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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Bracelet (S01E01)

"You got a little scruff going. It's cute."
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"Man, they shoot themselves in the foot..."
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"I don't know if I could switch to milk. You know, cholesterol."
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"So tell me about the trip. What..."
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"Either forgiveness or the sex."
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"I'm not expecting both."
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"and I came home..."
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"You haven't shaved?"
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"and my attention was diverted and..."
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"You gotta get her a gift."
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"Oh, yeah!"
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"Piece of gum?"
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"Look at this. What should we do?"
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"I'm gonna dial a number. If a woman answers the phone, just hang up..."
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"- It's not on a thing? - There's only two bracelets in..."
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"Smarty pants. Closed."
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"- LA Farm. - All right, you drive."
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"So what? Come on, like we're in New York again."
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"- No. Why? - I got it, it's fine."
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"That's why we can have sex with anyone and they can't."
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"Yes, they can't just have sex with any man."
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"I'm missing something."
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"What?"
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"Look at this."
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"- On what the waiter's getting? - No, the waiter was good."
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"What does a captain do?"
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"Who is this captain out of the clear blue sky?"
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"Let's go. Thanks for lunch, by the way, and thanks for the penis talk."
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"Next time, there'll be a space for a lieutenant..."
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"I can't believe you stopped. I've been standing here for over an hour..."
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"- What do you need? - Thank you so much."
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"to help me move them to the corner, so I don't trip over them."
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"Just right around the corner."
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"Yes, I know, it's a terrible imposition. I'm sorry."
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"- How you doing? - Hi."
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"Thank you."
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"- Thank you very much. - It's our pleasure."
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"You have no strength. You're so fucking dainty."
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"- Back up! - You're like a goddamn lion tamer."
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"Thank you so very much, Richard."
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"Good. Thank you so very much."
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"Get the TV from the bedroom?"
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"Why did we move it in the bedroom then? Why is it in the bedroom?"
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"It doesn't work over here. You'll ruin the whole hearth effect."
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"What in the name of God am I gonna do with a TV in my room? I'm blind."
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"- Richard! - I'm sorry."
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"Yeah."
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"You helped a blind man, and, to me, this was a great day."
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"Every day's a great day for me."
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"It's a lot of work for volunteering."
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"And you know what? I passed by that jewelry store on 23rd..."
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"- I almost bought it. - Really?"
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"- That doesn't make sense. - I know it doesn't, it was stupid."
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"I can barely move. I'm just shocked."
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"The restaurant called while you were in the shower."
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"All right, it's yours."
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"Could you please do me a favor? I think you're blocking my car."
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"- Yes, I did. - You had this table, too, right?"
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"Normally, when we have good service, we get tips."
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"I'll move the car for you. Just give me the keys."
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"Stay here, do your work, and I'll just go move the car."
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"Wait!"
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"All right, come on, Vinny."
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"Good. Good catch. Get out of bounds!"
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"What did... Get out of... Oh, my God, why didn't he get out of bounds?"
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"What a moron!"
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"It's only two yards that you're gonna get. So what? You don't need two yards."
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"You got two and a half minutes to go, you got to get out of bounds."
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"I hate watching them."
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"They just aggravate me so much."
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"All right. Yes! Go!"
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"Beautiful, first down, excellent. That's the call!"
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"- Hi, honey! - Hi."
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"Cheryl's home."
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"No, she went to visit her mother in Tallahassee for four days."
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"Okay, I'll see you later."
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"- Hi. Welcome home. - Thank you."
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"Good to be home."
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"Good to see you."
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"How've you been? What's been going on?"
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"- Nothing. - Yeah? You got a little..."
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"What?"
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"The prostitutes don't mind it."
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"No? Good."
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"- They give you a discount? - They do, they get off on it."
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"- My God, I'm so tired. - Really?"
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"There was a three-hour difference..."
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"You should go up and take a nap."
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"I'm too wound up right now."
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"You know little Griffin, my youngest nephew?"
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"Yeah."
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"He wanted to play on the stairs, and my sister's like, "No, it's too dangerous.""
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"Okay, why don't you just watch your game?"
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"Come on, it's the last two minutes. I'll be right up, okay?"
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"every single time they get in this position."
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"Somebody told me today that too much soy makes your brain shrink."
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"Kind of scared me a little bit."
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"I've been having soy for breakfast with my cereal, everyday for the last 10 years."
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"What am I gonna do, switch to milk now?"
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"Can't win, really."
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"How's your cousin, Griffin?"
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"How's your mother and everything?"
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"She's sarcastic wonderful, or just..."
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"Does that mean she's not wonderful or..."
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"- Just the sarcasm, it's... - No, she really is wonderful."
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"I'm sorry about..."
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"what happened downstairs when you got home."
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"I was watching the game..."
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"and it was the last two minutes."
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"That's fine."
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"Doesn't sound like it's fine."
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"It's, you know..."
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"I'm sensing rancor."
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"Or is it "ranker"? "Rancor"?"
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"- I know how to spell it. - Larry, please, it's fine."
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"I don't know what you want me to say right now."
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"How about:"
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""Honey, I forgive you. Would you like to have sex?""
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"How about that?"
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"Or any combination of that."
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