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Clips from The Simpsons - Dad Behavior (S28E28)

"Aw."
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"(STEELY DAN'S "DIRTY WORK" PLAYING)"
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"HOMER: ♪ I'm a fool to do my dirty work ♪"
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"♪ No more ♪"
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"♪ Gonna leave my socks and dirty shirt ♪"
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"♪ On the floor. ♪"
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"Homie,"
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"I don't like that the house"
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"And I... wait, wait, why are you taking out your phone?"
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"(GASPS)"
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"Sweetie, you know I'm no good at arguments,"
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"so I brought in a professional."
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"Hello, ma'am, my name's Blake,"
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"and I'm a retired FBI hostage negotiator."
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"I wouldn't say this is a hostage situation."
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"Mm, no one said it was, ma'am."
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"I'm just here to listen."
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"So that was step one: listening."
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"Next, empathy."
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"Mm, it must be frustrating for you to hear me talk"
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"like you're invisible."
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"You know, I love the color scheme in your home."
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"I feel like you're saying that just to build a rapport with me."
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"Wow, that's very observant."
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"Very wise."
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"Oh, well, thank you."
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"This ain't my first rodeo."
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"Marge, right now"
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"in your kitchen."
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"I am back home in my kitchen!"
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"Then life is good."
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"Am I right?"
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"Mm-hmm. You are."
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"While I'm here, could I also fix your icemaker?"
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"Yes."
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"Oh, yes."
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"Blake, I adore you."
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"Shh. It's over now."
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"Go get some rest."
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"Hmm."
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"Homer, can we throw the ball around?"
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"Oh, um..."
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"By "we," I mean me and your chore monkey."
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"(CHUCKLING): Oh, of course! Sure, buddy."
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"For you I'll get one without a criminal record."
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"Which means I'll have to use Choremonkey Gold."
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"(CASH REGISTER DINGS)"
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"Good one, Bart. (GRUNTS)"
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"Wait, are you Heisman Trophy-winner Matt Leinart?"
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"Yep, I am."
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"And you need this job?"
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"after football."
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"But what about your broadcasting work?"
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"Uh, sunk it all into my Thai-Irish fusion restaurant,"
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"(BACKUP SENSOR BEEPING)"
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"On the plus side, he taught me how to throw a perfect spiral."
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"(GRUNTS)"
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"Yes!"
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"Aw, love you, man."
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"Ah, I love you."
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"Maybe I should play a little catch with my son now."
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"Whatever, Hoss, let's see what you got."
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"(GRUNTS)"
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"FLANDERS: My zinnias!"
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"(SCOFFS) Annuals."
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"(GROANS)"
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"(COUGHS)"
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"Dad, you're embarrassing me in front of Matt Leinart."
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"- But... - Wow."
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"You made that for me?"
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"No, it used to be O.J.'s."
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"Yeah, Little Juice."
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"(GROANS) Oh, stupid Choremonkey."
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"(LEINART AND BART GRUNTING)"
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"(HOMER MOANING AND WHINING)"
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"- (GRUNTS) - Nice pass, sir."
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"Ju... This isn't fun at all."
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"You know the monkeys also rate the customers."
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"Now everyone will know what kind of man you are."
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"Jerk."
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""Jerk." Bart used to call me that."
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"(SOBBING)"
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"Be careful, Dad."
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"Being careful is not going to get us"
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"on America's Funniest Home Videos."
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"Now, when I nod, you pull the bottom brick out"
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"and the wall falls on me."
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"Then call Vin Di Bona Productions,"
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"then an ambulance."
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"Wait. Won't they know this video is fake?"
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"Why would I be filming you making a wall?"
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"Why didn't you bring these things up"
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"at the production meeting?"
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"Well, it's too late now!"
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"Oh, great!"
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"Dad, can I get you one of my children's Xanax?"
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"What I need is that $10,000 prize."
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"Not $5,000. I already spent that on bricks."
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"Now pull that rope."
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"If I pull the rope and it kills you,"
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"I'll need a lot of therapy."
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"I'm not gonna die, son."
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"Uh, but if I do, can you play "Nobody Does It Better""
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"at my funeral on the recorder?"
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"I can't be a part of this."
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"Well, at least I got it on video."
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"Delete."
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"(GROANING): Ah, come on."
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"(KNOCKING ON DOOR)"
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"What are you doing here? It's not pudding day."
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"So you realize that's how you've treated me all these years"
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"Look, Dad, I would visit more"
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"if I hadn't put you in such a depressing place."
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"Whatever."
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"I've got a real problem here."
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"I'm gonna be a father again!"
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"My girlfriend's pregnant."
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"I leave you alone for six months and this is what happens?"
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"How did you even meet her?"
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"Oh, this home just got the Internet"
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