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Clips from M*A*S*H - To Market, to Market (S01E01)

"Get O‘Brien."
M*A*S*H
"All right, Frank. You got me up, but you‘d better have a good reason."
M*A*S*H
"Well, the cold facts are, sir, that I believe there are black stockings——"
M*A*S*H
"marketeers—— operating on this base."
M*A*S*H
"— I‘m not in a position—— — Black marketeers... on my base?"
M*A*S*H
"Where‘s O‘Brien?"
M*A*S*H
"[ Henry Mumbling To Himself]"
M*A*S*H
"My desk. My beautiful, 100—year—old desk."
M*A*S*H
"What‘s going on here, Frank?"
M*A*S*H
"Sending it out to be waxed?"
M*A*S*H
"I don‘t know what it‘s doin‘ up there."
M*A*S*H
"Itjust keeps goin‘ up, up, up."
M*A*S*H
"To a far, far better place, I‘m sure."
M*A*S*H
"[ Horn Honking]"
M*A*S*H
"Two hundred vials of hydrocortisone... as promised."
M*A*S*H
"We‘ll make sure it gets to the right people."
M*A*S*H
"— You‘ll understand ifwe don‘t give you a receipt? — Yeah."
M*A*S*H
"Just got a wire from the insurance company."
M*A*S*H
"They say they‘re willing to pay offon my desk..."
M*A*S*H
"as soon as / can give them a belie i/able explanation."
M*A*S*H
"Hey. Have you got a relative who‘s a general?"
M*A*S*H
"You know how it is, Colonel: We all lookalike."
M*A*S*H
"in case he bumped into anybody in the shower."
M*A*S*H
"|couldn‘t do that."
M*A*S*H
"He has a meeting this afternoon with MacArthur."
M*A*S*H
",L‘ [ Radio: “Chattanooga Choo—Choo” Injapanese]"
M*A*S*H
"You got a good thought there."
M*A*S*H
"— Yes. Yeah. — How‘s everything at home? Any trouble?"
M*A*S*H
"Handsome desk."
M*A*S*H
"They‘re up to something. That general‘s aide."
M*A*S*H
"For being you."
M*A*S*H
"Well, at least we know the colonel‘s liquor‘s safe."
M*A*S*H
"[Wall Creaking]"
M*A*S*H
"— What are you two doing? — Early Mass."
M*A*S*H
"Yeah. That‘s my genuine antique desk."
M*A*S*H
"We‘ve got to go to him with conclusive evidence, something that‘ll get ‘em..."
M*A*S*H
"Why didn‘t they make things like they do today?"
M*A*S*H
"—[Carriage Bell Ringing] —[Bumping]"
M*A*S*H
"— Now, what can I do foryou fellas? — I‘ll make it short and sweet."
M*A*S*H
"— Oh, yeah. A lot ofstuff. — There must be something you want."
M*A*S*H
"You know, we got a big man here. This guy‘s a two—star general."
M*A*S*H
"What did you want to say about it?"
M*A*S*H
"—You know, if| were to tell you about this desk—— —Tell him, Henry. Tell him."
M*A*S*H
"Last night I had a dream."
M*A*S*H
"— In that case, the least we can do is save him. — Mm. Ifyou insist."
M*A*S*H
"All right. Okay. He‘s out ofdanger for the time being. Get Spearchucker to finish him."
M*A*S*H
"— Here—Here—Here it is. —I heard that."
M*A*S*H
"You‘ll have to move this vehicle. This space is reserved for ambulances."
M*A*S*H
"— I‘d like to slip into something a little more comfortable. — Like what, darling?"
M*A*S*H
"I think we‘ve stumbled on a whole syndicate."
M*A*S*H
"My booze!"
M*A*S*H
"Pardon me, Henry. Isn‘t that your desk?"
M*A*S*H