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Clips from Superstore (2015) - Amnesty (S03E03)

"- This never gets old. - Why are you doing this?"
Superstore (2015)
"Amy frenched her man,"
Superstore (2015)
"So, then I go, "I'm undocumented,""
Superstore (2015)
"and then Jeff goes, "That's why you dumped me?""
Superstore (2015)
"and I go, "Mm-hmm.""
Superstore (2015)
"- He doesn't hate you. - He might."
Superstore (2015)
"For all I know, he's reported me by now."
Superstore (2015)
"you know, a bunch of guys in uniform"
Superstore (2015)
"And then, you'd probably get sent to Guantanamo."
Superstore (2015)
"Man, how weird are sponges?"
Superstore (2015)
"and this stupid video."
Superstore (2015)
"Robin killed himself."
Superstore (2015)
"Do you have any idea how many customers"
Superstore (2015)
"This is a fireable offense."
Superstore (2015)
"However, we're giving that person one chance."
Superstore (2015)
"You come forward today, admit what you did,"
Superstore (2015)
"and admits to doing something wrong"
Superstore (2015)
"How do we know if you tell you something,"
Superstore (2015)
"- She does love birds. - Yeah."
Superstore (2015)
"- I don't know. - Who do you think did it?"
Superstore (2015)
"I don't have any more information than you do."
Superstore (2015)
"Well, we don't sell boats,"
Superstore (2015)
"- but cool. - Okay."
Superstore (2015)
"Hey, Jeff, um, third call."
Superstore (2015)
"or would or wouldn't."
Superstore (2015)
"and not one employee has confessed,"
Superstore (2015)
"Can someone please open a register?"
Superstore (2015)
"All the registers should be open."
Superstore (2015)
"Where is everyone?"
Superstore (2015)
"There's just so many of you."
Superstore (2015)
"but, um, I'm not sure"
Superstore (2015)
"Then we'll tell you if your thing"
Superstore (2015)
"- Um, the letter "U"? - Yes, "U.""
Superstore (2015)
"Okay, now give me the second letter, and then we can just go back and forth."
Superstore (2015)
"Utah!"
Superstore (2015)
"Trying to stay away from all the looks"
Superstore (2015)
"No."
Superstore (2015)
"of "Material Girl" on alto sax..."
Superstore (2015)
"They started teasing this fat kid instead,"
Superstore (2015)
"Sex."
Superstore (2015)
"No, it's not."
Superstore (2015)
"Okay, so, I'm the one who's been stealing the shopping carts,"
Superstore (2015)
"- on Wednesdays and Fridays. - What?"
Superstore (2015)
"Right under our noses. How awful."
Superstore (2015)
"I go to the Cinnabon and go nuts."
Superstore (2015)
"It's so good."
Superstore (2015)
"I stole a pack of Sour Cherry Bubblicious."
Superstore (2015)
"The elevator pitch is bum fights on crack."
Superstore (2015)
"ignited the corn starch,"
Superstore (2015)
"causing a big explosion on the third floor..."
Superstore (2015)
"- Oh, gosh. - Yes."
Superstore (2015)
"So, you film homeless people"
Superstore (2015)
"Aw, it's not just this store, it's the whole world."
Superstore (2015)
"Now, you just keep that same face right there..."
Superstore (2015)
"I don't know what you're saying to me."
Superstore (2015)
"and putting on a fedora."
Superstore (2015)
""Employees should avoid discussing racial issues,"
Superstore (2015)
"or doesn't even apply."
Superstore (2015)
""A female employee's skirt shall start below the knee,"
Superstore (2015)
"and her bosom shall be fully covered"?"
Superstore (2015)
"- That's a rule? - Yeah."
Superstore (2015)
"from whoever's working café."
Superstore (2015)
"Couldn't you just lie about that?"
Superstore (2015)
"Oh, she loves that daughter."
Superstore (2015)
"Oh, hey."
Superstore (2015)
"Yeah?"
Superstore (2015)
"'Cause we were just about to have a nooner."
Superstore (2015)
"Watch out, Cloud 9's about to get real hot up in here!"
Superstore (2015)
"and just not getting to make out."
Superstore (2015)
"Guys, something just happened!"
Superstore (2015)
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it... it's... it's like CPR, you know?"
Superstore (2015)
"okay, so that people would stop saying we wanted to kiss."
Superstore (2015)
"That sounds stupid."
Superstore (2015)
"- And boom! Amnesty. - Ok... okay."
Superstore (2015)
"Uh, as you all know, from time to time,"
Superstore (2015)
"we have a guest speaker..."
Superstore (2015)
"So... I would like to introduce you to Pastor Craig."
Superstore (2015)
"You know the rules about religion at work."
Superstore (2015)
"- of the people who work here... - Amen."
Superstore (2015)
"- Hallelujah. - Yeah."
Superstore (2015)
"Justine."
Superstore (2015)
"I love you."
Superstore (2015)
"but he loves the sinner."
Superstore (2015)
"Example: Sandra..."
Superstore (2015)
"Who is Sandra? Where is, uh..."
Superstore (2015)
"All right."
Superstore (2015)
"Now, Sandra, it... it says here"
Superstore (2015)
"Ye"
Superstore (2015)
"Well, I... put on a hoodie that covers my face."
Superstore (2015)
"to a library in a far-away town."
Superstore (2015)
"and Google how I'm thinking of killing her"
Superstore (2015)
"- The small... - Tire gauge."
Superstore (2015)
"Yes, thank you. I need a tire gauge."
Superstore (2015)
"I told ya, you take away the punishment,"
Superstore (2015)
"There was no fireable offense."
Superstore (2015)
"Actually, we Christians believe that all people are sinners."
Superstore (2015)
"We all thought we were gonna die."
Superstore (2015)
"Weren't you praying to Allah the whole time?"
Superstore (2015)
"- What... no, I didn't... - Glenn..."
Superstore (2015)
"I am not the one on trial here."
Superstore (2015)
"You know what, nobody's on trial, okay?"
Superstore (2015)
"- Nobody. - We all make mistakes."
Superstore (2015)
"So you say,"
Superstore (2015)
"No, uh, actually, we're... we're dating, so..."
Superstore (2015)
"It doesn't matter."
Superstore (2015)
"Look, Amy is not my soul mate, okay?"
Superstore (2015)
"There, I said it. Okay? Are you happy?"
Superstore (2015)
"So... stop."
Superstore (2015)
"- He didn't know. - Do you still love each other?"
Superstore (2015)
"Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh."
Superstore (2015)
"She didn't know that he didn't know,"
Superstore (2015)
"- I'm kind of Team Amy now. - Yeah."
Superstore (2015)
"I'm with you. I'm fully shipping them."
Superstore (2015)
"- Yeah. - Mm-hmm."
Superstore (2015)
"Yep. How are you doing with everything?"
Superstore (2015)
"That's a good one."
Superstore (2015)
"Mm-hmm."
Superstore (2015)
"Really? So, you've never gotten stoned at work"
Superstore (2015)
"but I am not cool with him kissing my head."
Superstore (2015)
"everything just got blown out of proportion."
Superstore (2015)
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