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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Robots vs. Wrestlers (S05E05)

"Five front row tickets to Robots vs. Wrestlers."
How I Met Your Mother
"But we assume it's some sort of sporting event that pits robots against wrestlers."
How I Met Your Mother
"I understand. You're right."
How I Met Your Mother
"Tradition? We've never done this before."
How I Met Your Mother
"Any time I tried to get a little high-minded..."
How I Met Your Mother
"(MAKES FARTING NOISE)"
How I Met Your Mother
"(ALL LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother
"Five letters, blank baritone."
How I Met Your Mother
"(MAKES FARTING NOISE)"
How I Met Your Mother
"(ALL GROANING)"
How I Met Your Mother
"(SPEAKING ITALIAN)"
How I Met Your Mother
"What's this envelope? Is this a wedding invitation?"
How I Met Your Mother
"OLDER TED: Who was Marissa Heller?"
How I Met Your Mother
"That mystery began when Marshall and I first moved in together."
How I Met Your Mother
"And a coupon for a bird store addressed to Marissa Heller,"
How I Met Your Mother
"OLDER TED: And just like that, a picture began to take shape."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wow! This building is amazing!"
How I Met Your Mother
"(MAKES FARTING NOISE)"
How I Met Your Mother
"So that's Marissa Heller, huh."
How I Met Your Mother
"I love his juxtaposition between the North German Renaissance exterior..."
How I Met Your Mother
"And the decidedly French influence on the inside. I know!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Hmm?"
How I Met Your Mother
"and Giovanni Artusi simply didn't understand the new style of composing."
How I Met Your Mother
"Funny thing about Willem Dafoe."
How I Met Your Mother
"His name kind of sounds like a frog talking to a parrot."
How I Met Your Mother
"As Under Secretary of the Treasury, I had a big hand in crafting that legislation."
How I Met Your Mother
"(CLEARING THROAT)"
How I Met Your Mother
"His wife's a 500-year-old relic that hasn't been struck since W.S. Gilbert hit it"
How I Met Your Mother
"at the London premiere of The Mikado in 1885."
How I Met Your Mother
"Guys, guys, guys, guys, Will Shortz! Editor of the Times crossword!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Such a great party! Such a great party!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, totally. Ted, it's time to go. It's Robots vs. Wrestlers o'clock!"
How I Met Your Mother
"(BOTH LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother
"But, Ted, you've never missed Robots vs. Wrestlers."
How I Met Your Mother
"First, Robin ditches us and now you!"
How I Met Your Mother
"And for these stuffy, pretentious snoots!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Actually, I kind of like these stuffy, pretentious snoots."
How I Met Your Mother
"it's the end of our friendship."
How I Met Your Mother
"ROBOT: Is that all you got, bitch?"
How I Met Your Mother
"But can you at least promise me that you won't get pregnant for another year?"
How I Met Your Mother
"gong!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Constance will fulfill your needs"
How I Met Your Mother
"Fine, you guys can have a baby, but only under these conditions."
How I Met Your Mother
"Five, forget about four. You can whip them out whenever you want."
How I Met Your Mother
"(WRESTLER GRUNTING)"
How I Met Your Mother
"If you'll allow me. In the original Italian."
How I Met Your Mother
"(TED CONTINUES SPEAKING ITALIAN)"
How I Met Your Mother
"(ALL CHEERING)"
How I Met Your Mother
"(METALLIC CLANGING)"
How I Met Your Mother
"OLDER TED: Aunt Lily still likes to remind Uncle Marshall he once said this."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall, if we were at home with a baby tonight,"
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, how about this? We agree there's no sense in having a baby"
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, so, when we finally see Barney's doppelganger,"
How I Met Your Mother
"We'll even let you recite all the douchey poems you want,"
How I Met Your Mother
"(MAKES FARTING NOISE)"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm sorry. Someone had to do that."
How I Met Your Mother
"we didn't all drift apart a little at one time or another."
How I Met Your Mother
"Willem. Dafoe!"
