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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Monopolar Expedition (S02E02)

"Third graders will create macaroni-art dioramas depicting scenes from my life."
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"Sure. Maybe a tableau of me trying to pummel you to death."
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"Sarcasm?"
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"I am on the horns of a dilemma."
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"Easy peasy. I'm doing it right now."
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"How often have we had to leave a movie theater..."
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"...because I got a headache from drinking the Icee too fast?"
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"...my best friend says, "Don't go.""
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"- All right, then go. - Listen to you."
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"How can I possibly go?"
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"...to end this conversation and let me go back to sleep?"
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"Just imagine. If he says yes..."
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"We could play outside."
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"We could sit on the left side of the couch."
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"I could use the bathroom at 8:20."
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"Our dreams are very small, aren't they?"
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"Good news, gentlemen. I have tentatively accepted--"
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"Oh, I don't like where this is going."
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"...that the three of you accompany me."
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"- To the North Pole? - Yes."
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"Is this just so we won't touch your stuff while you're away?"
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"I'll admit that was a concern."
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"I'm still within earshot."
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"You may wanna wait for my door to close."
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"We're not really gonna go to the North Pole with him, are we?"
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"Hang on, let's talk about it. This is a National Science Foundation expedition."
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"...with an anal nutbag.""
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"But if we were part of the team that confirmed string theory..."
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"...with a university that has a strong science program."
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"Howard, this is big science. You could be the engineer..."
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"...who builds the equipment that puts us on the cover of magazines."
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"You still might get on a magazine."
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"- You guys are seriously considering this? - Yes."
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"My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life, we are rewarded in the next."
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"...and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings."
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"Damn it. Peer pressure. Fine."
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"Excellent. And just an FYI, as I am the expedition's team leader..."
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"...protocol dictates that be phrased, "Fine, sir.""
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"Pssh!"
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"Penny?"
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"Sheldon?"
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"Penny. Sheldon."
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"Penny. Sheldon."
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"...to the Cheesecake Factory's walk-in freezer."
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"...the hamburger meat is fresh and stored at a safe temperature."
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"No, this is to train for a three-month expedition to the magnetic north pole."
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"What?"
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"I don't know how that sentence could possibly confuse you..."
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"...but to elaborate, I am going to the Arctic Circle..."
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"Excuse me."
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"Hey, Leonard. Sheldon says you're going to the North Pole."
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"Yeah. Pretty cool, huh?"
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"Yeah, I'm just a little surprised you didn't tell me."
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"...and study up on, you know, snow and stuff."
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"- Sorry, I was gonna tell you. - No, you don't have to apologize."
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"There's no reason you have to tell me. I was just surprised."
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"You were busy, you were surprised, all very fascinating."
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"Actually, it would help."
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"So, wow, three months at the North Pole."
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"- Wow, that is awesome. - Yeah."
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"Sorry but at what point do you put this "see what you can do" plan into action?"
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"Just a warning, Sheldon. The freezer locks from the outside."
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"- Did she seem upset to you? - No. Did she seem upset to you?"
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"- No. - Oh, good, I got it right."
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"A little bit."
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"...that I'm gonna be gone for the whole summer?"
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"That feels like a bonus question."
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"I'm gonna stop here while I'm ahead but I've had a great time."
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"...in extreme temperatures such as we will face in the Arctic Circle."
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"Then where are your tools?"
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"All right, team, open up your practice kits."
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"As the university did not permit me to bring the equipment we'll be using..."
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"...to the Cheesecake Factory, because apparently, I'm ridiculous..."
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"Leonard, you will be doing a series of complex mathematical problems..."
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"...on a vintage Casio model 1175 calculator watch I received..."
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"...when I won the Earth Science medal in third grade."
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"Treat it with respect."
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"Raj, you will be painting sideburns and a Vandyke..."
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"...on a 6-inch figurine of Legolas the Elf."
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"For this, I went to MIT."
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"I think I swallowed some paint."
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"I can't press any of the buttons with my gloves."
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"Oh, son of a bitch."
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"- Okay, I can't do this. - Me either."
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"Did Han Solo let Luke Skywalker freeze to death on the ice planet of Hoth?"
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"You heard the man. Hold him down and I'll cut him open."
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"Hang on. I know I don't possess the tools of leadership, but I don't understand..."
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"...why we can't assemble the equipment inside the hut and then take it outside."
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"Here, drink/eat this."
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"- What is it? - It's hot chocolate with a stick of butter."
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"...we need to consume 5000 calories a day to maintain our body weight."
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"You know I can't eat butter. I'm lactose intolerant."
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"...and tried to swim to Sri Lanka, would you?"
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"If you were standing behind me nagging, I might."
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"Don't talk back to your mother. This trip is much too dangerous."
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"If it'll make you feel better, my mother is fine with me going."
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"So she has no problem with her son being eaten by a walrus?"
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"That's very unlikely, Mrs. Koothrappali."
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"Can you tell them that you're okay with me going to the Arctic?"
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"He lives a secret life because he's ashamed."
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"Hey, Leonard, can I talk to you for a sec?"
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"Sure, but let's go out here where there's a little less yelling and guilt."
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"Well, I got you a little going-away present."
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"So you can, you know, be all snoodled up while you do your science stuff."
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"- See you later. - Bye."
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"MRS. WOLOWITZ: Because it doesn't make sense to me."
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"How can it be that in the entire country of India..."
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"- Sheldon? - I want a cookie, Meemaw."
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"- Sheldon, it's me. - But Meemaw just made cookies."
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"Listen, I don't know if I can go on the expedition."
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"- What? - I don't think I can go to the North Pole."
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"...I want you to take comfort from the knowledge..."
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"It's not a part I care for but such is my burden."
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"Assuming that's a valid reason not to go, which it isn't..."
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"...how do you know this? Did she say it?"
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"But she said she was gonna miss me and she gave me this."
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"- What is it? - It's a blanket with sleeves."
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"Let me see if I understand this."
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"Her missing you, is an emotional state you find desirable."
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"- Yes, obviously. - All right."
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