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Clips from New Girl - Kids (S01E01)

"But I just want you to know that you can ask me anything."
New Girl
"- Really? - Yeah, anything."
New Girl
"- Are you in love with my dad? - Mmm..."
New Girl
"Do you and my dad ever dry lump?"
New Girl
"- Is sexting cool? - What? No. It's not cool."
New Girl
"Have you done a 99?"
New Girl
"I think that's a tax form."
New Girl
"- You ever given anyone plow chops? - I don't know."
New Girl
"How do you make love to a person animal style?"
New Girl
"Do you wanna learn how to play bridge?"
New Girl
"I've been doing some thinking..."
New Girl
"and I think it's time that I take you on a real date."
New Girl
"- You're asking me out on a date? - It'll be our first real date."
New Girl
"Italy on Ice is a celebration of all things Italian."
New Girl
"Featuring ice dancing's biggest and brightest Italian stars."
New Girl
"Drea de Matteo is scheduled to appear, but they're not liable if she doesn't."
New Girl
"I can't go right now."
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"It's a really bad time, okay? I'm sorry. Just..."
New Girl
"Take someone else."
New Girl
"- You mean, like, another girl? - Yeah, Schmidt."
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"That's what this is. That's the deal."
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"- Just take someone else, okay? - All right, sure. I'll just..."
New Girl
"I'll ask somebody else. I'll just... Yeah."
New Girl
"Totally."
New Girl
"With these VIP tickets I got..."
New Girl
"What?"
New Girl
"It's popcorn in Italian."
New Girl
"I don't think you should be rushing into these things."
New Girl
"- You need to look for a partner who... - Ew."
New Girl
"- You said "partner." - I know. That sucked. I'm sorry."
New Girl
"Look, as your friend, Jess... Not Miss Day."
New Girl
"- Just choose someone who makes you laugh."
New Girl
"Yeah. Wait, what?"
New Girl
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I love Nick so, so, so much."
New Girl
"- He's so hot. - That Nick?"
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"I wanna rub my face on his face."
New Girl
"Just to be clear. I am dialing another woman to go see Italy on Ice right now."
New Girl
"That's fine. Do it. - Hey, guys. Not now."
New Girl
"- Oh, it's ringing. - Don't care."
New Girl
"- This room cannot take more hormones. - Unh. Unh."
New Girl
"I love the juxtaposition of the hi-brow literary with low-brow youth culture."
New Girl
"It's almost too much juxtaposition for me, you know what I mean?"
New Girl
"It's right up to the line of juxtaposition, but I think I'm gonna let it slide."
New Girl
"- You've got Nick. - Hey, Nicole."
New Girl
"- What's going on? - What it be, girl? What you got going on, ma?"
New Girl
"It's the freaking weekend."
New Girl
"- Did you just call me a "girl"? - Are you wearing something sexy?"
New Girl
"- Button-down and jeans like always. - You got jeans on, baby? Are they tight?"
New Girl
"- They're a little loose. I buy them big. - Them jeans sound sexy."
New Girl
"- Everything all right? Hang out more? - You taking care of that tushy for me?"
New Girl
"I'm not doing, like, squats or anything?"
New Girl
"- I'm trying to eat less doughnuts. - You still keeping it tight?"
New Girl
"You're an idiot."
New Girl
"What? I thought this is what you wanted."
New Girl
"This is a really good example of people who should not be making love."
New Girl
"- Cece, are you okay? - Damn it."
New Girl
"You don't understand. I love Nick so, so, so much."
New Girl
"He's so hot, I'm gonna die."
New Girl
"Sarah, Nick is way too old for you. I live with him. He is dirty and weird."
New Girl
"No, no, no. - Sarah. Not Nick's room."
New Girl
"It's not well ventilated in there."
New Girl
"Let's see. We get there a little early, maybe get you in the shower."
New Girl
"Maybe a once-over with some disinfectant."
New Girl
"Hey. Yard sale. Pull over."
New Girl
"- No. - Somebody rich died. I can smell it."
New Girl
"Joe, I'm trying to get you to the show on time."
New Girl
"- Whoa, whoa, what are you doing? - I'm getting out of the car."
New Girl
"Yeah, baby. Yard sale."
New Girl
"Yeah. Oh, I feel so alive."
New Girl
"Ah! I got a charley horse. Oh, God."
New Girl
"Hey, Sarah?"
New Girl
"- Can you come out of Nick's room? - I'm going to roll in his dirty clothes."
New Girl
"- Schmidt asked me out. - Oh."
New Girl
"- He came over and asked me out. - He never asks me out."
New Girl
"I can't go on a date with him."
New Girl
"- Sarah! Shh! - I've had enough of this. Listen to me!"
New Girl
"Listen to me. All right, you little brat!"
New Girl
"You just need to be quiet because I need my friend to focus on me right now!"
New Girl
"What are you doing? You know how much this means to me."
New Girl
"Don't let your dysfunction rub off on her."
New Girl
"- I am gonna be a terrible mother. - Oh, no, no."
New Girl
"- A terrible mother! - Shh."
New Girl
"- I'm gonna be like my mother. - Gonna be a fashionable mom."
New Girl
"Gonna make this right, okay?"
New Girl
"Hey, Sarah?"
New Girl
"Look, you should definitely not be having sex right now at this age."
New Girl
"But when you do, just make sure you always use protection..."
New Girl
"because even if he says it's tantric and you're Indian and you know better..."
New Girl
"you're just gonna end up pregnant anyways."
New Girl
"What?"
New Girl
"- Cece, are you pregnant? - Whoa."
New Girl
"Sarah, Nick has one tie. See if you can find it."
New Girl
"No. Okay? I don't know."
New Girl
"We have to wait for the test results, but I'm late."
New Girl
"Oh, my..."
New Girl
"We made a caramel miracle."
New Girl
"Ha, ha. You pregnant. You pregnant. Ha, ha."
New Girl
"Oh, my God."
New Girl
"You got Cece pregnant?"
New Girl
"- We used protection. - Think she did it on purpose?"
New Girl
"An Indian-Jewish baby? Who wouldn't want that bone structure?"
New Girl
"Okay, I'm not ready to be a godparent. Don't ask."
New Girl
"- No one's asking you. - Good. I'm not ready to be an uncle."
New Girl
"- You're not my brother. - Are you sure you're okay about this?"
New Girl
"I am oddly calm about the whole thing. Look, Nick."
New Girl
"Maybe this isn't exactly in my five-year plan, but maybe this is fate."
New Girl
"You know, maybe I hit the jackpot."
New Girl
"Maybe this is the universe telling me I'm never gonna find a better girl."
New Girl
"- By the way, I'm Schmidt. - Chloe."
New Girl
"Mazel tov on your news."
New Girl
"Oh, my God. Finally, Nicholas."
New Girl
"- You bring home a nice girl. - Right?"
New Girl
"So that was crazy what happened with my friends, right?"
New Girl
"Your life is like Gossip Girl, only everyone is old and poor."
New Girl
"You know, there actually was a show like that."
New Girl
"It was called Golden Girls."
New Girl
"I'm Betty White, Schmidt is Rue McClanahan..."
New Girl
"- Don't you think Nick is hot? - Nick? Um..."
New Girl
"Yeah, in a rumpled, small-town PI kind of way."
New Girl
"What's he like in the morning? Do his eyes get sleepy?"
New Girl
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