How I Met Your Mother
"(CHUCKLING)"
How I Met Your Mother
"ENGLISH - US - SDH"
How I Met Your Mother
"(ALL CHATTERING)"
How I Met Your Mother
"Guess what I've got behind my back."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, wait, wait, wait. I got this one, left."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wrong game. But correct."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Robots vs. Wrestlers? - That is awesome!"
How I Met Your Mother
"- You've heard of Robots vs. Wrestlers? - Never!"
How I Met Your Mother
"That's exactly what it is, according to the Web site!"
How I Met Your Mother
"(MARSHALL CHEERING)"
How I Met Your Mother
"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who's the fifth ticket for?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Uh, Robin. I know, she moved in with her boyfriend,"
How I Met Your Mother
"and said she doesn't wanna hang out with us anymore."
How I Met Your Mother
"But this is Robots vs. Wrestlers."
How I Met Your Mother
"Robots vs. Wrestlers!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Barney is right. It's impossible to say no to that."
How I Met Your Mother
"No to that."
How I Met Your Mother
"I wish I could, but I have plans with Don on Saturday."
How I Met Your Mother
"- He's making me Chinese. - I'll assume you're talking about food."
How I Met Your Mother
"Otherwise, I have some follow-up questions."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm sorry, Lily, but I gotta give this thing with Don a chance."
How I Met Your Mother
"And I can't do that if I'm out drinking with you guys every single night,"
How I Met Your Mother
"especially when "you guys" includes two of my ex-boyfriends."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's just we all really miss you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, I miss you, too. Listen, I gotta go. Talk soon. Okay. Bye."
How I Met Your Mother
"Sorry, New York. I had to take that. Now, where were we?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, yes, bus crash."
How I Met Your Mother
"She said no? How could she say no?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Robots vs. Wrestlers is our most important tradition as a group!"
How I Met Your Mother
"It's Robots vs. Wrestlers, Lily."
How I Met Your Mother
"How is that not gonna be a tradition?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, this is how it starts."
How I Met Your Mother
"First Robin moves in with Don, then Marshall and Lily have a baby,"
How I Met Your Mother
"- then Ted... - Gets married."
How I Met Your Mother
"I was gonna say was found alone in his apartment, devoured by his cats,"
How I Met Your Mother
"but either way, not pretty."
How I Met Your Mother
"Everyone's leaving me and I don't like it!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, Barney, you don't have to worry about Marshall and me having kids."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's a long way down the road."
How I Met Your Mother
"Exactly. It's down the road, a medium way."
How I Met Your Mother
"A medium long way."
How I Met Your Mother
"- I mean, you can see it ahead. - In the vast, vast distance."
How I Met Your Mother
"But you're already seeing exit signs for it."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Really? I didn't see any. - You might wanna get in the right lane."
How I Met Your Mother
"I understand how you feel, Barney. Friendships are important."
How I Met Your Mother
"In fact, Emerson wrote a great poem entitled Friendship."
How I Met Your Mother
"You guys are gonna love this."
How I Met Your Mother
""A ruddy drop of manly blood The surging sea outweighs""
How I Met Your Mother
"(BARNEY MAKES FARTING NOISE)"
How I Met Your Mother
"(BOTH LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother
"OLDER TED: That's how it had always been for me with the gang."
How I Met Your Mother
"You guys, you gotta try this Syrah."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hints of crème de cassis, red berries, toasty oak..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hmm."
How I Met Your Mother
"Of course. "Lyric" baritone, which is actually higher than a dramatic baritone."
How I Met Your Mother
"You know, there's a telling moment in the second act of La Bohème..."
How I Met Your Mother
"(MARSHALL LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother
"Guys, come on. I'm just trying to add a little class to these proceedings."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's like that line from Dante's Inferno."
How I Met Your Mother
"- (MAKES FARTING NOISE) - (BOTH LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother
""Consider your origins. You were not born to live like brutes."
How I Met Your Mother
"(MAKES FARTING NOISE)"
How I Met Your Mother
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