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Clips from The Simpsons - Dad Behavior (S28E28)

"when you sliced me in half."
The Simpsons
"It's just hard when you think you're gonna be slicing"
The Simpsons
"the same boy in half all your life."
The Simpsons
"Uh-huh..."
The Simpsons
"Well, I guess I'd better get to work."
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"On a Friday?"
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"(HUMMING)"
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"Why are you wearing a fishing hat?"
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"(GASPS) Are you going fishing without me?"
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"(WHIMPERS) What is happening with us?"
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"If you've got something to say, just say it."
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"Unless it's boring."
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"Is there someone else?"
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"Oh! Spare me your melodramata!"
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"(HUFFING)"
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"♪ ♪"
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"(TIRES SCREECH)"
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"Marge, I can't have a baby."
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"Coordinating our sleep schedules will be a nightmare."
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"Plus, the only good relationship I ever had was with my hat."
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"Then the wind blew it away."
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"You didn't have a good relationship with your father?"
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"(INSTRUMENTAL OF "TURKEY IN THE STRAW" PLAYS)"
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"Come here, sweet pea, give me a burp."
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"Aah! Youse got milk on me!"
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"I'll murdalize ya!"
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"Oh... that was before"
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"throwin' your baby into the sun was considered child abuse."
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"So you see, Simpson men just don't..."
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"Wait a minute!"
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"(BOTH LAUGHING)"
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"(GROWLING)"
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"Maybe I can finally be a good dad!"
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"Don't ruin my epiphany!"
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"- (SIZZLING) - Hey, Mr. Van Houten."
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"And I don't care."
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"Are you making envelope soup?"
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"Envelope soup?"
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"(CHUCKLES) That'd be silly."
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"No, I'm stamp mining."
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"You steam off the stamp, color in the postmark,"
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"and you just made half a dollar. Almost."
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"Careful! That's a forever stamp!"
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"Could be worth a fortune some day."
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"Well done."
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"And look at me."
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"I'm hangin' out with Bart Simpson."
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"That's so cool."
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"I can't wait till Wendell sees us hangin' out."
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"Oh, hey."
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"Oh, I built it up too much."
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"(CRICKETS CHIRPING)"
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"♪ What do you do with a drunken Homer? ♪"
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"♪ Make him watch "Hunt for Red October" ♪"
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"♪ Let him drive in a lunar rover ♪"
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"♪ Tickle his nose with a... ♪"
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"Oh, hi, Marge."
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"Homer, why were you fishing with Milhouse?"
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"Because for once, I'm with a kid who respects me."
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"One who doesn't call me "Homer.""
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"I didn't know that bothered you."
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"It does. A lot."
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"Oh, Homer."
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"Feels good when you say it."
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"Ah..."
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"Honey, maybe you should talk to Bart."
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"He's just behind that wall."
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"Get your fat ass over here!"
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"You see? You see?!"
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"It's not bad enough he calls me "Homer.""
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"He calls my buttocks "ass.""
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"Hmm. He probably learned that at school."
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"Lisa and I aren't speaking right now."
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"I can't believe you threw away my Utne Readers!"
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"MARGE: Oh, is that how you pronounce it? Aah!"
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"(BIRDS SINGING)"
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"For most of my child's life, I'll be gone."
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"When you're cremated, you feel it!"
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"Aah."
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"Oh, Abe, hi."
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"I-I was about to call you."
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"I had an ultrasound today. But..."
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"♪ ♪"
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"Does this mean...?"
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"Yup, I'm the father."
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"And I thought she was just using me for a beard."
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"♪ ♪ (GASPS)"
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"♪ ♪"
The Simpsons
"(SIGHS): Well, I just want to say..."
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"Yes! I can't raise my left arm,"
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"much less a child!"
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"Yippee! Not having kids keeps you young!"
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"Oh, I knew you'd come back!"
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"(CLEARS THROAT)"
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"- Kirk. - Homer."
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"- Dad. - Fat Ass."
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"That is not my name!"
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"Mm, mm, mm!"
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"Let's roll."
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"Can't let 'em catch us."
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"(GASPS) (TIRES SCREECH)"
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"Son, I'm so sorry!"
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"I'm getting rid of this stupid stop sign"
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"(GRUNTS)"
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"(TIRES SCREECHING, HORNS HONKING)"
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"I'm sorry, too, Dad."
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"(GASPS) You called me Dad!"
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"There's a first time for everything."
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"Also, a last."
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"Milhouse, I'd be lying if I said riding in a go-cart"
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"with Bart Simpson wasn't the highlight of my life,"
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"but you're my son and I love you."
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"I love you, too, Dad."
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"You're my favorite guy that Mom's brought home."
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"Last one home is a rotten father!"
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"Those aren't yours to keep!"
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"They take them out of our pay!"
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"HOMER: We'll bring them back when we get tired of them!"
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"Oh, that never happens."
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"But, Chief, I... I don't think those vehicles"
The Simpsons
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