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Clips from NewsRadio - Clash of the Titans (S05E05)

"You see what I'm talking about, judge?"
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"Oh, Johnny,"
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"you're drowning your sorrows"
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"in a bottle of very expensive champagne."
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"No, celebrating."
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"Who's in?"
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"I wouldn't mind having a snootful."
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"Why are you celebrating, boss? Mr. James is going to jail."
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"[SIGHS] All right."
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"It's all part of his evil plan."
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"You know, the evil plan"
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"Bingo."
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"So, Mr. James, would you care to tell the court"
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"how you came into the possession of the duffel bag"
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"I-- I was camping, you know, all alone by myself,"
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"just trying to get my head straight,"
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"enjoying some freeze-dried turkey loaf"
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"in God's country when, boom."
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"This guy comes parachuting out of the sky."
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"Lands on my pup tent and asks me to give him a lift into town."
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"Uh-huh. So you just gave this guy a ride?"
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"Yeah, can you believe it? After he trashed my tent."
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"so, uh, after I dropped him off,"
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"I noticed that he left his duffel bag"
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"in the back of my van and it was-- It was empty."
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"Mm-hm."
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"Yes, well, this is a very convenient alibi"
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"that you've concocted here, Mr. James."
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"Thank you."
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"Yes. And I suppose now that you're gonna tell the court"
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"you have no idea who this mysterious stranger was"
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"Well, yeah, I know who it was. It was Adam West."
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"Adam West? Yeah."
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"Batman?"
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"That's the one."
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"No. Adam West is not D.B. Cooper."
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"I'm afraid I was, Your Honor."
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"Again, Jimmy, I'm really sorry I got you mixed up in this mess."
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"Oh, don't worry about it. It's the least I could do"
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"for the kids of America."
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"I am, Your Honor."
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"I was short on cash."
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"I had bad representation. I was desperate."
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"Adam? I was the guy"
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"who jumped out of that plane..."
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"Adam? ...with that green satch-- Yes?"
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"You want to wrap it up?"
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"I surrender."
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"I throw myself on the mercy of this court."
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"[SIGHS]"
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"JIMMY: Adam!"
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"Sorry."
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"[♪]"
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"Hey, hey, hey, I'm back."
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"There's my little Beth."
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"Ow-- Ow. Ooh. What?"
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"Are you gonna shave that prison scruff?"
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"Oh, no, no, no, no. I thought I'd let it grow out a little bit"
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"because I'm a bona fide folk hero now, you know?"
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"Dude, you know Batman."
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"Yeah. That's true."
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"What's--? Now, look at that!"
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"That's a picture of my jail cell."
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"Yes, it is."
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"Yeah. See? I got your bunk beds there,"
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"and there's the toilet. Mm-hm. Yeah."
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"who wanted my home address. Remember him?"
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"Yeah. Thanks a-- Thanks a lot, Matt."
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"Okay."
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"Hey, Mr. James? Yeah?"
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"I, for one, would like to offer you"
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"my sincerest congratulations."
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"that unlike some people here,"
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"I was never fooled for one second"
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"That's a lie."
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"You've been dancing around Johnny like a trained monkey."
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"All right, wait. I have a question."
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"Anyone? Show of hands?"
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"Okay. Where's, uh--? Where's Johnny right now?"
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"like a lamb waiting for the slaughter."
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"All right. The Angel of Death has spoken."
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"Okay. You can watch if you want."
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"Uh, could you just try to go easy on him, Mr. James?"
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"What? Well, fire him, yeah."
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"Fire him. Just-- Just don't..."
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"Johnny."
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"Jimmy."
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"[DOOR CLOSES]"
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"[CHUCKLES] You old dog."
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"You look like, uh, you lost a little weight, huh?"
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"Yeah. Three words: Yeah."
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"fiber, fiber, fiber."
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"Yeah. She turned me down. Oh, that's too bad."
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"It bugged her that I was trying to steal your empire"
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"Tell me about it."
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"Don't get me wrong. I love the ladies."
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"I just don't understand them."
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"Yeah, well, you-- You call me when you do,"
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"because I'm like a blind man in a bookstore myself."
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"You know what I mean? You got that straight."
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"[BOTH CHUCKLE]"
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"By the way, you're fired."
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"Ha!"
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"You do know that while you were on the lam"
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"the board of directors elected me"
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"CEO of Jimmy James Incorporated."
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"Right. Right, Johnny. Yeah, my board of directors"
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"would never do that to me."
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"Of course, uh, I never thought my board of directors"
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"would be given naked hot-tub orgies either."
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"I guess you blackmailed them, huh?"
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"No, I bribed them."
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"And we had a naked hot-tub orgy."
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"You evil son of a gun."
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"Guilty as charged."
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"Just long enough to see J. James Incorporated"
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"turned into a penny stock."
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"All right. You win."
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"Dave, Dave, what can I say? The guy beat me."
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"Dave, don't you get it? I'm ruined."
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