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Clips from The Simpsons - The Day the Violence Died (S07E07)

"D'oh!"
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"Hey, sister, just give me a chance to get next to you."
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"Oh, nerts!"
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"Represented on this next float is Roger Myers Sr..."
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"Here we see him creating the two comical characters..."
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"Uh-oh."
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"Get outta Bumtown, ya no-talent bum!"
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"You invented Itchy- the Itchy & Scratchy Itchy?"
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"but I can't think of a way to finish that sentence."
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""Itchy the Lucky Mouse in Manhattan Madness. ""
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"Look at that fat oaf."
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"Hmm, studio's closed until Tuesday. Animators have A.A. on Monday."
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"Mom, there's a weird smell and a lot of cursing..."
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"coming from the basement, and Dad's upstairs."
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"and given me a bunch of bulldink about creating Itchy-with no proof at all-"
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"without the guilt of sending him back to the gutter."
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"Yes. You don't have a copy, do you?"
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"- Paint my fence! - Make me."
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"Order! Order! We don't care about your blintzes."
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"And they stank! So he started stealing other people's characters."
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"Those are... kinds of evidence."
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"Oh, there they are."
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"It was in the movie Mr. Lampwick showed me."
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"It's there!"
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"Andy Griffith. Edward G. Robinson. Art Carney."
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"Uh- hmm-"
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"a solid gold house."
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"Well, Itchy and Scratchy are gone, but here's a cartoon that tries to make learning fun!"
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"There's a lot offlag burners"
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"I wanna make it legal for policemen to beat 'em"
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"We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little."
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"Good news, Amendment. They ratified ya."
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"Shoe shine, sir? Comb your hair for ya? Sir?"
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"- You'll get more royalties. - I don't need any more money."
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"I'm not greedy. As long as I've got my health and my millions of dollars..."
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"without the help of my brainy sister, Eliza."
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"This is a great vindication for anybody who was ever taking a bath..."
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"I've got cartoons to make, kids."
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"and neither was Lisa."
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"The Simpsons"
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"We now return to our 48-hour Itchy & Scratchy diamond jubilee marathon-"
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"celebrating 75 years of rib-tickling brutality..."
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"and hilarious atrocities."
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"The Itchy & Scratchy Show"
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"Aw."
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"- If I ever stop loving violence, I want you to shoot me. - Will do."
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"Tonight: A stowaway bear is terrorizing space shuttle astronauts."
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"But first a sneak peak at tomorrow's Itchy and Scratchy parade."
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"Hello, everybody. I'm here live on Main Street..."
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"where dedicated fans are already staking out the best seats for the big anniversary parade."
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"Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad."
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"Bye, kids. On your way back pick up a six-pack ofbeer."
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"Bart, Lisa, it's 11:00 at night. Where do you think you're going?"
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"- Downtown. - We gotta get seats for the Itchy and Scratchy parade."
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"I won't have my children sitting alone on a cold, dangerous street all night."
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"- Homer, you go too. - Oh! Why can't they just take the gun?"
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"Hey, the comic book store's still open."
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"- Save our seats. - Will do."
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"- Hello. - Oh!"
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"Hey-y-y!"
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"Hey, my threads, baby."
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"How come I've never seen that Itchy & Scratchy before?"
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"Perhaps because you are a prepubescent ignoramus."
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"This is a bootleg copy of Itchy & Scratchy Meet Fritz the Cat."
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"Because of its frank depiction of sex and narcotic consumption..."
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"it is not for infantile intellects such as yours."
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"Now toodle-oo."
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"Cool. I'll give you 10 bucks for that."
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"Are you the creator of Hi and Lois? Because you are making me laugh."
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"That drawing is worth exactly $750 American."
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"- It's valuable, huh? - Ooh, your powers of deduction are exceptional."
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"I simply can't allow you to waste them here..."
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"when there are so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment."
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"- Go! Go, for the good of the city. - Loser."
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"- Which one's Itchy- the car? - The mouse."
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"Oh. I guess that's not him then."
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"who founded his company in 1921..."
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"and struck it big when he teamed up a mouse named Itchy with a cat named Scratchy."
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"out of thoughts he plucks from his head."
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"And that man waving from the front of the float..."
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"is his son, Roger Myers Jr."
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"Oh, isn't this just the most fun you've ever had in your life, Dave?"
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"Yes, Suzanne. It is."
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"Whoa! Whoa!"
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"Oh, forget this. I'm outta here."
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"Yea, Bart.! Yea.!"
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"And now the parade has entered Bumtown.!"
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"Oh, it's all just so exciting, Dave.!"
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"- Certainly seems to be a poorly planned parade route."
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"Hey, wait up!"
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"Show some respect, man. That "no-talent" created Itchy and Scratchy."
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"He didn't create Itchy. I did."
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"When I complained, his thugs kicked me out of his office and dropped an anvil on me."
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"Luckily I was carrying an umbrella at the time."
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"Sure. In fact, I invented the whole concept of cartoon violence."
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"Before I came along, all cartoon animals did was play the ukulele. I changed all that."
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"Well, I'm not callin' you a liar, but-"
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"So I'm a liar, am I?"
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"That's the first Itchy cartoon ever made. And it was made by me, ChesterJ. Lampwick."
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"Find me a 90-year-old projector and I'll prove it to you."
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""Itchy runs afoul of an Irishman. ""
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"Look out, Itchy.! He's Irish.!"
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"Come on, Itchy. Kill him.! Kill that guy.!"
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""A chance for more mis"-"
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"Shh.! That's Teddy Roosevelt."
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"All right, Chester.! Woo.!"
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"Way to go.!"
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"I can't believe it. That was Itchy all right. You did invent him."
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"When people see this, you'll be rich and famous."
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"D'oh."
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"That was a nice film I had once. Last time I try to impress a four-year-old."
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"Well, see ya, kid."
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"You can't just go back to the gutter. You created Itchy. You should be a millionaire."
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"Ah, Roger Myers wouldn't give me a cent in the '20s."
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"Why would he give me anything now?"
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"You asked Roger Myers Sr. for money. Roger Myers Jr. 's in charge of the studio now."
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"He's a good man. Every Christmas he goes down to the pound..."
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"and rescues one cat and one mouse and gives them to a hungry family."
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"Hmm. Well, you can stay at my house until then."
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"My parents won't mind because they won't even know about it."
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