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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - The Spite Store (S10E10)

"Oh, my gosh. Yeah, exactly."
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"Yeah, well... Sorry, I'm just like--"
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"It's all kind of coming back to me,"
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"'cause I had a bite of his scone, it was like, crumbly and dry,"
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"and it got caught in my throat."
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"They're terrible. That's a scone."
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"-I can't wait for you to try it. -(laughing): Okay."
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"Oh, my gosh. That's so moist."
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"-Right? It's supposed to be moist. -Yeah."
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"This whole thing with the dry scone, it drives me crazy."
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"-This is really good. -(chuckles)"
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"You think Larry David knows anything about making a scone like that?"
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"I'm sorry. Uh, did you say Larry David?"
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"Pull up a chair."
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"So. How do you know Larry?"
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"Uh, from the club. But we do not get along at all."
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"Mocha Joe: Welcome aboard."
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"-Oh, my God. -Mocha Joe: What's wrong?"
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"I just remembered I was gonna sue him for sexual harassment."
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"Mocha Joe: What?"
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"-He's absolutely... -Tara: He's so--"
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"Hey, hey, hey."
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"-Larry, uh, drove me. -Oh."
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"He was a complete mess. He never would have made it."
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"-Thank you for driving me. -Thank you. We appreciate that. Thank you."
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"Larry: Yeah. Very cute."
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"-Tara: Oh, thank you. -What's his name?"
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"-It's Kwame. -It's Kwame."
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"-Kwame. -Both: Mm-hmm."
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"Nice name."
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"A little-- A little light for a Kwame, no?"
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"-What? -A lot of names to pick, but--"
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"If he was a little darker, maybe."
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"-Yeah, can you go, please? -You need to get out."
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"-Will: Thanks. Thank you for-- Shh, shh! -(Kwame fussing)"
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"-Larry, get the fuck out. -(whispers): Got it."
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"You guys have a good night."
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"You know, if you wanna take off, I can close up."
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"-Really? -Yeah."
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"-You know how to do it? -Yeah. Charge the cups,"
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"That's the one I always forget. Lock the fuckin' door."
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"-Okay. Thanks. -Leon: Don't forget."
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"-Pfft. -(Leon harrumphs)"
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"-(soft smack) -(cup thuds)"
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"-(siren blaring) -Larry: Oh."
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"-(fire truck honks) -Oh. Oh, really?"
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"I'm on to you. It's not gonna happen."
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"Abuse that siren all you want. I'm not pulling over."
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"(flames roaring)"
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"-(horn blaring) -(inaudible)"
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"(siren wailing)"
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"-(siren wailing, horn blares) -Yeah, uh-huh."
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"♪ ♪"
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"Excuse me, sir. You can't be this close. It's not safe."
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"-Oh, jeez, I'm sorry. -Larry: What the hell? What, what happened?"
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"We won't know until we've got it under containment."
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"I just wish we would have gotten here sooner."
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"Some asshole didn't respect the siren."
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"Mocha Joe: No! No! What happened?"
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"Mocha Joe's!"
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"-What did you do? -I didn't do anything."
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"-What did you do? -Hey, look, my store's burning, too!"
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"What do you think I did? You think I burned my store down?"
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"First you open up a spite store,"
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"and then you burn my store down? Huh?"
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"I'm gonna sue you for everything you got."
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"-But I didn't do it! -Oh, I don't give a shit if you did it or not!"
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"We'll let the judge decide! You hear me?"
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"-(exploding) -(glass shattering)"
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"(indistinct radio chattering)"
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"Sorry about your place."
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"(scoffs) Unbelievable, huh?"
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"We did the best we could."
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"Tried to break one of the windows out,"
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"get some more hoses in there, but..."
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"Yeah, that's to prevent the table from wobbling."
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"Oh, you, you did that yourself?"
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"Yeah, I don't like wobbly tables."
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"which is an accelerant."
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"People love the Purell."
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"And the tables that didn't wobble."
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"Normally in this situation,"
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"if we can't break the windows to get more hoses in,"
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"we'd access the water from the toilets,"
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"-Yeah, there are no toilets. -What?"
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"Coffee's a diuretic, and you don't have toilets?"
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"Yeah, I didn't want any defecating in the store."
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"We had urinals."
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"Where? I looked in there."
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"Oh, no. You gotta press the button. That opens up a chute."
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"-What, like a secret compartment? -Yeah, kinda."
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"And, uh, the ladies, they, they hang from a bar."
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"Any idea how this started?"
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"Yeah, it looks like it started in the storeroom."
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"Someone knocked one of these self-heating cups off a shelf,"
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"it hit some papers, turned on,"
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"heated up and ignited the papers."
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"Joey."
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"I knew that big penis was nothing but trouble."
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"I'm sorry, what?"
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"I knew that big penis was nothing but trouble."
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"Okay, I guess I heard what you said."
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"I don't know what you're talking about."
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"Nah, it's a long story."
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"Anyway, if I was trying to tell someone how to burn a place down,"
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"I would suggest every step you took in your business."
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"So they're probably gonna investigate you."
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"You did so many stupid things, it looks like arson."
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"Arson?"
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"(distant music playing)"
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"-(festive music playing) -(lively chattering)"
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"Mocha Joe: I'm glad you're here."
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"You know, we never got a chance"
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"to thank you for the house."
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"I mean, we love it. We really do."
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"I mean, if it wasn't for the insurance money,"
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"-and the lawsuit settlements-- -Larry: Hey, you know what?"
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"It's customary when people have a party"
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"-Oh, we're having one next week, too. -That's right."
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"-What are we having? What are we having? -We're having a luau."
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