonna be on TV."
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"- So, what do you do for a living? - Oh, you know, I'm a guy at a place."
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"Can't imagine my life without them."
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"Pretending not to remember so you could surprise us."
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"At the end of a hard day..."
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"...there's no better feeling than coming home to the people that you love."
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"I had no idea, Dad."
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"I just assumed with all the stranglings, you know..."
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"That my family isn't the center of my universe?"
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"Then there's those other days..."
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"...then, bam, some babe gets her claws in you..."
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"...and, boom, you got a bunch of kids that always needs love."
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"So whammo, you get stuck in some boring job..."
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"...where they don't let you play guitar or take pictures of naked women."
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"...and kiss your dreams goodbye."
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"Oh, I can't believe they took Monkey Trauma Center off for this."
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"Lousy family."
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"So I'm just some babe who sank her claws into you."
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"Oh, I don't resent you, sweetheart."
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"What I was trying to say, and maybe I didn't use the right words..."
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"- But as coffins go... - Please don't say anymore."
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"Sorry we ruined your life, Homer."
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"- Get in. - What?"
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"A place where you'll never be bothered by your family again."
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"Oh."
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"Get out of the car, Homer."
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"You can't just leave me out here. There's not another woman for miles."
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"Sorry, Dad. Maybe now you'll appreciate us."
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"Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy Camp."
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"The Rolling Stones' Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy Camp."
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"But I thought you guys were mad at me."
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"For once in my life, I'm confused."
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"...that even though what you said about us was incredibly thoughtless..."
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"- Damn straight. - You work a job you don't like..."
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"So to say thank you for all your sacrifices..."
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"...we spent our family vacation fund on something that's just for you."
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"- Do you like it? - You guys are the best."
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"I love you. I love you. I love you... Ugh, oh."
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"Hey, what gives? Where are all the rock stars?"
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"- Hello, campers. - How you doing?"
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"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's Mick Jagger and Keith Richards."
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"Welcome to Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy Camp..."
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"...where you'll experience the complete rock 'n' roll lifestyle..."
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"...without the lawsuits and STDs."
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"- Whoa! STDs! - Now, you're all here for one reason..."
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"- To rock! - Who said that?"
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"Rule number two, no outside food."
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"Not today, I got a ton of paperwork to catch up on."
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"Ah, tell me about it. At my job, we... Oh, you're gone."
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"I thought he'd be all like, "I'm a rock star. Aren't I great?""
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"But he's just like you or me or Jesus over there."
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"People, if everyone's gonna pick guitar, I'm not gonna have enough."
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"- Oh, come on. - There's lots of other fun instruments..."
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"...like bass."
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"Come on, who'd like to be a bass player?"
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"Out of my way, nerdlinger."
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"- My image. - Get me the Strat."
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"Ooh, "I'm telling Mr. Jagger.""
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"The clothes you wear on stage should be a defiant statement of individuality."
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"Like this, Mr. Kravitz?"
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"God, no."
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"May we talk about, uh, accentuating the masculine area?"
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"Did you hear that, people? Apu asked about crotch stuffing."
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"I trusted you!"
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"Now, a guitar has many, many nicknames."
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"An ax, a gitbox... Well, I guess that's it."
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"- Mr. Seltzer? - Setzer."
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"No, I think it's Seltzer."
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"- What is it, Homer? - I came up with a stage move..."
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"Sorry, Mick!"
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"Simpson!"
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"Okay, strut, strut, strut..."
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"I'm the burning fire"
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"Everybody's naughty..."
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"...and freeze finish."
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"Ow."
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"No matter where you are..."
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"Yeah, sure I did. But only because Springfield really is the wildest town..."
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"Lyrics are the hardest part of songwriting."
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"When you come up with something meaningful and heartfelt..."
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"- Boring. - Will you stop saying that?"
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"...and getting drunk and boozing it up."
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"Girls that have legs and know how to use them."
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"Precisely."
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"Yeah!"
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"Getting away from the gig can be a matter of life and death."
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"Okay, follow me."
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"I'm entitled to a private life. I'm not a role model and so forth."
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"Good, Homer. Now, just past the groupies and we're home."
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"We know."
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"You ain't never caught a rabbit"
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"Well, what do you think?"
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"Uh, you rock, Homer."
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"- What the hell are you doing here? - Camp is over, Homer."
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"- It's been a week already? - I'm glad you had fun."
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"My lawn's not gonna mow itself."
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"I'll take that."
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"It came with a pick."
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"- You knew this day was coming. - I knew nothing."
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"Never."
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"My dream has been shattered into shards of a broken dream."
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"I was so close to being a rock star..."
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"I'll just have to settle for being a fat, bald, fat nothing."
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"Now, before I lock the door, do you have to go to the bathroom?"
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