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Clips from New Girl - Kids (S01E01)

"Does he love stuff? I wanna love what he loves."
New Girl
"Do you think that we'll ever do animal style?"
New Girl
"Four minutes. We eat in four."
New Girl
"I made you a mocktail."
New Girl
"- Cece, are you crying? - No."
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"No. I just... I don't know."
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"You are an amazing woman."
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"And you're going to do and be so many things in this life."
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"Maybe you'll be a mom, and maybe... Maybe not."
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"But I will support you no matter what."
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"- Thank you. - I also wanna give you a quick heads-up."
New Girl
"I'm gonna be going on the Internet before we have sex again..."
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"because I just don't want to impregnate the baby."
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"You know? We could have a Russian nesting-doll situation on our hands."
New Girl
"So Sarah and I learned to use the pasta maker today, which was cool."
New Girl
"- Are you and Nick making love? - Hm?"
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"- Who wants seconds? - Yeah, I'd love seconds, Jess."
New Girl
"If you're a boy, I'm gonna name you Mordechai."
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"Or Abraham. Menahmenendo."
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"Schmiersen."
New Girl
"- Well, time for dessert. - Oh, don't get up. I will take care of it."
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"Oh, thank you. That's so thoughtful."
New Girl
"See? Thoughtful and mature. In your face. Yes!"
New Girl
"Congratulations. You're dating a girl with basic table manners."
New Girl
"You win. Why don't you get on her health-care plan?"
New Girl
"I'm so excited to take this journey with you."
New Girl
"I mean, your boobs are gonna be unbelievably enormous."
New Girl
"Sarah, do you wanna go help Chloe with the dessert?"
New Girl
"- I hate her. - You don't know her well enough to hate her."
New Girl
"Yes, I do. I know her."
New Girl
"- She used to ride on my school bus. - No..."
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"- Wait, what? - Oh, my God."
New Girl
"That's why you look familiar."
New Girl
"You were the crazy little kindergartner who had the imaginary friend."
New Girl
"Oh, you're that skank with the skank face."
New Girl
"I know you're trying to look cool in front of you-know-who."
New Girl
"- You told him? - No."
New Girl
"- You told him! - I did not tell him."
New Girl
"Oh, my God, Jess."
New Girl
"What are you saying? When was the last time you were on a school bus?"
New Girl
"- Last year. - How old are you?"
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"- Eighteen. - Ugh..."
New Girl
"I think I subbed for your English class."
New Girl
"- That's right. Hi, Miss Day. - Hi."
New Girl
"- Good thing I got you an extra shirt... - Screw this."
New Girl
"Whoa, Joe, Joe. Where you going? Where you going?"
New Girl
"Don't make me chase you. Do not make me chase you."
New Girl
"Joe, come back!"
New Girl
"Unh!"
New Girl
"You okay?"
New Girl
"Leave me alone."
New Girl
"So come on, man, what's up?"
New Girl
"I mean..."
New Girl
"He thinks he's better than me."
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"He wins the Super Bowl and suddenly he's the best."
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"What's he better than you at, huh?"
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"Marriage, probably. Money management, I would say."
New Girl
"He's better at that. He's not better at yard sales."
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"- He's good at yard sales. - He's not better."
New Girl
"You're gonna walk into that studio and show him the Napoli that I saw today."
New Girl
"The one that I saw grabbed seven copies of Speed on VHS..."
New Girl
"at a yard sale for a fraction of the retail price."
New Girl
"- When is the last time Strahan did that? - Heh, heh."
New Girl
"- Boom. You're not gonna let him win. - I'm gonna do it."
New Girl
"You gonna do it? - That guy's a B-hole!"
New Girl
"You know what? If you were a woman, man, we'd be unstoppable. Mmm."
New Girl
"Eighteen years old. She was 18 years old."
New Girl
"She doesn't even know what Netscape is."
New Girl
"She thinks of Ice Cube as mainly an actor."
New Girl
"This is a disaster. Ouli's downstairs. She called me. She wants to be let up."
New Girl
"Sarah's in my room, because she fell in love with you for some reason."
New Girl
"Might as well call you Bridge to Terabithia. You make children cry."
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"I might as well call you Indian in the Cupboard..."
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"because you put an Indian in... Never mind."
New Girl
"- I will not apologize. - Why are young girls in love with me?"
New Girl
"We're gonna fix this because I'm not losing Russell..."
New Girl
"because you two have to make and/or date babies."
New Girl
"You, go stall Ouli. Try not to get her pregnant."
New Girl
"You, come with me and get Sarah out of my room. Now."
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"- I'm gonna go do Ouli. Yeah. All right. - I'm gonna do this."
New Girl
"Oh, my God. It's Schmidt."
New Girl
"How are you? Oh, my God. It's so good to see you."
New Girl
"- Great. - Yeah. Havasu?"
New Girl
"'99? I was on the boat."
New Girl
"- Remember? We were just... Yeah. - No."
New Girl
"Winter Olympics. Uh-huh."
New Girl
"- 2006. Bobsled. - No."
New Girl
"Sarah, I know that you think you're in love with me right now..."
New Girl
"but I promise you, you're gonna find someone better."
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"No. No, I never will!"
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"I can be an anchor. I've been known to drag women down."
New Girl
"- That is true. Save me."
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"- Why? This is so entertaining. - Okay, honestly, help me."
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"- I don't know what to do. - Okay. Just tell her something about life."
New Girl
"Hey, Sarah."
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"Sarah, I haven't loved somebody the way you love me in a very long time."
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"And I miss that feeling."
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"The feeling you have is good. It's just misplaced."
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"It's better than being numb your whole life. You end up doing weird things."
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"You know what? Just stay in there. It's not that great out here."
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"- Stay in there as long as you can. - He's kidding, Sarah."
New Girl
"You should definitely, definitely come out."
New Girl
"- Oh, my God. The Melman funeral? - No."
New Girl
"We were both sitting next to Uncle Jack."
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"- Yeah? Sure. - I don't know Uncle Jack."
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"I used to do your hair in Tribeca."
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"- Sarah? - Sarah, please."
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"Sarah, please come out."
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"I can't come out. I'm too embarrassed."
New Girl
"In front of us? We are literally the most embarrassing people on the planet."
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"Yeah, you don't have to be embarrassed around us."
New Girl
"Sometimes they talk louder to blind people."
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"I'm 30 years old and I've peed in every pool I've been into."
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"- Every single one. - Ew."
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"I originally grew these bangs because I hate my forehead."
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"I think it's funny when a guy puts balls under his shirt and pretends it's boobs."
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"- They look like little boobs. - I know. Ha, ha, ha."
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"Come on, Sarah."
New Girl
"Look, I do so many stupid things."
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"You don't even know. I mean, like..."
New Girl
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