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Clips from New Girl - Eggs (S02E02)

"So I'm good at this, right?"
New Girl
"Schmidt, in my professional opinion, you have definitely earned the rank of..."
New Girl
"And I will use a phrase you coined. - Vagenius."
New Girl
"Thank you. Thank you so much. I really needed to hear that, Sadie."
New Girl
"[WHISPERS] You gotta go."
New Girl
"Hey, Winston, we're going on an adventure."
New Girl
"We need real-life experience. Like Hemingway."
New Girl
"- Whoo! I feel like Hemingway. - This is life experience?"
New Girl
"The zoo is the best we can do. But it's got everything."
New Girl
"It's got life, animals, man, beast."
New Girl
"Look, I'm sorry, it's just, I'm not supposed to be awake because of my..."
New Girl
"BOTH: Adjusted schedule."
New Girl
"Hey, man, 13 minutes of sleep. Honestly, seriously, 13 minutes. That's all I got."
New Girl
"You're starting to look like a pillow. All I could think was, "Nick looks exactly like a pillow.""
New Girl
"- Hmm? What? NICK: You need sleep."
New Girl
"But I'm out here with you. Okay? I love you and I want you to finish your book."
New Girl
"Okay, but check out where we are."
New Girl
"This is experience. This is what's firing me up to get back to writing."
New Girl
"This is kind of what it's all about."
New Girl
"- Heh. What are you doing? - It's writer's fuel. That's what Hemingway said."
New Girl
"Sadie, um, hey, I just... I just want you to know that I am, um..."
New Girl
"I'm like... I'm okay with whatever you tell me."
New Girl
"I'm just like, if you say, "You've got a year," that's fine."
New Girl
"If you say, "You can have kids till you're 80," fine."
New Girl
"If you say, "You are barren," um, I'm... I'm okay with that too."
New Girl
"Um, just, why am I the only one talking? Just lay it on me. What's inside my body?"
New Girl
"Everything looks good, Jess. Hormone levels are outstanding."
New Girl
"I mean, I don't know how you're walking around with this many eggs."
New Girl
"[IN SOULFUL VOICE] I'm the egg queen. I'm queen of the eggs."
New Girl
"- Cece. - Mm-hm?"
New Girl
"You know what? Maybe we should talk in private."
New Girl
"[IN NORMAL VOICE] Cece. Cece. Cece, wait. Do you wanna talk?"
New Girl
"Jess, you don't get it."
New Girl
"Sadie basically just told me that if I want to have a kid, I have to start right now."
New Girl
"Right now."
New Girl
"I thought I had all of this time."
New Girl
"I didn't wanna have to think about this."
New Girl
"I know, I know. I'm sorry."
New Girl
"I made you take the test. What can I do?"
New Girl
"Make me a guy so I don't have to worry about this."
New Girl
"You know what? Yes. Yeah."
New Girl
"Let's be guys. Just for today."
New Girl
"Let's care about stupid things and talk about sharks..."
New Girl
"...and sci-fi movies and making everything wireless."
New Girl
"[IN DEEP VOICE] Dude, my phone is wireless, my computer's wireless..."
New Girl
"...everything's wireless. Yeah."
New Girl
"- You're a terrible guy. JESS: Come on. Ha, ha."
New Girl
"[IN NORMAL VOICE] No, I'm the best guy. Come on. Come on."
New Girl
"SCHMIDT: Okay, how was that?"
New Girl
"Ahh. Eh."
New Girl
"Why, though, with the "eh"?"
New Girl
"Unbeliev... But I played out your most secret fantasy."
New Girl
"French maid handyman does..."
New Girl
"- Studio 54. ...Studio 54 busboy."
New Girl
"- I know. It's disappointing. - I killed it."
New Girl
"I picked you because I'd heard you were amazing."
New Girl
"I have it on good authority from my model ex-girlfriend..."
New Girl
"...and an actual lesbian gynecologist..."
New Girl
"...that I know exactly what I'm doing, so it's gotta be you."
New Girl
"It's us. This doesn't work."
New Girl
"When I got divorced, I thought I could go out there..."
New Girl
"...and have all these new experiences."
New Girl
"The contract of sex with someone at work who was so far beneath me, you know?"
New Girl
"Someone basically just powerless."
New Girl
"I guess I have to feel something."
New Girl
"Okay, see, I'm not like that. I don't even understand that concept."
New Girl
"- My ex-girlfriend, the model? - I know she's a model."
New Girl
"We would have sex and it was just, like, I was happy."
New Girl
"You know, we were connected. I wasn't thinking about anything."
New Girl
"- What is that? - That is love, you idiot."
New Girl
"Yuck."
New Girl
"- It sucks. - So I have to be in love to have good sex?"
New Girl
"Think about me. I gotta go out in the world and meet people. Date."
New Girl
"You're gonna be great."
New Girl
"- You think? - Yeah."
New Girl
"Consider our sex contract void."
New Girl
"- How am I gonna get the feathers off? - No idea."
New Girl
"Jess and that girl!"
New Girl
"[NICK LAUGHS]"
New Girl
"Oh, I'm so glad they're here."
New Girl
"Getting a lot of work done?"
New Girl
"- Who wins, me versus gorilla? Go. - Gorilla."
New Girl
"- No, but in a contest. - Gorilla."
New Girl
"- Yeah, but in a competition. - Uh, gorilla."
New Girl
"- You don't get it. - Are you just drunk at the zoo right now?"
New Girl
"- Let's go look at snakes. - Okay."
New Girl
"You know what? I don't think we should act like the guys."
New Girl
"Jess, what am I gonna do?"
New Girl
"[SIGHS]"
New Girl
"CECE: What am I gonna tell Robby?"
New Girl
"You are Mexican west coast rattlesnakes, and they call you "fangtastic.""
New Girl
"[CHUCKLES]"
New Girl
"No one ever calls me anything like that."
New Girl
"Nick, what are you doing? This is not life experience, this is procrastination at the zoo."
New Girl
"- I don't think it is. - I need some sleep. I gotta work tonight."
New Girl
"Congratulations, I'm glad you found your passion and that you love what you do..."
New Girl
"...but enough, don't throw it in my face. - Is it like that?"
New Girl
"- Don't throw it in my face. - I got off my adjusted..."
New Girl
"Don't say "adjusted schedule." Super annoying."
New Girl
"- Adjusted schedule. - Stop saying it."
New Girl
"Say it again, I'll let the snakes out."
New Girl
"NICK: I will let..."
New Girl
"These guys have done a pretty good job keeping that sealed."
New Girl
"- Nick, you're not a finisher. Not a finisher at all. - I am a finisher."
New Girl
"- That's why you didn't finish law school. - Dude."
New Girl
"Why you're three episodes into Downton Abbey."
New Girl
"Too many characters. It's hard to follow."
New Girl
"I get it, man, you're scared. And that's okay. Be scared."
New Girl
"I wanna work tonight at the job I'm passionate about."
New Girl
"[ELENI MANDELL'S "BUN IN THE OVEN" PLAYING]"
New Girl
"ROBBY: I'm glad you called me. I love the zoo."
New Girl
"You think I'm like a bear? I mean, I kind of move like a bear."
New Girl
"And I got that really long, sharp toenail that you love so much."
New Girl
"Hey."
New Girl
"Randa."
New Girl
"It says here you're 43."
New Girl
"Keeping it tight, girl."
New Girl
"[CHILDREN CHATTERING]"
New Girl
"- What do you think of kids? - I love kids."
New Girl
"- I would like to have children someday. - Someday?"
New Girl
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