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Clips from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005) - Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare (S02E02)

"Deandra, move the pool table so you and your brother can lay some grout."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Yeah, have a good life now. - All right, look."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Please. What are you two gonna do?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Don't worry about us, Mac. We'll be just fine."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Yeah! What are you doing?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Well, I guess I could use this time to get my acting career off the ground."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Absolute... The old Dennis would have said, "Dee, your sad little acting ship sailed a decade ago."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- We can shove it in their faces. - Make 'em eat shit!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, look, we qualified."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- That's what it's there for, right? - In the meantime..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I'm trying to conduct important business back there."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"All right, all right, all right. Have you done the urinal?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Yeah, I know. - Look, bro. You gotta stop bossing us around, okay?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And that's all there is to it. Trust me. Trust me on that one."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I don't want a father figure."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Come down just a little bit."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"What the hell is this?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Is that a new watch, dude? - It is. It's awesome."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"All right, look, guys. We want you to come back to the bar, okay?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Unemployment runs out. And once it does, you guys are gonna be back out on your asses."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Welfare? - Mm-hmm."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"It's set up to continue..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I'm just setting up a temporary account in your name."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"in which businesses hire potential welfare recipients..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, I don't know what you're saying."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I know what it's like to grow up poor. We got to treat people with respect."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Because we understand the plight of the worker. - The plight!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Look at those massive thighs. - Yeah, those are good thighs."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Why not? - I knew you were gonna do that. Why are you going to him?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- So we were wondering, like, do you have, like, a face book? - Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Ooh, that's big. - The face book?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- We got this, so we'll read it. - Have a good one."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- I can't say I'm surprised. - We're not stealing your idea, okay?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Let's all recognize that this is a little awkward situation..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"That is an awesome helmet."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You're a recovering crack addict?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Yep. - Mm-hmm."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And she's mentally retarded?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You have the proper medical paperwork?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We're gonna need a physician's report to confirm your sister's mental illness..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Well, can't you see how retarded she is?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, they want to play rough? We can play rough. Let's go buy some crack."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Just enough to get into our system."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Then we'll go to the doctor, we'll get all of our paperwork, and we'll get full benefits."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Uh, one rock of crack. - One crack..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Tell you what. I'll make you a deal."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Really? - Oh, that sounds good."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Now, Maria, after you're done in the bathroom you come look for me..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Tony, go chase that leak down in the basement, all right?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Amen to that, brother. - Me too. I want to play Charlie."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Ooh, ooh. - Hey, that's not gonna... that's not gonna work out."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And why was I not made aware of this before?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Uh, it's got something to do with the vig."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- I'm a great guy! - We're all great guys who deserve vigs."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- We're good people. - All right, here's the plan. We're gonna slip out of here."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Just a little. - Just enough. He won't even notice it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Here's some for you! Here's some for you!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Dennis! - What happened?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We slept through a whole day?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- That guy. Yeah. - Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- I'm definitely gonna buy a bunch of crack. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Oh. - Hey."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Hey, how's it going? - Good. Real good."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Please? - Oh, um..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- I don't drink. - Me neither."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, shh-shh-shh-shh!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Y'ello? - This is Pam from First National Bank."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Maybe we should think about rehab."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Your positions have been filled. - So we're gonna take yours."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Did somebody get addicted to crack?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Why don't we go on inside where it's nice and warm and we can settle this like a family?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Stop a second. There are gonna be some changes made. - Okay."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"This shows leadership. I am promoting you to management."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Why would you do this to us, Dad?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Crack. Crack."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Dennis, stop acting like a child. - I don't want to hear it, Dad."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I am not laying grout."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- You guys are being babies. - Babies."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We're being babies, Mac? Why don't you go work for your dad all day?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- My daddy's in prison! - My daddy used to give hot shots to prostitutes."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Feel sorry for me! - I got the grout."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Dad, you're not even listening to us. - Are you really leaving?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Yes! - Later, bitches."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I know what you're doin'. I can play this game. Mac and me and Charlie can run the bar."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Weird, right? - We have aspirations outside of this bar."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We got big dreams, Mac. We're gonna go follow 'em."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You guys have nothing without this bar."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- So what are your dreams? - Hmm?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Your goals. What are your aspirations? - Were you serious about that?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Signing us up for unemployment benefits. - Unemployment? No."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You know? We can do anything we want if we put our minds to it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- And I fully support you. - You do?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"It's pathetic." But the new Dennis says that it's not my place to kill your pipe dreams."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- You should go for it. - Really?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Yes! Come on. This is America! We're gonna go for it! We're gonna work hard!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We're gonna reach for the stars! We're gonna become more successful than our parents."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Really? How much? - 400 a week."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- 400... That's more than we made at the bar. - I know."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Okay, new plan."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- We're gonna go on unemployment. - Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"we will focus and work hard and keep our nose to the grindstone."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Right?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Ready? - Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"One, two, three."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Goddamn it! - Wha... Why can you not lift your end?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- I don't know, dude. Let me figure out what is happening. - Are you lifting with your back?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Of course I'm lifting with my back. I think your end is lighter."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"The balls have rolled down to this end."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"No! You got to snap your back up and lift."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- I'm jerking my back up! What do you want from me? - Hey, what's the ruckus?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We finished with the tile. Now we're trying to move the pool table back."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Because the urinal, you flush it, and it sprays all over the place."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Look at me. I'm broken, dude. Look, I'm..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You guys need a father figure. And I'm trying to be that father figure..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and someday you're gonna thank me for it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You're gonna thank me for it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"He's not hitting it that high, you know?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- You got to split the difference. - Yeah, split the difference."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, living the dream, bro. Living the dream."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I thought you two were out looking for careers or something."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
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