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Clips from The Simpsons - Bobby, It's Cold Outside (S31E31)

"Hey, let's see what's on your tag."
The Simpsons
""Cadaver-sniffing dog"?!"
The Simpsons
"Ah, that's another job I didn't get."
The Simpsons
"(breathing heavily)"
The Simpsons
"(chuckling)"
The Simpsons
"Another crafts project gone out of hand?"
The Simpsons
"-Yes. -If you're not tied up tomorrow,"
The Simpsons
"I took the day off from work."
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"I was thinking we could watch an R-rated movie."
The Simpsons
"Finally, the sexy story of Tony Roma's ribs."
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"But tomorrow I promised the kids I'd take them out of school."
The Simpsons
"It can be our family day."
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"And the giant candy canes are not real."
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"But they are electrified!"
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"Well, we're going and taking the kids."
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"Why couldn't that be me?"
The Simpsons
"(horns honking)"
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"¶ Baby shark, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ¶"
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"¶ Baby shark, doo-doo- doo-doo-doo-doo ¶"
The Simpsons
"-¶ Baby shark, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ¶ -Oh, God, I'm so sick of this."
The Simpsons
"-¶ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ¶ -I don't want to hear a shark"
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"-¶ Mommy shark, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ¶ -Marge, you traitor!"
The Simpsons
"-It's so catchy. -¶ Mommy shark, Daddy shark, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ¶"
The Simpsons
"Oh, what the hell."
The Simpsons
"ALL: ¶ Daddy shark, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ¶"
The Simpsons
"¶ Daddy shark, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ¶"
The Simpsons
"¶ Daddy shark. ¶"
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"Play this at my funeral!"
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"Why do the low-budget parks we go to"
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"Oh! Boy, that's good."
The Simpsons
"Why? Why?"
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"Well, I'm getting right in line for Santa."
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"Eight hours to see a fat lazy drunk-o?"
The Simpsons
"I came to this park to get away from one."
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"Wow. Even Chanukah Hollow is packed."
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"Check out the Dreidel Casino."
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"Ah, shin again!"
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"I thought this would be"
The Simpsons
"(chuckles)"
The Simpsons
"(groans)"
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"Typical."
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"At least you get to have fun."
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"(camera clicks)"
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"Hey, buddy, thanks for saving me a spot."
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"Bart, you cut the bullies."
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"(grunts)"
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"In this situation, we assign equal blame"
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"to the cutter and the cuttee."
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"Let him go. I don't want to get blood"
The Simpsons
"on my Christmas sweater."
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"Oh, there's gonna be blood on your sweater, all right."
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"I just said I didn't want that!"
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"(grinding)"
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"Hello, young man."
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"Climb right up."
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"Santa? Bartholomew Simpson."
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"-You don't know me, but... -Oh, but I do."
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"Hello-ho-ho, Bart."
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"Sideshow Bob!"
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"(laughing maniacally)"
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"He's in a good mood."
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"Yes. This is the year I get the monkey."
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"I'm raising a kid. I think I can raise a monkey."
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"(thunder crackles)"
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"I can't kill you!"
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"-Want to know why? -Mm, nah."
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"I am a trained method actor."
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"I inhabit my roles."
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"Like Daniel Day-Lewis in Phantom Thread."
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"Or Mike Myers in The Love Guru."
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"Because I am utterly incapable of stepping out of character."
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"I am Santa Claus."
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"Ho, ho, ho."
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"MAN: So can we get in to see you?"
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"Ooh..."
The Simpsons
"(all groaning)"
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"I'm telling you, this is Sideshow Bob!"
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"-He tried to kill me! -Well?"
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"I am a card-carrying seasonal Santa."
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"Kris Kringle Union, Local 5732."
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"Hey, I was a mall Santa, too."
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"I still wear the belt."
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"you have to pose for a photo."
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"Photos with Santa, $40."
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"Marge, just take one with your phone!"
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"-Got it. -Run!"
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"This will stop the jerks who've been stealing packages"
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"off my porch: a decoy with an exploding dye marker inside."
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"You don't think you packed in a little too much gunpowder?"
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"Relax. I learned how to do this from my Uncle Two Fingers."
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"-Eh. -Can you whisper it?"
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"-Eh. -Can you write it with your blood?"
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"Ooh."
The Simpsons
"haven't arrived."
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"Marge, relax. There's plenty of time."
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"It's 8:00 p.m. Christmas Eve!"
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"Just sit back and watch this Fox News yule log."
The Simpsons
"("Silent Night" playing)"
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"We interrupt this yule log with a special report."
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"Package delivery thefts continue in Springfield."
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"Local man Leonard "Lenny" Leonard"
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"had his jingle bell rung in a package deal gone boom."
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"He's not a corpse. He's breathing."
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"-I say he's a corpse. -(blows) And I say I'm not."
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"(gasps) "S.B." is Sideshow Bob!"
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"That's what he's up to."
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"A fellow Santa could not steal Christmas."
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"I know who this mysterious "S.B." is."
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"Uh, tell Scott Bakula, Steve Ballmer"
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"and Sandra Bullock they're off the hook."
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"two hours ago."
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"Why don't you just Quantum Leap there?"
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"Why don't you learn how to be a cop, fatso?"
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"Everything we do is successful, booyah!"
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"¶ ¶"
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"What do you want to go there for?"
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"(scoffs) I'm saving Christmas."
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"And as for you, Santa's Village is closed, I'm afraid."
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"If I wanted your life story, I would've taken an Uber."
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"I'm not gonna leave"
The Simpsons
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