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Clips from Family Guy - Cat Fight (S18E18)

"maybe I'd finally find a man."
Family Guy
"(laughing)"
Family Guy
"You's joining me."
Family Guy
"-Peter, we have to talk. -What fireworks?"
Family Guy
"After what happened today with Meg and Chris at school,"
Family Guy
"I sent an e-mail to my sister, and five minutes later,"
Family Guy
"Google Ads suggested a Christian family camp."
Family Guy
"Yeah, the world's better now that corporations read"
Family Guy
"our most private communications and then sell back at us"
Family Guy
"Even before this, I'd worried about"
Family Guy
"our church attendance dropping off."
Family Guy
"well, we may all need to go to Christian family camp."
Family Guy
"Lois, you know I love you like a brother, but I'm not doing that."
Family Guy
"I'd only get in an awkward, campfire-crackle argument"
Family Guy
"with a counselor."
Family Guy
"Uh, actually, what Jesus has"
Family Guy
"is the might of Western civilization."
Family Guy
"Jesus has guns, germs and steel."
Family Guy
"Sorry, the wood is very wet."
Family Guy
"Uh, actually, the wood is very dry."
Family Guy
"Wet wood hisses, dry wood crackles"
Family Guy
"during uncomfortable silence."
Family Guy
"(fire crackling)"
Family Guy
"I like cutaways where I get to be smart."
Family Guy
"What the... what the hell is that?"
Family Guy
"(gasps)"
Family Guy
"(cats hissing)"
Family Guy
"Hey! Shut up! (bleep)"
Family Guy
"Don't look at me! I'm dominant!"
Family Guy
"Brian? What are you doing here?"
Family Guy
"What am I doing here? What is all this?"
Family Guy
"I happen to own this place. It's a cat café."
Family Guy
"That's why they're hissing."
Family Guy
"Actually, frightened cats hiss."
Family Guy
"Angry cats moan."
Family Guy
"It's right next to my favorite bar."
Family Guy
"I'm not going anywhere."
Family Guy
"Fine. But I am about to become your worst nightmare."
Family Guy
"No way. I've already had my worst nightmare."
Family Guy
"I've told you about my worst nightmare, right?"
Family Guy
"-No, I-I don't think so. -Oh, boy, get comfortable."
Family Guy
"Well, first, I'm driving through a forest,"
Family Guy
"but it's actually inside, which is weird, right?"
Family Guy
"-Okay. -And there's all these people"
Family Guy
"in the van who normally wouldn't know each other in real life:"
Family Guy
"my second grade teacher, my mom, Joe, but it wasn't quite Joe."
Family Guy
"All the kids are yelling at me in German,"
Family Guy
"and I understood them, but I don't speak German."
Family Guy
"Then SNL is starting, and I'm clearly in the cast,"
Family Guy
"and I haven't been to any of the rehearsals,"
Family Guy
"and all the cue cards are blank, and that show is all cue cards."
Family Guy
"And just as that's sinking in,"
Family Guy
"I realize I'm also the musical guest."
Family Guy
"I mean, I can't pull that off."
Family Guy
"Who do I think I am? Silverchair?"
Family Guy
"-And the weird thing is I have this dream over and over... -Wait a minute."
Family Guy
"Listening to other people's nightmares"
Family Guy
"I got to shut down that cat place."
Family Guy
"(horn honks)"
Family Guy
"Okay, Peter, the kids and I are off to church camp."
Family Guy
"Meg, Chris, the vans are here."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute."
Family Guy
"-You got any booze in that bag, mister? -No, sir."
Family Guy
"Well, then, how you gonna make any friends at camp?"
Family Guy
"Here you go."
Family Guy
"Now chug all this next to a lake, you little rascal."
Family Guy
"BRIAN (amplified): Shut down the cat café!"
Family Guy
"(sighs) Oh, for God's sake."
Family Guy
"City ordinance 321(c) states, "Food or drink shall not"
Family Guy
"Damn it, Brian."
Family Guy
"Also, Persian cats?"
Family Guy
"Let's call them what they are: Iranian cats."
Family Guy
"This entire operation needs to be shut down."
Family Guy
"And as long as Brian's got your attention,"
Family Guy
"is it taking anyone else longer to wipe?"
Family Guy
"More wipes these days?"
Family Guy
"I'm taking shorter poops but with longer wipes,"
Family Guy
"I swear to God, it's like there's a crayon down there."
Family Guy
"Wait, excuse me for a minute."
Family Guy
"Son of a gun, it was a crayon."
Family Guy
"Thanks for letting me talk that out, everybody."
Family Guy
"(amplified): Wikipedia states that"
Family Guy
""Toxoplasmosis is a parasitic disease spread by exposure"
Family Guy
"to infected cat feces.""
Family Guy
"Damn it, Brian, get out of here."
Family Guy
"You're scaring away my customers."
Family Guy
"They also ring you up on one of those tablets"
Family Guy
"they flip around at you and then glare"
Family Guy
"while you pick from three inflated tip percentages."
Family Guy
"You can also choose "no tip.""
Family Guy
"But that option is, by design, much less prominent."
Family Guy
"You're a jerk."
Family Guy
"But fine, if it's a fight you want, you got one."
Family Guy
"Well, that's enough of that show."
Family Guy
"But, Dad, we want to see what happens at Christian camp."
Family Guy
"All right. But they're on thin ice."
Family Guy
"Welcome to Sunrise Woods Bible Camp."
Family Guy
"I'm the camp director Vera."
Family Guy
"Why are all these trees bunched together?"
Family Guy
"Th-Those are woods, Chris."
Family Guy
"I only like rooms."
Family Guy
"What a lovely setting."
Family Guy
"Yes, the fresh air really helps"
Family Guy
"clear your mind of thoughts of Tom Selleck."
Family Guy
"Oh. How frighteningly specific."
Family Guy
"Ugh, Mom, this place sucks."
Family Guy
"It's even worse than when Dad sent us to 1940s comedy school."
Family Guy
"Say, Corporal, what are you writing in your diary?"
Family Guy
"It's private. Take a look."
Family Guy
"Now, that's some good, clean fun."
Family Guy
"Also in the 1940s, six million Jews died."
Family Guy
"That's it, we're done."
Family Guy
"This show is not for the Bugsteins."
Family Guy
"Good evening. Quite a battle brewing--"
Family Guy
"clever news pun, doesn't really work as I haven't yet mentioned"
Family Guy
"the subject of the story-- at Quahog's new cat café."
Family Guy
"Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa filed this report."
Family Guy
"Tom, I'm standing here outside of Quahog's new cat café."
Family Guy
"Local resident Brian Griffin has described the café"
Family Guy
"as a threat to public health."
Family Guy
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