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Clips from Mr. Mayor - The Sac (S01E01)

"I was being cool AF-- cool as Fonzie--"
Mr. Mayor
"."
Mr. Mayor
"- Alexa, what's the temperature in Sacramento?"
Mr. Mayor
"- The weather today in Sacramento is sunny"
Mr. Mayor
"with a forecasted high of 71 degrees."
Mr. Mayor
"- That's my capital city."
Mr. Mayor
"Alexa, play a song about Sacramento, California."
Mr. Mayor
"- I'm sorry."
Mr. Mayor
"I don't know any songs about Sacramento, California."
Mr. Mayor
"- Whoa. Then let's make one up."
Mr. Mayor
"♪ I'm packing for the Sac'"
Mr. Mayor
"♪ Sweet Sacramento"
Mr. Mayor
"♪ There's no takin' it back"
Mr. Mayor
"♪ Do me right, Sacramento"
Mr. Mayor
"♪ Ho, yeah"
Mr. Mayor
"Alexa, what's the population--"
Mr. Mayor
"- Sorry, Arpi."
Mr. Mayor
"I really need to get my kids' breakfast now."
Mr. Mayor
"- Of course. Sorry, Alexa."
Mr. Mayor
"I'm just excited 'cause I'm going to--"
Mr. Mayor
"- Sacramento. I know."
Mr. Mayor
"Jeez."
Mr. Mayor
"[bright music]"
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"- The parks department finally cleaned"
Mr. Mayor
"the bat guano off the Hollywood sign"
Mr. Mayor
"and returned it to its original orange color."
Mr. Mayor
"- Sorry I'm late. - Good morning, Mr. Mayor."
Mr. Mayor
"How was your weekend?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, I had a fantastic weekend with Orly."
Mr. Mayor
"We went to Huntington Gardens for the honey festival."
Mr. Mayor
"- So nice."
Mr. Mayor
"Okay, uh, where was I?"
Mr. Mayor
"- They have this thing where you get to decorate"
Mr. Mayor
"a little tote bag,"
Mr. Mayor
"and then you get to keep the tote bag."
Mr. Mayor
"- Your life is a movie, sir. - Next item."
Mr. Mayor
"Uh, this is a heat map of violent crimes and--"
Mr. Mayor
"Sir, you're AirPlaying your phone."
Mr. Mayor
"- I know."
Mr. Mayor
"I wanna show everybody a picture of the tote bag."
Mr. Mayor
"- Ooh, a bee apartment."
Mr. Mayor
"- Okay, uh, other items while we wait."
Mr. Mayor
"Deputy Mayor Meskimen and Mr. Kwapis"
Mr. Mayor
"will be driving up to Sacramento"
Mr. Mayor
"to present our anti-oil-drilling initiative."
Mr. Mayor
"- Los Angeles has over a thousand drilling sites,"
Mr. Mayor
"many within a hundred yards of schools and homes."
Mr. Mayor
"I was pleasantly shocked"
Mr. Mayor
"when Mayor Bremer agreed with my plan--"
Mr. Mayor
"- Oil's dumb."
Mr. Mayor
"We're California."
Mr. Mayor
"We should be leading the way on this stuff."
Mr. Mayor
"Solar power, wind, fire power--"
Mr. Mayor
"Is that a thing? 'Cause fires we got."
Mr. Mayor
"- If I can convince the governor"
Mr. Mayor
"to prioritize the health of our communities--"
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, there it is. [chuckles] Tote bag."
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, she is majestic."
Mr. Mayor
"- [laughs] [cell phone ringing]"
Mr. Mayor
"Wait, what's happening?"
Mr. Mayor
"- I think your daughter's school is calling."
Mr. Mayor
"- It's a phone call, sir. - Oh, yeah. Hello."
Mr. Mayor
"- You have to turn your phone off AirPlay, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"- No, the screen is the phone now."
Mr. Mayor
"Hello. Mayor Bremer here."
Mr. Mayor
"- Hello? Can you hear the mayor?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Suspended? That doesn't sound like Orly."
Mr. Mayor
"All right. I'll be right there."
Mr. Mayor
"- Sir?"
Mr. Mayor
"Sir, quick question. - Not now, Jayden."
Mr. Mayor
"- I'm scared to be in a car with Ms. Meskimen."
Mr. Mayor
"- You'll be fine."
Mr. Mayor
"- But the trip is six hours, sir,"
Mr. Mayor
"and I don't know what we're gonna talk about."
Mr. Mayor
"- Jayden, how am I the one you're asking about this?"
Mr. Mayor
"- You're the only one I can walk as fast as."
Mr. Mayor
"- Ask her questions about herself."
Mr. Mayor
"People love talking about themselves."
Mr. Mayor
"- Great. What kind of questions?"
Mr. Mayor
"- I don't know-- uh, icebreakers,"
Mr. Mayor
"conversation starters."
Mr. Mayor
"You know, Google it, for crying out loud."
Mr. Mayor
"- Will do."
Mr. Mayor
"And somebody turned on the long legs."
Mr. Mayor
"[panting]"
Mr. Mayor
"- Here at Gregory, we take online behavior"
Mr. Mayor
"as seriously as we do sock height."
Mr. Mayor
"And it seems Orly is part of a group"
Mr. Mayor
"that was using social media to bully a teacher."
Mr. Mayor
"- Can children bully adults?"
Mr. Mayor
"'Cause in my day,"
Mr. Mayor
"teachers could hit us with a closed fist."
Mr. Mayor
"[foot thumps] Ow."
Mr. Mayor
"I read her the American Girl Doll puberty book."
Mr. Mayor
"- Allow me to read a few of the offending comments."
Mr. Mayor
"It was so gross, but I did it."
Mr. Mayor
""Ms. Adams is like if the water"
Mr. Mayor
"When she told me her celebrity crush,"
Mr. Mayor
"at the top of a yogurt were a person.""
Mr. Mayor
"I stood with her in the front row"
Mr. Mayor
""Ms. Adams took a DNA test."
Mr. Mayor
"of a Shawn Mendes concert."
Mr. Mayor
"Everyone thought I was a pedophile."
Mr. Mayor
"Turns out, she's 100% russet potato.""
Mr. Mayor
"- I know, but we really have to figure out this budget, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"- [laughs] Like the song."
Mr. Mayor
"Apparently, the city's Discover card"
Mr. Mayor
"No, of course. That's--that is terrible."
Mr. Mayor
"- But my posts are all defending Ms. Adams."
Mr. Mayor
"has hit its limit,"
Mr. Mayor
"Guys, stop."
Mr. Mayor
"and some bitch is calling, like, every day."
Mr. Mayor
"I think it's feminist"
Mr. Mayor
"- Uh..."
Mr. Mayor
"that she dances alone at our formals."
Mr. Mayor
"- Don't listen to her, Mr. Mayor."
Mr. Mayor
"Finstas ruin lives."
Mr. Mayor
"You're wrong."
Mr. Mayor
"It's so brave that she brought her gerbils on Family Day."
Mr. Mayor
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