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Clips from The Simpsons - The Day the Violence Died (S07E07)

"Least I hope and pray that there are"
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"'Cause those liberal freaks go too far"
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"But why can't we just make a law against flag burning?"
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"Because that law would be unconstitutional."
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"But if we change the Constitution-"
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"Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws.!"
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"- Now you're catching on. - What the hell is this?"
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"It's one of those campy, '70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation X'ers."
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"What if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?"
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"Then I'll crush all opposition to me"
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"And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay"
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"If he fights back I'll say that he's gay"
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"You're in the U.S. Constitution."
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"Oh, yeah! Door's open, boys."
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"Whoob-whoob-whoob-whoob."
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"So it's true. Some cartoons do encourage violence."
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"- Ow! We gotta get Itchy and Scratchy back. - And soon!"
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"Ow!"
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"You've got to make more Itchy and Scratchy cartoons."
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"The judge says it's okay as long as you pay Mr. Lampwick royalties."
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"Royalties? Ha!"
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"I don't have the money to produce the cartoons. I lost everything."
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"I can't even keep my dad's head in the freakin' cryogenic center anymore."
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"Ya comfortable in there, Daddy?"
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"Look, if money's the only problem, I know a guy who has lots of it."
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"- Humph. - Sir? Sir? Sir?"
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"Okay. Catch you on the way back."
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"- Oh, hi, kids. - Hi, Chester."
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"Listen. Would you pay to make more Itchy and Scratchy cartoons?"
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"and my gold house and my rocket car..."
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"- I don't need anything else. - Yes, but-"
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"Not interested."
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"Dad, can we have $183,000?"
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"- What for? - Lisa and I want to finance a series of animated cartoons."
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"Oh. Uh- Forget it!"
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"Oh, no. I give up."
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"- There's nothin' we can do. - Yeah. I agree."
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"- You wanna start on tryin' to get Apu out of jail? - Okay."
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"Wait, kids. You can't give up on Itchy and Scratchy. You're always so good at these things."
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"Why, together you've reunited Krusty with his father..."
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"gotten Principal Skinner his job back..."
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"and helped Dr. Riviera perform open heart surgery on your father."
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"You've even foiled Sideshow Bob on five separate occasions, and he's an evil genius."
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"You're right, Mom. I'm sure if we put our minds to it we can solve this one too."
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"Bart, look at this!"
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"What a perfect plan."
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"Now Roger Myers's hotel is just-"
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"And, so, when no one could think of a plan to resurrect Itchy and Scratchy..."
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"a young boy- a wonderful, irrepressible young boy-"
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"took it on his own to solve the problem."
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"He discovered that the Postal Service's Mr. Zip..."
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"was just a rip-off of my father's stick figure character Manic Mailman."
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"- So the government gave me a huge cash settlement..."
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"and Itchy & Scratchy Studios is back in business."
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"Thanks to you, Lester."
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"- What the hell is going on? - I don't know."
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"But it looks like you might have a little competition all of a sudden."
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"Thanks, everybody. But I couldn't have done all this..."
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"I, too, owe many thanks to Lester and Eliza."
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"went to get the paper, fell down and had the door slam behind them and the doorknob break off."
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"And I'd like to thank Lester for reuniting me with my estranged wife."
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"- I never even heard about that. - I don't understand it."
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"We're always the ones who solve these problems."
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"I guess you don't need it now, but... we had a plan too."
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"Hey, great. Listen. Write it down and mail it to last week, when I might have cared."
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"And Scratchy Show"
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"Huh?"
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"You kids must be so happy."
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"- Your cute little cartoon friends are back on the air. - Yes."
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"Well, technically everything worked out all right, but-"
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"- But? - Well, I wasn't the one who solved the problem..."
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"There's something unsettling about that."
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"Shh!"
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"- Huh? - He stole the character from me in 1928."
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"- Yes, I have. - You have?"
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"We're goin' down to Itchy & Scratchy Studios to pick up his check."
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