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Clips from Superstore (2015) - Employee Appreciation Day (S04E04)

"I mean, not you specifically, obviously,"
Superstore (2015)
"but labor of some sort."
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"Aww."
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"always seems to fall right around when people are"
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"Mm."
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"Anyway, we're gonna have little special surprises all day long."
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"- We've got a masseuse... - all: Ooh."
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"And we've got Cloud 9 Frisbees for the kids."
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"higher wages, and job security."
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"Sorry, for the massages, should we be in, like, a towel"
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"or just totally buck naked?"
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"Neither, fully clothed."
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"Clothed for the ice cream too?"
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"It's ridiculous how often I have to say that."
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"You missed me."
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"and all of our associates are getting free ice cream."
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"So if you're wondering why everything's sticky,"
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"that's one of the reasons."
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"Have you tried the Cloud 9 Corporate sundae?"
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"a very, very tiny bit of ice cream"
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"No, actually, I tried the Union Surprise."
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"but then they shut down the store and fire you,"
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"I can't believe you're siding with corporate."
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"Jonah, what do you want me to do?"
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"They will shut down the store. You know that."
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"Oh, okay, so now you're leading a nationwide movement?"
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"If not now, when?"
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"Literally any other time."
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"Just not right when I finally have a job that pays well and has a future."
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"Okay, so this is about you saving your job?"
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"Yeah, and everybody else's."
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"I mean, you might have nothing to lose,"
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"but a lot of us can't just say "[bleep] corporate,""
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"You guys fighting?"
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"- No. - We're fine."
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"Guys, don't fight."
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"Yeah, that definitely looks infected."
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"I have to sleep face down with a wet towel on my back."
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"Maybe you shouldn't get a massage."
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"It's a free massage."
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"My cousin went to Mexico,"
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"and they injected cement into her face."
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"Still in there."
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"You can hear it rattle when she talks."
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"So, you guys are all thinking about joining, huh?"
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"It's just that, like, I don't a union giving out"
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"free ice cream and Frisbees, you know."
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"Yeah, but they give out other stuff."
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"Like, Mr. Lackman's still there, and he's married to a sophomore."
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"Seems pretty cool to me."
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"If your skin was rotting, you would smell it, right?"
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"Hey, the whole store is signing union cards."
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"but the signatures still count."
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"Then once Marcus went union,"
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"They actually consider him to be a leader,"
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"Well, we gotta do something. What do we do?"
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"No, those videos are so dumb."
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"Yeah. Okay, what else could we do?"
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"Cloud 9, a great place to shop"
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"and a great place to work."
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"Everybody wants to be here, including unions."
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"People are trying to watch."
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"But before you decide, there are..."
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"Studies show that employees"
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"at a non-union facility are"
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"more engaged and happier."
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"Yeah! Don't try to come between me and Cloud 9."
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"Not sure who I feel about this new MC Cool Cloud."
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"Yeah, there's something profoundly disturbing about"
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"seeing a two-dimensional cartoon character in three dimensions."
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"a bald child with a deformed head."
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"- It's like a bruised apple. - I know."
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"No union better mess with my family."
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"Oh, MC Cool Cloud, you're gonna be the best dad."
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"- Whoa! - What?!"
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"I'm sorry, did MC Cool Cloud just impregnate a human?"
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"Okay, does anybody have any thoughts about the video?"
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"I mean, I'm a little disappointed."
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"I thought you were showing us "Paddington.""
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"Uh, no, I never said..."
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"I don't know where these "Paddington" rumors got started."
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"I thought it was a one-sided, fear-mongering"
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"piece of corporate propaganda."
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"Oh, I thought you did when you said,"
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"Well, I found it interesting to learn that"
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"unions actually limit communication."
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"Good point, Dina."
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"It's like when you have a problem,"
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"or do you wanna have to go through some shop steward like in the video?"
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"Definitely you. That guy was a dick."
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"Where do I know him from?"
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"Oh, he's in that rheumatoid arthritis commercial"
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"where he can't pick up his grandkids and he's sad."
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"Oh, yeah, and then the dog drops the ball at his feet,"
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"and he just shakes his head like, "Can't do it, buddy.""
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"Aww."
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"So, if you can just help us with our problems,"
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"my hours keep getting cut,"
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"Well, I do help you with that, because I pay the rent."
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"- All: Oh! - Oh, snap."
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"This is definitely better than "Paddington.""
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"All I'm saying is that unions aren't always right,"
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"and corporate isn't always wrong."
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"That's not what you said when they made you come back"
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"to work two days after having a baby."
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"Yeah, you were livin' la vida pissed."
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"I bet you get maternity leave now, though."
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"Oh, yeah, there's a really great plan for managers."
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"This isn't about me."
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"I'm never getting pregnant again, so..."
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"Sure, but other people might be... wait, never?"
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"- I don't know. - I mean, I don't know"
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"- where this is going, but... - I just-I haven't thought about it."
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"Yeah, I haven't thought about it either, but it's a conversation"
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"- we should have at some point. - At some point, Jonah, not this point."
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"So you thought, "That first one killed.""
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"I'm gonna go back to that well.""
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"I don't understand the obsession with procreation."
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"The whole planet's got, like, maybe ten years left."
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"Just enjoy it."
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