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Clips from The Simpsons - The Day the Violence Died (S07E07)

"All right. The coast is clear."
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"- There's a box you can sleep in. - Thanks."
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"- Just move that cot outta the way. - Okay."
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"- Do you know what radon is? - No."
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"Good night."
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"Spare change?"
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"Oh, it's just Bart and a mysterious stranger."
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"He's not a regular bum, Mom. He's a genius bum."
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"He created Itchy, and he's the father of cartoon violence."
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"He just needs to stay here till tomorrow."
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"We're goin' down to Itchy & Scratchy Studios to pick up his check."
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"Well, if it's just for one more night."
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"So, let's review:"
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"You two screwballs have just strolled in here fresh from the sewer..."
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"and you expect me to give you... how much?"
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"$800 billion."
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"Well, that brought back a lot of memories."
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"All right, gentlemen, I'll take your case."
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"But I'm going to have to ask for a thousand-dollar retainer."
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"A thousand dollars? But your ad says, "No money down. ""
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"Oh, they got this all screwed up."
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"So you don't work on a contingency basis?"
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"No, money down! Oops."
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"I shouldn't have this Bar Association logo here either."
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"- Hey, Dad, can I have a thousand dollars? - All right. Wait. For what?"
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"- To pay for a lawyer for my bum. - Forget it."
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"I thought I recognized you."
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"I gave you a plate of corn muffins back in 1947 to paint my chicken coop."
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"- And you never did it! - Those corn muffins were lousy."
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"- Paint my chicken coop! - Make me!"
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"- That does it. One of them has to go. - Okay. Grandpa."
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"- No, the B-U-M. - Oh."
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"Wait. There's an easy way to get rid of Chester..."
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"And all it will cost you is a thousand dollars."
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"Exhibit A: Steamboat Itchy, dated 1928."
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"The very first Itchy and Scratchy cartoon. And the credits clearly state..."
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""Written, directed and created by Roger Myers."
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""Music by Roger Myers and George Gershwin."
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""Produced by Roger Myers and Joseph P. Kennedy."
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"Copyright 1928 by Roger Myers. ""
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"You will also notice Mr. Myers's name and copyright notice..."
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"on the original drawings of the other members of the Itchy and Scratchy family:"
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"Brown-Nose Bear, Disgruntled Goat..."
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"Flatulent Fox, Rich Uncle Skeleton..."
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"and Dinner Dog."
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"My client's film predates all of those things, Your Honor."
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"Oh, yes! I've forgotten..."
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"your famous film-"
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"the one you destroyed before the trial and haven't been able to find another copy of."
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"Oh, yes. That film."
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"Krusty, have you ever seen this so-called animation genius before?"
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"I gave him a couple of blintzes to paint my fence..."
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"- but he never did it! - Those blintzes were terrible."
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"You give me back those blintzes then!"
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"Now, Mr. Lampwick, when Roger Myers stole your character-"
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"- Objection. - Sustained."
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"If I hear "objection" and "sustained"..."
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"one more time today, I think I'm going to scream."
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"- Objection. - Sustained."
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"Roger Myers didn't create any of his characters."
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"- He stole them all. - Stole them all? That could turn this whole case around."
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"The only characters Myers could ever come up with were pathetic stick figures..."
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"with the words "Sarcastic Horse" and "Manic Mailman" printed on 'em."
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"- That's a lie! - Are you saying- under oath, Mr. Myers-"
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"that your father didn't steal any of the characters associated with your studio?"
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"Well, I don't think I am under oath, but yes, my father created them all."
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"Except for Flatulent Fox. That was based on a true story."
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"But he did create Itchy. That's one thing I am sure of."
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"Mr. Hutz, we've been in here for four hours. Do you have any evidence at all?"
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"Well, Your Honor, we've got plenty of hearsay and conjecture."
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"Your Honor, I move for dismissal."
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"I've got it! Dad, give me $750."
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"Okay."
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"Keep the trial going. I'll be right back."
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"Your Honor, I'd like to call all of my surprise witnesses again."
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"Oh, they were my favorites."
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"Thank you."
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"I knew I had seen this exact scene somewhere else."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, this drawing was made in 1919-"
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"nine years before Roger Myers made his first Itchy and Scratchy cartoon."
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"That could have been drawn by anyone at anytime, Your Honor. There's no signature or date."
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"Look under the frame, Brad."
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"Careful. Careful. Whoops."
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"Hmm. "To Roger Myers. Keep drawing."
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""Your moxie more than makes up for your lack of talent."
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"Your pal, ChesterJ. Lampwick. September 3, 1919.""
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"Okay. Maybe my dad did steal Itchy."
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"But so what? Animation is built on plagiarism."
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"If it weren't for someone plagiarizing The Honeymooners..."
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"we wouldn't have The Flintstones."
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"If someone hadn't ripped off Sergeant Bilko, there'd be no Top Cat."
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"Huckleberry Hound? Chief Wiggum? Yogi Bear? Ha!"
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"Your Honor, you take away our right to steal ideas..."
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"where are they gonna come from- her?"
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"How 'bout... Ghost Mutt?"
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"The court rules in favor of Mr. Lampwick."
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"Itchy & Scratchy Studios will pay a restitution of $800 billion."
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"Though that amount will probably come down a bit on appeal."
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"I hope you're happy, kid. The studio's bankrupt."
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"You just killed Itchy and Scratchy."
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"We killed Itchy and Scratchy?"
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"Good riddance. Wanna go celebrate?"
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"I feel like liver and onions."
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"Mmm."
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"What are you gonna do with all your money, Mr. Lampwick?"
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"Well, first off, here's your thousand dollars back for hiring that lawyer..."
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"and $750 for the drawing..."
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"and here's a couple of bucks for your trouble."
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"Whoo-hoo! Look, Marge. A couple of bucks!"
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"As for the rest of it, I'm gonna buy the one thing I've been dreaming of..."
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"all the years I spent in the gutter:"
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"Heh-heh-ho-ho-"
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"Sorry about this, kids. But stay tuned."
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"We got some real good toy commercials comin' right up. I swear."
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"- Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?"
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"I'm not garbage."
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"I'm an amendment to be Yes, an amendment to be"
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"And I'm hopin' that they'll ratify me"
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"Who have got too much freedom"
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"'Cause there's limits to our liberties"
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